Carrie Prejean just recently got engaged to St.Louis Rams quarterback Kyle Boller. This is kind of good news for me cause I live in St.Louis and the next time I am at a downtown club I might run in to Carrie and sweep her off her feet and take her back to my $2 mil loft. She is as good as mine, we just have to dig up some dirt on Boller. Feel free to e-mail me if you got any dirt on that asshole.

The Rams had a pretty shitty season this year by only winning one maybetwo games. Seeing as Carrie is a tabloid target and is engaged to someone who is on America’s worst team and Kim Kardashian is dating Reggie Bush the running back from this season’s best team, it seems that Kim has won the tabloid battle with Prejean. Does that mean I wanna fuck Kim more than Carrie? Fuck no! Just had to be said.

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It seems that after filing complaint after complaint with the Miss USA pageant, the organization got sick of it and sent a complain of their own. They are asking for their money back for the breast implants Carrie Prejean got when she was still a model for them. Or contestant, or whatever you want to call her. I just call her bangable.

Last time I checked you can not go to a plastic surgeon with a bloody receipt and say, “I want my money back” but that is the jist of what she wants to do. She is famous and probably rich so she can afford to give the organization $5,200 for her amazing rack.  For me, I will give her $5,200 to show them to me. An additional $52,00 for to take off those pant suit pants. I will let her set the price for her to fuck me. See that? Aren’t I fair?

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Links that are au natural

Taylor Momsen is better- IDLYITW

Robert DeNiro settles a bet with Jummy Fallon- Geno’s World

Roman Polanski will not be free anytime soon- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Natalie Imbruglia is smart- The Korova Milk Bar

Adam Lambert pretends to be straight- yeeeah

Katie Holmes dresses like a three-year-old- notorious news

Can you break a twenty?- IDLYITW

Lily Allen is topless- Fatback Media (NSFW)

A lot of people say that Carrie Prejean a.k.a. Miss California is a homophobic prude. I am not saying I disagree with them, I am just saying that I don’t care. TheDirty.com has obtained exclusive photos of the Miss USA contestant posing topless, but not showing anything. She does however show off that amazing ass.

I am sure she will turn around and sue whoever posted the photos but she can not sue all the entertainment blogs so hahaha fuck her. I am sure this is just one of dozens of photos taken of her posing in a sleazy pose, but that is for another time. In the meantime enjoy the pic.

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Michael Phelps is like me. He enjoys pretty women. If there is anything else that he might like more than that, that would be a little bit of controversy to keep him in the headlines. That is probably why he is dating Miss California. I can’t really blame him, even though she is a homophobe, she is totally hot and I would hit that shit 6 ways a Sunday. Both Michael and Carrie aren’t really “celebrities.” Probably because they have no Hollywood talent. But we did get to hear about the relationship from Carrie’s grandmother. Grandmother?

Jeanette Coppolla, Carrie Prejean’s grandmother tells Radar, ” Carrie and Michael have been out to baseball games and lunch. He always calls her when he is in town and they go out.” So he isn’t really “banging” Carrie Prejean. Which leaves the door wide open to me. Someone who doesn’t shave his chest. A real man that can chop down trees with his bare hands and can eat 15 pancakes in one sitting. A man like me. A man who can, damn it! I broke a nail! Now I have to go downtown and see the manicurist again.

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A lot of men tuned in to watch the most superficial thing I have probably witnessed in my entire life last night. Miss USA. It was a killer show and even though douche bags like Perez Hilton were judges, it was an alright event. That is until Miss California had to make those fucked up comments about gay marriage in California. She said,” We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

Granted Miss USA contestants usually aren’t picked for their intelligence, but this was an amazingly STUPID thing to say. Especially to that flaming queen Perez Hilton. Now people are speculating that that comment alone cost her the crown. Which I would not be surprised by. Either way, I still get to have sex with the winner. Yes, it is a deal me and Mr.Trump worked out a long time ago. If he brings me the winner tied up and ball gagged after the competition, I let him get the building contracts to some of the sweetest real estate in the NYC area. We are tight like that.

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Links that were raised to have sex with anything with legs

Jessica Biel nude in Powder Blue – IDLYITW

Brooke Hogan: Thinker- IBBB

Elle Macpherson is in some short shorts- Drunken Stepfather

Britney Spears’ stalker speaks out- Amy Grindhouse

Lily Allen cutewatch continues- yeeeah

Madonna fell off a horse. Or did a horse fall off Madonna? I forget. – Celeb News Wire

Slumdog Millionaire father tries to sell his famous daughter- IDLYITW

You know those nipples are hard- I Don’t Want Your Life

Celebrities love Coachella- Holy Moly

Attu World is on Twitter- Attu World

Russell Crowe looks like a pansy- Geno’s World

Kelly Clarkson released another killer song- popbytes

Before they were famous: Jack Coleman. Who?- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Amy Winehouse is crack-ed – notorious news