Irish Rock singer Bono and his chum Simon Carmody (of Golden Horde) took time off in the French Riveira this week to reflect on their charity work, take in the sites and even squeezed in time to  bang a few teenage girls. The girls were discreet enough to keep it to themselves and only the 350 million other people on Facebook. I love teenagers!

The Irishmen met up with two 19-year-olds, American fashion student Andrea Feick and her British friend Hannah Emerson, in the playboys’ playground of St Tropez.

Miss Feick told The Mail on Sunday she had known Bono for a few years but insisted their relationship had never crossed the line beyond friendship.

She said: ‘I think that for somebody who’s much older than I am… no thank you.

‘No…God no!’ she laughed. ‘God no! He’s a friend of mine and that’s pretty much it. I’m not going to get into details, but it’s a small world.’

Miss Feick excitedly announced the trip in one public message [on Facebook] to her friend, saying: ‘So Bono and Simon called me yesterday and they arrived in Cannes today, so looks like we’ll have a plan! :) ’ (Daily Mail)

It’s nice to see that Bono can still get some premium ass even at his old age. It really makes you feel good for all the other old, disgustingly rich, narcissistic assholes of the world. You know they need love too! Nineteen year old  Andrea never really comes out and says she has a relationship with Bono, but let’s take a look at the subtext… If you’ll notice Andrea signed off her Facebook comment with the :) emoticon -  which means “smiley face!” or “I’m happy!” or “I fucked Bono!”. So yeah, she’s probably just buds with him.