Posts tagged Bikini
Well, Why Not?
Dec 12th
This is Audrina Patridge trying on bikinis. [I thought that you weren't allowed to do that because your junk touches the fabric? Note to self: NEVER try on bikini before washing]. And why wouldn’t Audrina Partridge buy a new bikini? She’s a hot chick with big tits and that’s pretty much all she does for the world. Of all the vapid bitches on the completely scripted and made-up show, The Hills, Audrina Patridge is the least unlikable. She’s got great tits and she likes to get her picture taken in bikinis (and naked) which makes her a hero in 42 countries and three island nations. What she doesn’t do is try to sell clothes, or merchandise, or endorsements or be smart. Which is why I’m pretty sure that I’m going to marry her for a while.
Bono Seems Like Fun
Oct 27th
Irish Rock singer Bono and his chum Simon Carmody (of Golden Horde) took time off in the French Riveira this week to reflect on their charity work, take in the sites and even squeezed in time to bang a few teenage girls. The girls were discreet enough to keep it to themselves and only the 350 million other people on Facebook. I love teenagers!
The Irishmen met up with two 19-year-olds, American fashion student Andrea Feick and her British friend Hannah Emerson, in the playboys’ playground of St Tropez.
Miss Feick told The Mail on Sunday she had known Bono for a few years but insisted their relationship had never crossed the line beyond friendship.
She said: ‘I think that for somebody who’s much older than I am… no thank you.
‘No…God no!’ she laughed. ‘God no! He’s a friend of mine and that’s pretty much it. I’m not going to get into details, but it’s a small world.’
Miss Feick excitedly announced the trip in one public message [on Facebook] to her friend, saying: ‘So Bono and Simon called me yesterday and they arrived in Cannes today, so looks like we’ll have a plan! 
’ (Daily Mail)
It’s nice to see that Bono can still get some premium ass even at his old age. It really makes you feel good for all the other old, disgustingly rich, narcissistic assholes of the world. You know they need love too! Nineteen year old Andrea never really comes out and says she has a relationship with Bono, but let’s take a look at the subtext… If you’ll notice Andrea signed off her Facebook comment with the emoticon - which means “smiley face!” or “I’m happy!” or “I fucked Bono!”. So yeah, she’s probably just buds with him.
Megan Fox..can;t typ wid wun hand!@*
Sep 16th
This is Megan Fox shooting a spread for the new GQ. Wonder what it’s like to wake up as the hottest chick on earth? I used to ask your mom that. What a whore! There is a video for this (LINK) but I wouldn’t click it at work unless you don’t mind spontaneously fondling your junk at your cubicle. I personally have no problem with it. But somebody needs to get their cute little ass back into the HR office and stop judging.
OMFG UPDATE: So apparently this GQ article reports that Megan Fox got freaky with girl. A RUSSIAN STRIPPER NAMED NIKITA.
“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided – oh man, sorry, mommy! – that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop,” Fox said. “I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.”
Fox said Nikita would do “these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads.” She added that she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.
Despite the relationship, Fox said she does not identify herself as gay.
“Look, I’m not a lesbian,” she went on. “I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes.
“I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl – Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands,” she continued. “She’s mesmerizing. And lately I’ve been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but … oh boy.” (US)
If you’ll excuse me, I just fucking died.
See the video here and be prepared to prematurely lose your junk.
Labor Day Was Awesome
Aug 31st
Labor Day was so awesome that my server got drunk and posted a link post from last god damn week. Sweet. Also, I went a themed wedding in New England where we had to wear costumes and get drunker than a Kennedy during prohibition. I sure hope they find the dead chick in the water. People don’t forget. Anyway. I fixed the link post from the ghost of server’s past with some serviceable pics of Britney Spears in Vegas at a topless pool looking super F’able. I would tear that shit up like a raccoon in a garbage can. Just sayin’. I have a thing for busted up chicks with low self esteem.
