This is Sophie Howard and her topless friend hanging out at the beach, topless. With no shirts. This is what Page 3 girls do in their spare time. They just hang out and wait for the next nude photoshoot with their naked best friends. And really,a naked friend with giant tits is the best friend of all. It’s in the bible.

I don’t know about you yanks, but we Brits love Thanksgiving. It gives us time to reflect on how we lost our colonies to a bunch of religious fanatics who were glad to be well rid of. So while you’re swilling American beer and frying turkeys (gasp!), I’ll be drinking pink gins and masturbating to Sophie Howard, old bean. Unless she decides to pop over to my flat and get the real thing from the source. Cheerio!