Fatback Media

It is very true. A lot of you people probably watched the MTV VMA’s where Russel Brandt grilled the Jonas Brothers for wearing promise bracelets or chastity rings or whatever the fuck virgins where to show people that they will not have sex. I think it is pretty sad. They have made it public that they will not have sex until married so when they release their BS Disney dvds they can have a G rating.

Joe Jonas has already crossed a line with me. He had the opportunity to date, and potentially have sex with, Taylor Swift. And did he go for it? Nope. Now I lived in the south for a number of years and people down there were getting MARRIED at 19. Joe Jonas can’t even get some tail. It must be hard to watch millions of girls throw their bodies at you on a daily basis but all you can do is smirk and hide your boner.

I don’t really feel sorry for Joe though. He had the grade-A piece of ass like Taylor Swift and he dumped her for… this? Don’t get me wrong, this Camilla girl is pretty and everything but she is no Taylor Swift. While the Jonas brothers keep kissing Disney’s ass I will go have sex with my girlfriend. Because I am 25 and not married. Sex before marriage. Oh, I’m bad!

Source

So…they are gay right? Camilla Belle and Maria Sharapova have been BFF’s for a while now. So much so that sources say that they may be having sensuous erotic girl on girl sexy relations. Top sources include me and my cock/balls.

Also in attendance were Camilla Belle and Maria Sharapova, who talked tennis and clothes. “This is my first couture show,” enthused Sharapova, while Belle raved about recently attending the Wimbledon tennis tournament in London. (WWD)

Again. In the immortal words of Laverne: MMmmm-hmm. Camilla’s at Wimbeldon cheering Maria on, Camilla’s at a fashion show cheering Maria on, Camilla’s on my couch cheering Maria on. Wait, that last part was written by Mortimer Ichabod Marker in my Judy Blume ‘Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing’ Diary. He can be such kidder!