NSFW – Fatback Media

Jolene Blalock is hotter than a phaser set to stun. And she’s stunning the shit out of me with those nipples. I love art. And these nearly nude photos of a dripping wet Jolene Blalock are black and white which means they officially art. Which means your boss can’t fire you for looking at them at work. Unless your pants are around your ankles.

Doutzen Kroes is exactly what I like in a supermodel. She’s young, unbelievably beautiful and that’s about that. I’m not very picky with my supermodels of course, they just need to be nude a lot and have a healthy appetite for cigarettes and coke – and lots of fuckin’. That may sound sexist and chauvinistic to you but, well actually it is, you judgmental whore. Now get back in the kitchen and cook me a turkey pot pie.

So yeah these are old but still awesome naked pictures of Ashley Massaro the awesomely nude wrestler. I’ve never seen her on tv, but I assume she’s usually showing her thong and wearing ironic  librarian’s glasses as she breaks a chair over some bloody, beefed up bastard in a speedo and steroid rage to spare. Welcome to America, where our reality tv is not real, just like our tits and carefully mown pubic hair. Hurrah!

I don’t know about you yanks, but we Brits love Thanksgiving. It gives us time to reflect on how we lost our colonies to a bunch of religious fanatics who were glad to be well rid of. So while you’re swilling American beer and frying turkeys (gasp!), I’ll be drinking pink gins and masturbating to Sophie Howard, old bean. Unless she decides to pop over to my flat and get the real thing from the source. Cheerio!