Posts tagged Bikini
My Heroes Have Always Been Cowgirls
Aug 25th
Apologies to Willie, but having a cowboy as your hero is a little uh… YMCA for me.
Here’s Heroes star Ali Larter gettin’ her cowgirl on down in the ‘bu. Malibu has become The Ivy if southern California beaches. What was once the rich person’s private getaway is now the place for the Heidi Montag’s of the world to cavort in the ubiquitous bikini sporting the “Whaaa…? A photographer?? WHERE?!?!?” look. I digress..
Ali Larter is an American Hero of slender, sinewy muscular proportions. Here’s how to take a regular hot chick and make her a hero. Add 2 or more of the following:
- Cowboy hat (worn ironically of course)
- bikini
- 1-3 dogs (one of which must be adorably ugly)
- Water
- All of the above in my apartment (minus the ugly dog)
More Ali heroically emerging from the mighty pacific. PS. Nice shave.
Kim Kardashian is Confusing
Aug 8th
Kim Kardashian is confusing me. First she had triple decker badonkadonk and now she looks smoking hot in these totally not staged bikini shots in Cabo. Either the photographer is a genius or something has changed. My penis and I have two questions:
- Was it a wizard?
- Was it a worm hole?
Either way the scientific community will be all ears about this mystery at the press conference. Also a mystery: the origins of my sexy dance moves. I love the night life. I got ta boogie. It’s true.
Audrina Patridge is Filler
Aug 6th
I save these “girl with big tits in a bikini” posts for days when news is slow or for when I’m out of comish for day or two because of some embassy situation or an overabundance of dirty martinis. So here she is y’all. Audrina Patridge, the poor little rich girl wit the big tits. Of all the girls on the Hills I like her best, because she sold early and she sold out fast and went right to posing nude. She’s like the trailer trash of Laguna Hills, even though she’s probably never seen the inside of a double wide. Call me Audrina, mine’s got 50″ plasma and a whirlpool tub. I’ll bring the pork cracklins and beer.
Joanna Krupa Seems Smart
Jul 23rd
This is Joanna Krupa, about the hottest thing to come out of Poland since buffalo grass vodka and solidarity. When she’s not talking in that sexy Polish accent she’s usually in a bikini or nude. Here she is with Cindy Taylor From E! showing how smart and self reliant girls can look when they wear high heels with a bikini. I’d also like to mention that I hate one-peice bathing suits but Joanna seems to pull it off better than your mother did back in the 80′s. What a tramp.
PS. Is that an airbrushed camel-toe in the banner pic? Discuss.
