Fatback Media

Oh happy days are here! No not because Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have extended their family. Because Jennifer Garner will look hot in a bikini again! As of Tuesday night Ben and Jen have become parents, again. Of course no one in the family had any official comment on the birth of the baby. All we know now is that it is a little girl. Ben isn’t the most media savvy person you could meet and Jennifer just looks like one of those battered housewives.

I am sure in due time they will get their baby pics on the cover of Us magazine or People or something and get a cool million or more for doing so. I really dig Jennifer, so it kind of irks me that they didn’t release the baby’s name yet. I am sure it will no be as Mowgli or some shit. But it wouldn’t hurt to have ONE Hollywood family that actually thought up a normal name for their baby. Either way, the kid is kind of screwed because any which way you go, the kids last name will still be Affleck. And that shit is just embarrassing.

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Looks like Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck might be heading for a breakup. Apparently because the married couple are not seen together very much the speculation is that they are breaking up. It’s that or, they both have jobs and maybe they’re just gone sometimes during the day. COINCIDENCE??? [ed note: Can you believe that headline? I know, right? I should work for the Post or some shit]

Terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt has come my way. Sources insist to me that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck. Say it ain’t so, baby-cakes! Nevertheless, waiting on comment now from both parties. Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? Perhaps. And certainly, those who know the former Alias star well insist Ben’s mama has never particularly cared for the gal who broke Michael Vartan’s heart to hook up with Benny-Boy in the first place. (E!)

So, is Ben Affleck’s mom a big Alias fan or is she calling Jennifer Garner a whore? Because if my mom called my girl a whore, I’d want to see some proof like some plastic clear high heels, or a lower back tattoo, or her sucking some guy’s cock in front of me. I’m, thorough like that.