Today is a landmark day in the Chris Brown assault trial. Rihanna will be in court and it is expected for her to be a good civilian, and victim, and testify against that little bitch Chris Brown. But it is clear that she can not be forced to testify. Even if she refuses to testify, Mark Geragos, Chris Brown’s attorney, may be able to get a pretty decent plea deal.

The whole goal of the Chris Brown legal team is to avoid jail time altogether. I suppose it doesn’t really matter if he goes to the clink or not. His career is over and there isn’t a snowballs chance in hell that he will ever record with a talented artist or anyone big in “the business” again. However, I heard that there is an opening for human punching bag at the local anger management class. He should look into it.

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Chris Brown is as guilty as the sky is blue, but since the cops suck at concealing evidence he may walk. Most people, especially readers of this site have seen the pictures of Rihanna beaten and bloody. But the pictures were obtained through a leak, and that is what give Chris Brown’s attorney, Mark Geragos, the ammunition to get the entire case dismissed.

Geragos says in his own words, “The leaks can form the basis for a motion to dismiss the case in regards to outrageous governmental misconduct.” That sounds like a bunch of lawyer mumbo jumbo to me. What happened to the law you beat the shit out of a helpless girl and deserve to have your ass molested in prison for the next several years. Yea, yea I like the second option better.

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Links that learned at a very young age to keep their hands to themselves

Horseface and pussypants are expecting twins- IDLYITW

Speidi are healthy- Allie Is Wired

Harriet Carter Wednesday- IBBB

Octomom can’t even get a dog- Amy Grindhouse

Sean Penn is getting a divorce- Celeb News Wire

Heidi Montag might pose in Playboy- yeeeah

Diora Baird in FHM- IDLYITW

Jennifer Love Hewitt got her figure back- I Don’t Want Your Life

Naomi Campbell is retiring- Holy Moly

Lindsay Lohan is still rocking the bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Aniston is adopting! Yea, I’ll beleive that when I see her titties getting sucked- popbytes

Halle Berry looks better. – Celebrity Dirty Laundry

I Want To Work For Diddy 2 is casting- Geno’s World

Jewel is still famous? – Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Mel Gibson has landed a hot new piece of ass- notorious news

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Yesterday was Chris Brown’s arraignment and he finally faced the music. But being the little 19 year old punk that he is, he plead not guilty while he waits for a plea deal from prosecutors. Now according to some insiders, Rihanna will testify if the case goes to court but Chris Brown is doing literally everything in his power to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Diddy was an enabler in this whole thing so maybe he can talk to the prosecutors. He played a lawyer on CSI. That qualifies him as a prosecutor right? Chris’s mother was inside the courtroom either crying or praying, sources couldn’t decide. I don’t see Chris walking away from this. If I were in his shoes I would just go ahead and plea guilty and get the jail time over with. It is not like he will be able to find work as a musician after all of this. I am personally sick of hearing about this story so this is probably the last time you will hear about it until his next arraignment on April 29.

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Links that keep their hands to themselves

Screw you, Madonna- IDLYITW

Sienna Miller has dirty feet- Drunken Stepfather

Gwyneth Paltrow is smart- Allie Is Wired

The Hills recap- IBBB

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Amy Winehouse is an ateention whore in the Caribbean- Celeb News Wire

Kate Beckinsale is a lady- IDLYITW

Farrah Fawcett looked great in her hey day- yeeeah

Eliza Dushku is pretty- I Don’t Want Your Life

Jodie Marsh is topless and made my day- Holy Moly

Prince Harry is kind of a douche bag- Amy Grindhouse

Get your own celebrity wax figure- popbytes

American Idol‘s top 8 perform tonight- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Zac Efron is too good for social networking- Celebrity Dirty Laundry 

Video of Lauren Conrad on the beach- Geno’s World

Lauren Conrad is done with The Hills – notorious news

After Chris Brown beat Rihanna to a pulp, they started feeling sorry for each other and they hooked back up. They even recorded a duet together. Now Rihanna flew to New York to hang out with some of her other music mogul friends while chris Brown stayed back in L.A. to record a cd that no one on earth is going to buy. Sources say that Chris is just obsessed with his music and that is why he didn’t make the trip.

Truth be told, if he ever showed his facein the presence of Jay-Z and other music stars, they would probably beat the shit out of him. That and the fact that Rihanna is probably sick and tired of dating someone who looks like they are 15 years old. You know I have been in a similar situation before. I have had to smack around hos now and then. Give em’ my 2 cents. Put them in their place. And the result was unquestioned loyalty and total service on their part. Get me a lemonade was no longer a request but a direct order. And in the end, we were both better for it. So watch out Chris Brown. Don’t let your little slave escape to NYC where her music friends will fill her head with ideas of liberalism and freedum. Keep that bitch under your thumb.

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Links that are in a solid relationship

Everyone is ugly next to Doutzen Kroes- IDLYITW

Kentucky Fried Chicken doesn’t have “chefs” – IBBB

Natasha Richardson is not dead- Holy Moly

Faye Dunaway looks like a burn victim- Drunken Stepfather

Hayden Panettiere is a pig- I Don’t Want Your Life

Reese Witherspoon is off the market? Doubt it- yeeeah

Amber Le Bon is a model- IDLYITW

Guy Ritchie has moved on from Madonna- Celeb News Wire

Lady Gaga wants to bang Prince Harry- Allie Is Wired

Tori Amos has a new kickass single- popbytes

Octomom brings home two of her octuplets- Geno’s World

American Idol’s Adam Lambert is scary- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Octomom gets swarmed by paparazzi- notorious news

Rihanna is still making the mistake of her life by standing by Chris Brown, but their relationship isn’t just superficial. They are actually in the studio right now recording a duet together. i am sure it is a song about how relationships have ups and downs but in the end they still survive. Well Rihanna did survive, barely. I could see them talking to each other on the phone or even texting, which is what started this whole mess in the first place, but hanging out face to face makes me think Rihanna just wants to make herself into the cliche beaten up girlfriend you hear so much about in country music.

” He beat me because he loves me” is what she will tell her family. In the meantime the majority of the viewing public will make fun of her, me included, until she breaks up with this monster. I am sure the other guys at the recording studio are just thrilledthat they get to work with Chris Brown. How much more awkward could this situation be? Not much. And the song they are recording is for Chris’ album due out later this year. Who the fuck is going to buy it? Rihanna fans? Not likely. If I were him I would plead guilty, get the jail time done with and try to move on in his life being a construction worker or some shit.

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Links that beat before they can get beaten

Britney Spears’ pussy was hanging out- IDLYITW

Cristy from Intervention- IBBB

Amy Winehouse is still obsessing over her ex- Holy Moly

J-Love is slim and she is showing it off- Drunken Stepfather

Hayden Panettiere is getting bigger boobies- I Don’t Want Your Life

Kat Von D is pretty- yeeeah

Megan Fox is doing something- IDLYITW

Tom Cruise reminds me of nuns at my catholic grade school- Celeb News Wire

A Spice Girl had a baby- Allie Is Wired

Jamie Lynn Spears is going country- popbytes

Now THIS is how you teach kids- Geno’s World

Christian Bale will not be Batman again- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Tina Davis started the Chris Brown/Rihanna fight- notorious news

Chris Brown is facing the music today, and I am not talking about beat boxing in an L.A. recording studio. Today Chris Brown went to court and he did not enter a plea. In fact, the court case was postponed until April 6. He is being represented by celebrity attorney Mark Geragos who represented Michael Jackson and I think Winona Ryder too. This guy is so good that he got a waiver of presence for Chris Brown.

What a waiver of presence is basically something stating that Chris Brown doesn’t have to show up at his own trial. Geragos will represent him until April 6 which is the date of doom for Brown where they, the jurors, will more than likely find him guilty. There are rumors floating around that they postponed the court date so Brown could strike a deal with prosecutors, but we are not sure about that yet. The fact that Rihanna is not pressing charges says a lot in this case but I think the picture of Rihanna bruised and beaten speaks volumes. I hope this fucker gets the max which is 4 years and 8 months in the clink. I want to see how he can fight in jail when the person isn’t considerably smaller than him. What a bitch. Pictures of Chris Brown and his attorney below.

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Rihanna is a shallow dumb bitch, so I guess she can not find another guy to hook up with. I took it pretty easy on Rihanna in the past few weeks because I felt sorry for her. But not anymore. Rumors are circulating and People confirms that she is indeed back with Chris Brown. More than likely she will probably not press charges either. They are staying at P.Diddy’s mansion, making Diddy an enabler, in Miami and apparently Chris is trying to get some studio time in.

I hope he writes a song about how he kicked the fuck out of his girlfriend. That would make a cool song. I am not sure exactly who he thinks is going to buy this cd. I doubt any of his cds will sell after what he did. Which is a shame because before he beat up Rihanna, he was one of the hottest song writers in L.A. and just about every hip hop artist wanted to record with him. Is that me feeling sorry for him? How dare I! I am going to slap myself in the face and give myself a swirly in the toilet so I never feel sorry for a girl beater again.

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Links that will never get a finger raised to them

Melissa Theuriau is topless- IDLYITW

J-Lo has an Elvis mullet- IBBB

Adam Lambert is gay- Allie Is Wired

Michelle Williams is topless- Celeb News Wire

Denise Richards gets attention on and off the set of DWTS- Drunken Stepfather

Jessica Alba has fucked up grandma hands- I Don’t Want Your Life

Miley Cyrus jogs in daisy dukes- IDLYITW

LiLo hits up starbucks- Holy Moly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

AnnaLynne McCord to Marry Carrot Top- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Watchmen cast says there won’t be a sequel- Geno’s World

K-Fed is a gold digger extraordinaire! – notorious news

Amy Winehouse has landed in the U.K. – popbytes

The news lately has been just naabout nothing except the blow up between Rihanna and Chris Brown that left Rihanna bloodied and bruised. There are rumors left and right as to why they had the argument that they had. One site says that they were arguing over which car to take to the Grammys. Another site says that they wee arguing over a text message that Chris had received by some mystery woman.

Some sites are saying that they got into an argument over who was going to perform first at the Grammys. And yet another site is saying that Rihanna was the one who stated the argument and the alleged fight and that Chris Brown was only acting in self-defense. Even though he didn’t have a scratch on him and Rihanna could barely seout her eyes because of the swelling. But the rumor I like best is the one that depicts Chris Brown and Pais Hilton getting cozy at a Grammys pre-party that sent Rihanna into a rage. Oh and did I mention the rumor about Rihanna being pissed that Chris Brown gave her herpees? I can’t seem to make a post about Paris Hilton without mentioning herpees but the rumor is circulating.

According to OK magazine a source says, ” He [Chris Brown] and Paris went outside together. Paris was all over him. Rihannacaught wind of it and spent the rest of the night glued to him.” This doesn’t really surprise me. Paris seems to be all over just about every guy when she goes to parties. And if this attack that occurredin some park or subdivision or whatever happened because of Paris, well that shit is just funny. I am sure Paris’ name will come up in court at Chris Brown’s trial and she may even be called upon to testify. Which should go humorously. Le me reinerate the points here. Chris Brown, Rihanna, Paris Hilton, fight, herpees. That is about all I can say. More pictures of Paris Hilton and her disease ridden ass at the Grammys below.

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Hey, did you hear about Chris Brown being investigated for beating up an unknown female victim? You did? Maybe that is because every single website on the internet is reporting it right now. The news actually broke last night on E! with Ryan Gaycrest. Chris Brown, a sissy, didn’t perform at the Grammys and neither did his girlfriend Rihanna. People are still speculating whether or not Rihanna was the girl abused in the incident. The incident occurred early in the morning Sunday morning and Chris has since turned himself in.

The woman who was attacked had visual injuries and identified Chris Brown as her attacker. See this kind of gets under my skin. When a guy gets into it with another guy the worst thing you could call him is a hot head. When two chicks get into a fight it is super cool and you scream “girl fight!” And then everyone goes about their day. Here is Chris Brown, who is already a skinny little bitch getting into an argument with a girl and then beating the shit out of her in a limo somewhere in L.A. Why do the worst crimes occur in limos? What about the limo drivers? What do they do? Do they have full blown confidentiality with the passengers in the car? Are they going to bite their tounge in the hopes of getting a bigger tip at the end of the night? Of course only one conclusion can be taken away from this whole situation. How do I become a limo driver? I can turn that wheel thing. And when two girls start going down on each other in the backseat, I won’t tell the boyfriend. Hell even when teen pop stars start doing lines of blow off of each others breasts I will turn the other cheek. I think this is a job I would fit in at.

UPDATE: I learned that Chris Brown was actually in a rented Lamborghini when he beat the shit out of Rihanna. I still stand by my limo statements. Now I need to go get a driver’s liscense.

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