Posts tagged Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie Not Pregnant. Just crazy.
Nov 26th
First she is pregnant. And then she isn’t. Both stories coming straight out of the pie hole of Us magazine. If they are gonna go with a story then go with the story. Don’t back track and tell people “sorry. We are retards.” The rumors started floating this time around because a waiter, apparently, asked Angelina if she wanted some wine and she, apparently, refused and said she was pregnant. But that was all a work of fiction according to Us now.
To add fuel to the fire rumors, sources were speculating that Angelina moved the production of her new movie Edwin A. Salt up because she didn’t want to show a baby bump in the flick. Is it me, or are people genuinely disgusted and bored with pregnancy rumors. Especially the ones surrounding Angelina Jolie. They already have six kids. Brad said this to Oprah Winfrey, ” It’s the greatest endeavor I’ve ever taken on. Why stop now?” Maybe because having kids isn’t an endeavor. It’s serious business. Anyway if Brad Pitt isn’t tired of having all the ankle biters around him 24/7, give him time.
Angelina Jolie Needs To Grow Up
Nov 4th
In the most recent issue of Harper’s Bazaar Angelina Jolie says that inside she is still a “punk kid with tattoos.” Newsflash Angie, you are a mother of six. That means you have six little children nibbling at your toes for food on a daily basis. She is basically saying that she is still young at heart to make up for all the wrinkles people are starting to see in pics of Angelina Jolie. She goes on to tell the magazine…
“Listen, my kids play video games. I let them play with toy soldiers. we don’t take war and violence lightly, but we don’t hide it from anybody,” she says. “We say,’ Mommy and Daddy have movies where we play these characters, but there’s real death and violence in the world.” Wow, way to cheer a kid up Ang. If Angelina Jolie were my mother I would disown her. First get done with the breastfeeding stage and then disown her.
She just takes shit too seriously. She is a bleeding heart basically. When you have over $400 million in your joint bank account then it makes sense to call in one of those needy children infomercials and donate a few bucks. But when you drag your kids to 3rd world countries and usually coming back with more kids than you left with, you may have a problem.
BBQ links
Vote for Heidi’s fakest feature- IBBB
Suri hates Halloween- Allie Is Wired
Kate Winslet got sexier- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Jessica Biel regrets getting naked. I don’t- IDLYITW
Jessica Alba sucks at Halloween- notorious news
Avril Lavigne is a terrible spokes model- Drunken Stepfather
Adriana Lima’s breasts- City Rag
Behind the scenes for that Kate Winslet photo shoot- Geno’s World
Oh yea and go out and vote- popbytes
Angelina Jolie May Cut Her Film Career Short
Oct 23rd
Saint Angelina has bitten off more than she could chew. With six kids, 3 biological and 3 adopted, she said it may be time to give her career the shank. She tells Italian Vanity Fair,”The kids are my priority, so its possible that from now on I will make fewer movies. I may even stop altogether.” She goes on to say that she doesn’t have the same abition she had in her 20′s. Maybe that’s because she has more money than God. That could have something to do with it.
For the life of me I do not know what makes this woman tick. I warned people since last year that if Angelina comes to your little country and you are a little kid, you should stay as far away as possible. Eating uncooked rice off the ground and wrapping ripped up t-shirts around your feet for makeshift shoes may seem bad now but Angelina will kidnap you and bring you into a life of superficial material possesions and cavallier ignorance for the poor. And if you do get adopted don’t think you will be able to suck on her ta-tas. Those are for her American kids. Her biological kids. Her REAL kids. Doesn’t sound good anymore does it?
Angelina Jolie really likes drugs
May 1st
A videotape of Angelina doing mounds of drugs back in the 90′s is reportedly being shopped around to the highest bidder.
A source tells the National Enquirer the tape shows Jolie, before she was famous, taking drugs with friends.
The actress has admitted using hard drugs in the past. She once said, “I’ve done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD everything. I hate heroin because I’ve been fascinated with it. I’m not immune, but I won’t do it now, at all.” However, video proof could damage her career and reputation as a charity campaigner.
“The key part of the tape is Angelina doing heroin. She says, ‘Wow, this is really good smack – not that cheap crap that’s been stepped on.’ Angelina is seen sniffing white lines from a plate, and then as the drug cooks on tinfoil, she deeply sucks in its smoke through a tube.” (Starpulse)
To be fair, drugs are actually pretty cool. I mean, all the cool kids do them, they make you feel good and sometimes they even get you laid. So all in all, I’d say that Sgt. McGruff is just a dick. What the fuck does he know? He’s a dog for God’s sake. In a trench coat.
