NSFW - Fatback Media

Whitney Port’s full on boobie at The IVY in LA. Whitney Port is on The Hills, which apparently is a show on a TV. From what I gathered from my team of sexy (legal!) teenaged interns, it’s a show about snotty rich bitches and their fake real life events. I remember Audrina Patridge showing her tits a while back and now this chick is airing hers out. I like how her tit is out the whole time and she not only doesn’t notice but continues to chew a mouth full of food, and the level of artichoke leaves on her plate never changes. MAGIC!

Ashley Tisdale nipple slip folks. Plain as day. Two things.

1. I have no idea who this is.
2. She is 22 according to IMDB so this post is perv free.

Apparently, Ashley Tisdale is famous on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel or something like that. If I had known Disney had hot chicks who show their tits at red carpet events I would have started watching a long time ago. Wait. Scratch that. This chick is confusing. She’s one of those actresses who is really legal, but looks young and always plays jail bait rolls. Like the strippers at that new club in my town. But you know, when I think about it, maybe City High doesn’t mean what I thought it meant.

Quitters never win. Winners never quit…

While most of you were asleep Friday night, quietly dreaming of a 3 day weekend at the community pool eating BBQ chicken with your fingers and spraying fake tanner on your muffin tops, Lindsay Lohan was keeping it real and proving she’s no quitter by crashing her car at 3:30 am, drunk and holding what cops are calling a “usable amount of cocaine”.

Police tell TMZ that 20-year-old Lohan and two other adults were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible when she lost control and crashed into a curb and trees in Beverly Hills around 5:30 AM. After the crash, police say LiLo got into another car and was driven to Century City Hospital where she was treated for minor injuries that involved “something to her upper chest area.” Police said the two other people in her car were not hurt.

…She was cited and released and will have to face a judge. (source)

I think it’s fitting that this is a holiday weekend, because true heroes like Lindsay Lohan don’t normally get the attention they deserve. For instance, losers like you and me would get thrown in jail for 18 hours and eventually serve time for DUI and possession, but the goodly laws of LA say that if you’re a rich snot nose drunken drug user and you crash a car you can go home and sleep it off - like the special, special person that you are. You’ve got to admire her ability to stay on task as a coke whore - even in the face of those meanies at rehab, the tabloids, the American public, established social mores, a system of codified laws and legal standards and personal health issues. It’s about sacrifice. Lindsay Lohan. You are my hero.

Because it’s Memorial Day, I decided to post a retrospective pictorial journey through Lindsay Lohan’s finest NSFW moments for your patriotic perusal.

Emmanuelle Chriqui (sounds like shreeky, which rhymes with freaky-deakey!) is one of those girls who always seems to be asking me to to crawl inside her blouse and curl up like a little kitty and spoon her till I fall asleep. She’s all kinds of ethnic, usually plays a lesbian and she’s often wont of a gentle zephyr to delicately waft across her bosom. Which is why I love her so. And she’s has a nice rack. Here are some pics of her at the Entourage Premier and one extra niptastic slip from a while back. Pic 1 is the money shot.

I’m not sure how old these are ( I think they’re from the Dirrrty video), but it’s Christina Aguilera. And that’s her nipple right there with a ring in it. Nipples + nipple ring = news. Just ask Bob Woodward. I’m having the scientists down at the lab on my skull shaped island hideout analyze these for authenticity. I have a white apron and a pair of tongs so I’m going to do some investigating of my own. I’ll get to the bottom of this mystery. Just like when Sally Kimball and I solved the Case of The Round Square.

Dominique Swain has been on my list since she played Lolita which doesn’t make me a perv since she was 17 at the time and I was still dating high school girls anyway. These are some pictures of Dominique Swain at the recent XBox 360 launch party. If you look carefully you can see a nip-slip in a few of these images. I’m sure this isn’t going to get me back into Netscape’s good graces, since they recently banned my site as pornography. Although I am an avid watcher, participant and full time director of amateur pornography this site is obviously not pornography. For instance, these links, which are NSFA Not Safe for ANYWHERE, like this, this, this, this, are pornography so don’t click them. Ever. Not my site, though. I’m just NSFW. I’m practically in heaven already. So enjoy the rest of this non-porn post. Bless you’re heart!

Lindsay Lohan is wearing a see-through top with her nipples showing. First she gave us the shaved crabtrap and now these. Not much else to say about it except, I don’t know how old these are and I don’t know how real they are. It’s my job to bring you the big scoops kids, not pussyfoot around with correct source citations and authenticity. They didn’t ask Bob Woodward about citations and truth did they? Well, technically yes, but he didn’t have Lindsay Lohan’s nipples, did he?
Oh, Lindsay Lohan is about to take some time off to study other cultures and travel to expand her mind and experiences and blah blah blah.

“I might take a vacation – take a year off,” said Lohan recently, according to MSNBC. “I want to travel and learn more about other cultures. The more I’ve grown up, the more I want to do that.” So says the actress, all of 20 years old. (source)