Fatback Media » Ashlee Simpson

Ashlee Simpson is Going to Broadway

Tom O — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:46:34 +0000

This is actually some pretty cool news. Ashlee Simpson is going to be starring in the musical Chicago on Broadway as Roxie Hart. I have never been to a musical before but from what I hear they are a ton of fun. There is also the added bonus that the mega hot Ashlee Simpson will be its star.

Of course if Ashlee were to sit in my reading chair and hold my hand and ask me to search my soul for honest career advice and what she should do next, I would have to say to immediately try her hand at porn. Think about it, she would be making way more money than Broadway and she would be the first main stream actress to make the switch. Everyone would be in demand for her vids/pics. I doubt she would take my advice but that is why I am a blogger and not a career counselor.

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Links that are at a crossroads in their career

Britney is still in a bikini- IDLYITW

Paris Hilton is jealous- Allie Is Wired

Christina Ricci is gonna be naked soon- Drunken Stepfather

Leighton Meester is in some S&M gear- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Carrie Prejean will not sell out- notorious news

I am having a Wizard of Oz flashback- IDLYITW

Joanna Krupa is nude in Playboy- Fatback Media (NSFW)

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Ashlee Simpson is Unemployed

Tom O — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:03:27 +0000

It is being reported that Ashlee Simpson has been written out of the Melrose Place script. The producers are swearing up and down that it wasn’t because she was a bad actress but they went ahead and made her character, Violet, disappear anyway. If she was really doing a good job then she would have pulled in ratings and they wouldn’t POSSIBLY write her off the show so you see where this is going.

At the end of the day, 99.9% of men want to fuck Ashlee so they don’t really car if she is on some teeny bopper tv show and are content in just seeing her in the tabloids. Afterall, nipple slips and upskirts don’t come from television shows now do they?

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Links that still have a job

Amanda Seyfried looks even weirder when she is drunk- IDLYITW

Jay Leno interviews Horseface- Geno’s World

Sophie Monk looks like a robot- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Kim Kardashian is mocking you- The Korova Milk Bar

Heidi Montag is a giant bitch- yeeeah

Ali Lohan likes to party- notorious news

Freida Pinto is a hero- IDLYITW

Dita Vo Tees eis vintage- Fatback Media (NSFW)

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Ashlee Simpson Is A Skrawny Booze Hound

Tom O — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 12:04:17 +0000

Ashlee Simpson has kind of a hectic life. She spends almost all of her time locked inside her house with her kid while Pete Wentz travels all over the place partying. With a piece of ass like Ashlee at home, you really have to question his sexuality. If Ashlee Simpson were in my house, you couldn’t get me out of there with a stick of dynamite.

Anyway, a couple of nights ago Ashlee was seen at a club and apparently she was pretty drunk. She was cluching on to a bodyguard and a friend to keep her balance as she moved into the V.I.P. area. Witnesses also commented that she has lost a lot of weight since giving birth six months ago. The thing is, the witnesses made it sound like a bad thing. Chick loses baby fat and gets back to her original hot weight and people critisize her?

Also, they made it seem as though her being drunk and unable to walk was a bad thing. It is not. She stays at home 90% of the time with her kid, if she wants to have onenight out and get shit faced, then let her have some fun. I personally am gonna get into a V.I.P. room one of these days, and when Ashlee Simpson stumbles in and Pete Wentz is in the bathroom somewhere making out with some guy, I am gonna make my move. First seduce her with a cosmopolitan. Then a roofie in her bud light. We will exit from the back door like most celebrities do, and then I will make my entrance into her back door get it? Her back door? Get it?

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Ashlee Simpson Is A House Mom

Tom O — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:27:20 +0000

Pete Wentz is the center of attention these days. Or at least it seems that way since Ashlee is almost nowhere to be found. When you search Ashlee Simpson on paparazzi websites all you get is pictures of Pete Wentz getting his hair colored,getting tattoos and buying skinny jeans. And don’t forget about the guyliner. Yea the guyliner. It seems that Ashlee has been stuck in the house for weeks while Pete goes out and about. It is not like he is out bringing home the bacon either. His band The Fall Out Boyshaven’t released a cd in some time.

The only person from the Simpson camp that had anything to say isn’t even in the united states. Bitch is in Australia. She said, ” This is not true. Everything is fine in their world.” Well you heard it. The chick in Australia says things are all good in Hollywood. I don’t see what the big deal is. I go out and party on a regular basis and leave my wife home to cook and clean. We are really happy. Except when she doesn’t have my cigars and slippers ready when I get home. Then all hell breaks loose. Why can’t women get it through their head that when they don’t make their husbands happy they get the hand. It’s easy, no slippers=the hand.No cigars=the hand. No sports section=the hand. I should really write a How to keep your man happy handbook. It is a lot less painful.

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Links that can cook a mean chicken dinner

Rihanna got some gun tattoos- IDLYITW

Audrina Patridge is in Australia- IBBB

David Beckham is playing football, properly pronounced “soccer” – yeeeah

Madonna is adopting another baby- Holy Moly

Britney Spears is moving to New Jersey…for now- Allie Is Wired

Anna Faris has bigger boobs in Arena- Drunken Stepfather

J-Love in Mexico part 2- IDLYITW

Sean Penn and Natalie Portman take themselves WAY to seriously- Celeb News Wire

Zac Efron Doesn’t fuck Vanessa Anne Hudgens. Vanessa Anne Hudgens fucks Zac efron.- I Don’t Want Your Life

Some fugly chick from CSI is divorcing her husband- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Who doesn’t belong with the others? – Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Where The Wild Things Are trailer- popbytes

Lindsay lohan is a giant failure!- notorious news

Halle Berry gives Jay Leno a smell test- Geno’s World

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Ashlee Simpson Is Desperate For Work

Tom O — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:04:42 +0000

It lookmpson,s like the EW is just as desperate as Ashlee Simpson. Since their ratings are basically in the toilet they are reinstating Melrose Place. Seeing as that show hasn’t been around for almost 10 years and the most famous person on it was Heather Locklier, I doubt this will take of. To try to drum up publicity they will be casting Ashlee Simpson as one of the main characters. She will be playing a girl named Violet which according to Ew.com is a naive girl but in reality she is a sex kitten. Hot.

Now that she is on the cast, people are speculating on whether or not Pete Wentz will have a cameo. I never thought I would see the day that someone was a bigger attention whore than Ashlee Simpson but rumors are already circulating about when Pete Wentz will make a cameo. I am guessing week two. It is also pretty obvious that Pete likes the camera more than Ashlee when you search Ashlee Simpson in the Splash photos archive and the first 3 pages are pictures of Pete Wentz. My predictions? A lot of hot bikini pictures of Simpson on the show and maybe even a sexy lingerie seduction with another male co star. I can dream can’t I?

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Ashlee Simpson Is Pissed

Tom O — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:45:04 +0000

A lot of people these days seem to be criticizing, especially me, Jessica Simpson’s weight. Just recently Jessica performed at some country squire concert and when she did, she looked a bit plump. I am almost positive that it was the outfit she was wearing that made her look bigger but that will not stop me from making fun of her. I mean where the hell does she get off anyway? Being a huge pop star and then when your albums don’t sell break into country music? The bitch is retarded.

But this post isn’t onlyabout Jessica Simpson. It is also about Ashlee Simpson taking to her website and saying that the media shouldn’t criticize people like her sister because everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and it doesn’t matter what you look like. It is who you are on the inside. Is that the reason Ashlee constantly dyes her hair and got a nose job? Because what matter after all is in the inside right Ashlee? Fucking hypocrite. Either way, Jessica could pack on 20 pounds and Ashlee could re-break her nose 6 different ways and I would still bang em’. So I started this post a little ticked off and now I am just horny. Happens to me all the time. More pictures of Jessica’s big dumper after the post.

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Ashlee Simpson Breast Milk…Yum!

Tom O — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:52:18 +0000

I have to hand it to Pete Wentz. I figured that he was just another douche bag that liked to keep his sex life private. Then he goes on Howard Stern and talks about how Ashlee Simpson likes to take it up the ass! What a guy. This is almost as cool as the pics of Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens shopping in a porn shop. Now Wentz is talking about how he tried Ashlee Simpson’s breast milk. Who wouldn’t?

He describes the taste as “soury” and “weird.” OK so maybe Pete doesn’t like Ashlee’s breast milk. But I still might. Let be get ahold of those titties and I will give you my culinary opinion. My pallet is rather refined. Though maybe not so much for breast milk, but if it is coming out of Ashlee Simpson’s body, it has to taste good. In the upcoming weeks Ashlee will describe how Pete Wentz’s semen tastes and Jessica Simpson will tell how good it feels to be a virgin.

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Christmas Eve links

The Hills season finale- IBBB

Amy Winehouse dancing topless- Drunken Stepfather

Lindsay Lohan has a new sister- Allie Is Wired

Jodie Marsh. I can’t get enough of her- d-listed

Amy Winehouse, not dancing topless- The Bastardly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Zac Efron is scared of the paparazzi- Geno’s World

The grossest Christmas pic you will see all year- I Don’t Want Your Life

Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin hate each other. How funny, I hate them too! -yeeeah

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Ashlee Simpson Has An Ugly Baby

Tom O — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:56:22 +0000

It is customary that when a hot Hollywood couple has a baby they whore the kid out to as many media magazines as possible. In this case it is Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s kid and so far there are no taker. No one wants to see their little Mowgli. Bad name right? So far Ashlee has contacted “every” news outlet and none of them want to give the couple money for the first exclusive shots of their new baby. which leads me to one conclusion, the baby is butt ugly.

It is being said by Page Six that the magazine covers that feature Simpson, Wentz or Simpson and Wentz tend not to sell well. Why would that be? Ashlee is very attractive and Pete Wentz has a lot of killer tattoos. I guess you don’t see them featured in tabloid mags mainly because Ashlee is famous for being famous. Her music career is in the toilet and her videos are awful that may only be contended with the likes of Heidi Montag. Pete has a successful band but he doesn’t have any “look at me” quality to him. It kind of makes you wonder why Ashlee is famous at all. I feel sorry for the poor folks, so if some pictures surface of Mowgli I will post them here. He can’t be any uglier than his name.

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Ashlee Simpson: No Longer Preggers

Tom O — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:01:00 +0000

OK. So she doesn’t go out clubbing every night and the paparazzi don’t snap exclusive pictures of Ashlee Simpson passing out drunk in SUV’s but Ashlee Simpson is still interesting. Right? Apparently, with Ashlee eating lemons and “bouncing off the walls” in an attempt to induce labor, it finally worked. Yesterday Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed their first baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz to the world.

I am sure when the baby first arrived Ashlee was exhausted from labor and Pete had guyliner running down his face because of the tears. By the way, what the fuck is up with the weird name? I understand a name like Bronx, this is an attempt to make the baby sound more like an Angelina Jolie baby. Apparently people like Ashlee and Pete had normal names in grade school so they have no idea what it is like to be made fun of for having a weird name. Bronx Mowgli Wentz. B.M.W. What snobs.

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KABANG Ashlee Simpson!

fatback — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:34:36 +0000

God. Damn.

Ashlee Simpson’s rack has gone from great to awesome now that she’s eating for two. I figure she has about 3 more weeks of complete hotness before the grossness sets in and we have to write her off till Christmas. I’m not saying that pregnant girls are gross. Wait, yes I am totally saying that.