NSFW – Fatback Media

Ashley Tisdale nipple slip folks. Plain as day. Two things.

1. I have no idea who this is.
2. She is 22 according to IMDB so this post is perv free.

Apparently, Ashley Tisdale is famous on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel or something like that. If I had known Disney had hot chicks who show their tits at red carpet events I would have started watching a long time ago. Wait. Scratch that. This chick is confusing. She’s one of those actresses who is really legal, but looks young and always plays jail bait rolls. Like the strippers at that new club in my town. But you know, when I think about it, maybe City High doesn’t mean what I thought it meant.

Quitters never win. Winners never quit…

While most of you were asleep Friday night, quietly dreaming of a 3 day weekend at the community pool eating BBQ chicken with your fingers and spraying fake tanner on your muffin tops, Lindsay Lohan was keeping it real and proving she’s no quitter by crashing her car at 3:30 am, drunk and holding what cops are calling a “usable amount of cocaine”.

Police tell TMZ that 20-year-old Lohan and two other adults were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible when she lost control and crashed into a curb and trees in Beverly Hills around 5:30 AM. After the crash, police say LiLo got into another car and was driven to Century City Hospital where she was treated for minor injuries that involved “something to her upper chest area.” Police said the two other people in her car were not hurt.

…She was cited and released and will have to face a judge. (source)

I think it’s fitting that this is a holiday weekend, because true heroes like Lindsay Lohan don’t normally get the attention they deserve. For instance, losers like you and me would get thrown in jail for 18 hours and eventually serve time for DUI and possession, but the goodly laws of LA say that if you’re a rich snot nose drunken drug user and you crash a car you can go home and sleep it off – like the special, special person that you are. You’ve got to admire her ability to stay on task as a coke whore – even in the face of those meanies at rehab, the tabloids, the American public, established social mores, a system of codified laws and legal standards and personal health issues. It’s about sacrifice. Lindsay Lohan. You are my hero.

Because it’s Memorial Day, I decided to post a retrospective pictorial journey through Lindsay Lohan’s finest NSFW moments for your patriotic perusal.

Emmanuelle Chriqui (sounds like shreeky, which rhymes with freaky-deakey!) is one of those girls who always seems to be asking me to to crawl inside her blouse and curl up like a little kitty and spoon her till I fall asleep. She’s all kinds of ethnic, usually plays a lesbian and she’s often wont of a gentle zephyr to delicately waft across her bosom. Which is why I love her so. And she’s has a nice rack. Here are some pics of her at the Entourage Premier and one extra niptastic slip from a while back. Pic 1 is the money shot.

I’m not sure how old these are ( I think they’re from the Dirrrty video), but it’s Christina Aguilera. And that’s her nipple right there with a ring in it. Nipples + nipple ring = news. Just ask Bob Woodward. I’m having the scientists down at the lab on my skull shaped island hideout analyze these for authenticity. I have a white apron and a pair of tongs so I’m going to do some investigating of my own. I’ll get to the bottom of this mystery. Just like when Sally Kimball and I solved the Case of The Round Square.