NSFW – Fatback Media

Lindsay Lohan and non nude nipples with a book. Wow. These pictures are 6 months old for all I know. My research department is a crack whore. I run a tight ship. Except when I just don’t give a shit. Which is mostly. Anyway. Here’s Lindsay Lohan looking a bit chilly and doing everything she can to let us know that a) she’s reading a book and b) that the book is by Felicity Huffman and it’s entitled A PRACTICAL HANDBOOK FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND!. How witty she is! Insert tongue firmly in cheek! My stars.

Here’s a snippet from this literary masterpiece;

At some point, every guy — player, geek, mama’s boy, “regular Joe” — meets a woman who makes him want to be a boyfriend. A good boyfriend. Problem is, unless heâ’s had some first-rate training (by a previous girlfriend, a sister, a mom), he probably doesn’t even know what that means. (source)

Wait. I know. That sounds like something a chick would say. Or an effeminate pansy, 45 year old who brushes his mama’s hair and lives in her basement. Oh, but wait it was on this ruggedly handsome piece of manmeat’s Amazon list. So it must be HOTT! (note the two T’s… that’s for extra hot)

“My mother is going to LOVE you”

Whew. I think the temperature is rising ladies. More of Lindsay Lohan’s nipples, where unlike here, the temperature was obviously a little chilly. ZING! Pulitzer, here I come.

I’m pretty hungry most of the time, so I write about about food a lot. I’m also a horn dog so I write about boobies a lot too. Although I love them both, I’m not one of those dudes who likes to combine two awesome things because I think there will be a synergy between them and make the awesomeness even more awesomer. Those people are called pervs. I like food and I like sex, but never the twain shall meet. And don’t try to convince me otherwise, you Jeffrey Dahmer motherfucker.

Speaking of fucked up events it looks like Lindsay Lohan’s mother really fucked up the red carpet interviews for the premier of Georgia Rule (coming to a Blockbuster near you in 3 weeks). Apparently Jane Fonda was pissed and called Dina Lohan an overbearing whore and stabbed her in the neck with a pencil. That could’ve been a dream because I’m on Atkins and I think my ketones are all fucked up. I know that picture is old up there but I wanted to remind the world that I have Photoshop. Call me, eLance!

Links.

• Amanda Harrington and her rack hang out in a bikini. (DS)
• Angelina Jolie on a Japanese commercial that I think may qualify as porn. (Allie)
• Paris Hilton. Felon. Still breaking the rules like a rich, entitled brat. Fuck her. (Jordan)
• Jessica Stam shows a little ass crack. (Bastardly)
• There’s a girl from your school showing her boobies. (CH)
• Kelly Clarkson has some J in the GD T. (Yeeeah)
• Beyonce is scared of candy. Because candy is for fatties. True story. (INO)
• Keeley Hazell because…well, because. (Hollywood Tuna)
• Paris Hilton tries to reason with the governor of CA. “It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.” (DJM)

These are supposedly pictures of Lindsay Lohan doing coke in a bathroom with a friend just days after leaving a rehab facility for substance abuse. In all fairness the girl might not be doing coke in the top image there, she might just really like the smell of Lindsay Lohan’s pinky finger. The pictures are screen caps from a cell phone video taken by one of Lindsay’s “concerned friends”.

“That night I saw her do more than 20 big lines of cocaine. She was still up doing drugs at 11am even though she had started about 8pm the night before.

“She wasn’t even trying to hide it and was blatantly doing it off table tops, keys, books and in the wardrobe, where she was hunched over with her legs crossed almost bent in half doing it off some magazine on the floor.

“I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become.

“When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her.

“I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone.

“Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out.

“One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat.” (source)

I’m no photo surveillance expert so I can’t really tell you what’s going on these pictures, but it sure looks like some chicks (one of whom is Lindsay Lohan) are doing bumps of coke. The other chick, who looks like a coke whore, looks pretty hot; but that may just be because I think that coke whores are hot. The moral of the story? Don’t do drugs. Unless they make you show your boobies and become a full on whore who’ll sleep with anything. Stay in school!

More Lindsay Lohan having a coke and a smile after the jump.

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Lindsay Lohan is apparently not taking well to rehab at the Wonderland Rehabilitation facility in LA where she entered into a program for “addictions” earlier this month. Us Weekly got glimpse of a text message that she sent to Brody Jenner from the inside.

We’ve eye-balled one particularly flirtatious sext-message that Lohan sent Jenner – former flame of Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie and Lauren Conrad – last Saturday night in which the 12-stepper, among other requests, texted that all she wanted was “McDonald’s and sex.” (source)

Wait? She’s in rehab? I thought she was coming and going as she pleases, eating what she wants , doing drugs and drinking straight vodka at dance parties. That’s only rehab if you’re the Zodiac killer.