Posts tagged American Idol
Bikini Girl Returns To American Idol
May 21st
Bikini girl, a.k.a. Katrina Darrell returned to American Idol last night and showed off her killer breast implants. Maybe I am an old fashioned kind of guy but I think she looked amazing without breast implants, but bigger is always better. She won some sort of award for being annoying or some shit. Also during her first meeting with the judges she told Kara DioGuardi that her version of the song she was singing wasn’t any better than the version she had just sang.
Kara’s old skanky ass didn’t like this and took revennge on bikini girl by interrupting Katrina’s performance and singing the song over bikini girl. And then the grossest thing in American Idolhistory occurred. Kara ripped open her dress to reveal she was wearing a bikini underneath. She had a wrinkled belly like Tara Reid and of course she has pretty boring breasts. It was like seeing Ellen DeGeneres in a bikini. It is just not a thing men want to see. I puked a little bit, but regained my composure in time to see Kris Allen win it all.
Carrie Underwood Is Going To Perform On The Season Finale Of American Idol
May 15th
This is no surprise. Every year American Idol pulls out all the stops for the two part season finale and brings in former American Idol winners to sing the farewell ballad of the season. It has been that way since forever except for last year when they had a runner-up instead of the winner, Chris Daughtry, who sucks, sing a song called “Home”.
The song Carrie will sing is Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home”. I am not a fan of Underwood, but I am looking forward to her singing the line ” I had to run away high, so I wouldn’t come home low”. I like this cause Carrie doesn’t get high and I find it funny for goody goody’s to sing about drugs and getting high. Maybe she will actually “perform” this year and move around on the stage and actually do some choreography.
Yea, I know, she won’t. But I can hope for a skanky outfit can’t I? Yea, I know, she won’t. In fact the only reason I will tune into American Idol at all this year is to see one person’s dreams get crushed and see another wanna-be celeb try to make it in the music world. I am sure after Adam Lambert wins this season he will finally come out of the closet and parents worldwide will ban their kids from listening to his music. I won’t be listening either, not cause he is gay, I like gay people, it is because he sucks and he doesn’t have the balls to say “yea, I’m a homo”.
[ Image via ]
Links that have already won
Parade of whores- IDLYITW
Hayden Panettiere and her cute little butt- Drunken Stepfather
Megan Fox is bi, then she’s straight, then she’s bi, then she’s straight- Amy Grindhouse
Are more kids on the way for TomKat?- Allie Is Wired
Jessica Biel is one tough bitch- I Don’t Want Your Life
Jennifer Hudson needs to lose some weight- yeeeah
John Mayer is smooth- IDLYITW
Angelina Jolie likes In Touch Weekly magazine- Celeb News Wire
Check out Jennifer Lopez in The Back-Up Plan - Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Kerry Katona is drug free- Holy Moly
Behind the scenes of Katy Perry’s kickass new music video “Waking up in Vegas”- Geno’s World
Tori Amos’ Sinful Attraction tour- popbytes
Brooke Sheilds has curves. And wrinkles. Yea mostly wrinkles- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
TomKat will have in vitro- notorious news
Thank God It’s Over
May 22nd
The American Idol finale was last night and like you, I was glued to my set. OMG can you believe David won? Hahahaha. Not really, dumbass. See you thought we were going to be friends just now. And we could IM about what Syesha wore last week and which David was going to win and we’d giggle and LOL. And you’d tell me about that time in middle school when you did something inappropriate with your My Little Pony because you had strange feelings. And then afterward, it was awkward and it just felt weird to have My Little Pony hanging out with the rest of your dolls, because you know, now she was damaged goods and Malibu Barbie called her a whore and you know what bitch she can be.
David Cook wins! Hurray for America!
Kristy Lee Cook: White Trash Moment of the Week
May 14th
Idol Finalist and Fatback Media country fried fave, Kristy Lee Cook had herself a diva moment in her hometown of Grants Pass, OR this week when she called a local salon to get a mani-pedi. Except not.
Kristy asked to be ushered in through the back door to avoid the crowds of adoring fans. Only problem, there weren’t any! No one at the salon had even heard of her. Needless to say, Cook walked in unharmed by the swarm of no one and got her nails and feet did. It’s hard being famous y’all! (TMZ)
Here, here. Maybe if she was little more racy, she would have been remembered. Take Katharine McPhee. Can we name 1 song she sang on American Idol? No. We remember tits & ass and yellow dresses. You have to push the envelope, baby. Actually, take the envelope run it through the shredder. Nude. Then you’ll be on the right track. Maybe she could have been the foul mouthed country girl who could change a truck tire and always had a dirty joke handy. Like these:
- What do you get when you accidentally run over a 4 year old? An erection.
- Wow, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth except my father’s dick.
Comedy. Gold. I have to give credit where filthy credit is due. The first joke is by my man Quist-gon-jin, and the second is from a collection by JGA. Remember Kristy, nobody remembers the stuck up country princess, but they do remember the country whore.
