NSFW – Fatback Media

Super hot Scarlett Johansson was honored with Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” Award and she will grace the pages of the upcoming mid-October issue of the fashion magazine. The magazine decided to take a different approach with the photo-shoot and go for a decidely non-glamorous look.

On the cover, she wears a bra and a white Calvin Klein mini-dress; In a series of photos inside (showing her as an “enigmatic trailer-park temptress,” the magazine says), she wears cleavage-baring black lingerie paired with an open white robe, among other get-ups. (source)

The subject was purposely obfuscated in these pictures because Esquire was running a “who is she?” campaign at Esquire.com in order to generate buzz for the issue. First of all, I think my penis speaks for for everyone when I say that we called that one from the start. I’m rarely ever wrong about a great rack or a great ass. Although, there was that tall chick with the big adam’s apple at that Mexican Cowboy bar in San Jose. Turns out Juan is NOT a nickname for Juanita. Tequila is anti-bacterial, right?

Scarlett Johansson recently told Life & Style Magazine that she likes her womanly curves and doesn’t aspire to be ridiculously skinny like other girls in Hollywood; even going so far as to admit that she doesn’t always watch what she eats (like Snickers bars) to keep her figure.

“I’m curvy – I’m never going to be 5′ 11″ and 120 pounds,” she says. “But I feel lucky to have what I’ve got.”

The 21-year-old Black Dahlia star says her favorite indulgence is a slice of veggie pizza and a Diet Coke or a wedge of homemade key lime pie (she loves baking). A typical dinner is Chinese takeout: “A little white rice, a little chicken, some egg drop soup …”
(source)

It’s really refreshing to see such a naturally beautiful woman have that attitude and feel comfortable with her body the way Scarlett does. Of course it’s easy to not exercise and eat like shit when you’re 21 and look like you were carved from Italian marble. Unfortunately, there’s something that Scarlett doesn’t know about yet. It’s called turning 25. At 25, all that shit you’ve been eating starts to hang around and get comfortable on places like your ass and your thighs and pretty soon those stretch pants don’t seem like such a good idea. And all the tantric sex in the world won’t do a god damn thing. Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale realized this early and that’s why they work every day to be fit, yet maintain their curves. I’m not saying that Scarlett needs to start working out, I’m saying that I only date girls who are under 25. Call me ladies.

Scarlett Johansson’s ex-boyfriend Jack Antonoff is not happy with her and he has immortalized this in a new song by his band The Steel Train. The song reportedly mentions Scarlett by name.

The Steel Train singer accuses the lost in Translation beauty her of letting fame go to her head.

He even names her in the song Better Love: “This girl had it kinda sweet / Till fame swept her off her feet / She sees nothing she did before / Hey, Scarlett, you’re not the same.” (source)

That Jack Antonoff is wickedly manly. He really showed her. Writing a song about the girl who dumped you in order to get her back or make her pay is about the most flaccid, unrealistic way to get a girl back. It has no passion. It has no flair. I prefer to kidnap her family as a show of my undying devotion. See! See how much I love you? Once they’re all taped up they can’t laugh at you for wearing her dresses anymore. Who’s laughing now, dad?

TMZ is reporting that Scarlett Johannson was named the #1 in FHM’s Top 100 Sexiest Women in the World reader poll. I don’t ever read magazines like FHM, Blender, Stuff, etc because of their insane policy of Photoshopping the nipples out of the photos. I like my models airbrushed yet fully anatomically correct – just like at my sex parties.

FHM has announced a list of the “100 Sexiest Women in the World” for 2006 according to their readers. This year’s big-screen siren, Scarlett Johansson, tops the list. Other hotties on the podium include Angelina Jolie, coming in second place, and Jessica Alba, who ranked third. Next in line is Jessica Simpson, followed respectively by Keira Knightley, Halle Berry, Jenny McCarthy, Maria Sharapova, Carmen Electra, and Teri Hatcher.(source)

Although, most of the ladies mentioned above have made into one or more of my screenplays, I think the list is a mess as is its message. All women are sexy, in their own way. The sexiest woman in the world should be judged on her personality, her intellect and her contribution to society, oh and her huge rack.