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Amy Winehouse is doing just about anything possible to keep her ass out of the clink. Even though a little bit of jail time might do the girl some good. The person in question is Sherene Flash. She is claiming that Amy assaulted her. With a name like Flash I am surprised she didn’t just upper cut Amy and run off at the speed of lightning. But you can’t judge a book by its cover.

Amy is due to come back to court in July, leaving her to smoke as much crack and shoot as much smack as she can before they finally put her behind bars. I used to be cynical and think that if you are famous it is not likely that you will go to jail, but ever since 2007 my views have changed dramatically. So we will see if this pans out. I am not sure how the courts work on the other side of the pond, but if it is anything like Hollywood, then we should be getting daily updates about her time in the pokey kind of like how TMZ did with the Paris Hilton incarceration.

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Amy Winehouse has returned from St.Lucia and apparently she is drug free. I will take that with a huge grain of salt. She is attempting to stage a comeback kind of like Britney Spears but she is not going to be performing in the U.S. anytime soon. She has an open warrant for her arrest, or whatever the fuck you call a warrant overseas, for assault. Because of this she can not be granted a temporary work visa and therefore will not be performing at the Coachella festival in California.

The good thing that has come of all of this is the bee hive weave. Oh how I missed the bee hive weave. I don’t think she has any new songs to promote so this would be a comeback comeback. It would just be a hey look at me I am sober thing. We’ll see where this leads but the fact that our borders are safely guarded from crack fiends and train wrecks makes me feel very safe and warm.

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Links that are American citizens

Miss Universe is in a bikini- IDLYITW

Kevin Bacon is boys with ZZ Top- Holy Moly

Bree Olsen is taking a shit. No that is not one of the Olsen twins- Drunken Stepfather

Vanessa Anne Hudgens ::drool:: – I Don’t Want Your Life

Kim Kardashian looks fat. And I am sure she will blog about that this week- yeeeah

Coolio is a crack head- Celeb News Wire

Jessica Biel is Jessica Rabbit- IDLYITW

Britney Spears is flexible- Allie Is Wired

Paris Hilton spreads her crabs to another beau- popbytes

Rihanna is back in the studio- Geno’s World

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kingston Rossdale is already a playa- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Hayden Panettiere is a bitch- notorious news

On Thursdseay morning at 4 a.m. the London police were called to Amy Winehouse’s apartment. She was not there. She was still in the caribbean where she is roaming around topless making people sick to their stomach around the world. According to People the only things that were taken can all be replaced including 2 guitars and a few pieces of recording equipment. Usually when a celebrity gets robbed I get all giddy and think about all the hot nude pics and possible sex tape that might hit the internet. This time not so much.

I am sure Amy won’t have a problem replacing what was stolen since she is saving money in the caribbean by stealing drinks instead of paying for them, and apparently she has given up crack so she has a huge amount of money in her budget that she doesn’t quite know how to spend yet. It kind of surprised me that she actually still has musical equipment in her place, I figured that would have been pawned a long time ago for drug money. I am sure even an event like this would not bring her back to London. She will stay in the caribbean on “vacation” a.k.a. rehab and only come back when she has rid herself from all poisons. Then she will…she will… what does she do again? Oh yea, she makes music. I have yet to hear an Amy Winehouse song but I will take the paparazzi’s word for it.

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