Posts tagged Breasts
Lindsay Lohan Likes Drugs
Sep 18th
"You look mighty cute in them jeans..."
Apparently, Lindsay Lohan couldn’t keep her nose clean during probation and has failed her mandatory drug test. This means she may face prison time…oh who the fuck am I kidding. She could snort coke from the canoed skull of a her own aborted fetus and drive her car right up the LA County Courthouse steps at lunchtime wearing the skin of murdered runaway teen as a jacket and she’d still never see the inside of a prison again. You see, rich people get to do what they want, and people like you and me get to murder hate them.
We’re told the court-mandated drug test in question occurred last week. According to the terms of Lindsay’s probation, she will get 30 days in jail for a positive drug test.
One source connected with Lindsay tells TMZ … “People with addiction problems don’t get better magically, and she’s really been making an effort to make herself better.” (via TMZ)
So apparently Fornarina, makes clothing for the jockey lot. Howwwwwwwwwwl!
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- Whore in wolf’s clothing
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- “You look mighty cute in them jeans…”
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- We get it, you have nice tits.
Jessica Alba Shies Away From Latina Roles
Sep 2nd
Who wants tacos?
Jessica Alba recently told USA Today that she normally shies away from Latina roles, [like housekeeper, stripper, stripper housekeeper, vampire stripper housekeeper, teenage mom, teenage mom stripper housekeeper- Ed.] but she took the role of the sharp tongued, gritty INS agent in film Machete because the character was “an intelligent, fierce, independent woman”. Butter my tacos,  Joo Ess Aye Today.
“For me, I never wanted to reinforce any stereotypes about Latin women, and that was why I’ve shied away from Latin characters I’ve been offered. Most of them reinforced the stigmas. The women whom I grew up with are intelligent, strong women, and unless I read a woman being portrayed that way in a film, I didn’t want to play it.” (via)
I think its great that Yessica is standing up for her principles like that and not reinforcing stereotypes. I was just talking to Consuela, my teen housekeeper about this the other day. She totally nodded while we were talking. I think I’ll buy her daughter that pinata she’s been asking for.
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- Who wants tacos?
Sofia Vergara For The Win
Sep 1st
Horizontal stripes are not slimming on those babies.
Sofia Vergara has been getting a lot of press these days because of the Emmy win for Modern Family and because of her gigantic Columbian boobies. This is Sofia out and about in LA proving that she can look sexy in that dress that your girlfriend wears and thinks is hot because it’s so thin and sheer, but her ass looks huge and you just want to stay in the car and listen to NPR a little longer and scrunch way down when she goes into 7-11 to get Pringles and Tampax. Go Emmys!
Here’s more Sofia Vergara and her Sabado Gigantes:
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- Horizontal stripes are not slimming on those babies.
Kim Kardashian is a Racer!
Jul 13th
VROOM VROOM! I’m a racer…
This is Kim Kardashian dressed ridiculously at some promotion for some asinine product that WOW playahs will be pouring over their man tits after they get the 20th degree nerd fatty badge in the enchanted forest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for senseless cleavage and Armenian DSL’s, but I’m still confused as to why this chick is famous. Let’s ask her…
Fatback Media: So K-Kard, nice tits B.tha.dub… So Kimbo, why are you so famous?
Kim Kard: Well, first of all my daddy helped free a murderer, then um, oh yeah I sucked that dude’s pole on a Vivid ™ video. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Kim Kardashian Superstar ™? (All Rights Reserved)
FM: I’m sure I have no idea..
KK: Also, I was naked in Playboy, which you know is like, a HUGE honor.
FM: Yeah, that’s what they tell me. But don’t you feel like you’re just exploiting yourself at the expense your self respect…Bwahahahah, I’m just fucking with you. Let’s see them titties!
KK: …
FM: I’ve got some blow and a Flip camera…
KK: [ziiiiiip.....]
There you have it folks. Truly one of our generation’s greatest heroes. *makes motorboat noise*
