I have two things to say about these pictures of Kristin Cavallari and it is exactly this:

1. God
2. Damn

This is Kristin Cavallari who is famous because she is a spoiled rich bitch. Why is it that all the snotty, privileged rich kids who never appreciate anything are always so hot? Because God hates poor people, that’s why. True story. Don’t believe me? Take drive through St. Bernard Parish in Louisiana. Zing! God rulez.

Links for the rich folks:

• Pocketshots? Shotpaks? All I see are tits and drunk chicks. (Crave)
• Leslie is hot and she’s in college. So she’s the the Cute College girl of the week (CH)
• Zuda launches from DC Comics (Gutterbleed)
• Paris Hilton’s new movie sucks. Wait? She’s in a movie? (Yeeeah)
• Halle Berry has huge mommy tits (DS)
• Christa Campbell and her huge rack at the Spike Scream awards (Bastardly)

So the site has been pretty quiet lately, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been working my ass off for you. I went through hell to get the juicy tidbits that I’ll be revealing this week. I can’t really say much about how, or what just yet, but the trip was like most of my relationships: it started off in a hot place, got awkward and ended in blood and tears (mostly my own). Here are the top stories from the weekend.

Kristin Cavallari has a MySpace Account. Her profile is set to private but I really want her to be my online friend. OMG. Right? ROFL!

Faceoff between Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel. Who works out the best in black tights. My money is on Jessica Biel because I fear her powerful muscles.(The Bastardly)

Veronica Mars Season 3 Synopsis from the ultra famous KS at GMMR. (GMMR)

Lindsay Lohan tells her mom to go to hell at a restaurant. Her mom asked to either start wearing panties or draw a face down there with a magic marker or something because people are getting freaked out. (Glitterati)

Tom Cruise just happened to go to a Redskins game and the owner of the Redskins just happened to give him 3 million dollars. Coincidence? (INO)

Kristin Cavallari continues to not have any skill whatsoever except for being outrageously hot. Below are some excerpt interview passages from the ultra-intelligent Blender Magazine.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
Oh, it’s just me.

When’s the first time you realized you were hot?
Same as any other girl, when we develop boobs and stuff. But I don’t consider myself hot — I still feel like the same big dork I’ve always been.

What’s the downside of being so darn hot?
Since so many people know who I am and know my business, I can’t get away with things I’d normally be able to. And I’m not 21, so going out can be a big issue. Then again, being hot can actually help with that problem, so it is good and bad.

What advice do you have for those who aspired to hotness?
Be yourself, don’t care what other people think, have a lot of confidence. Or at least make it look like you have a lot of confidence. Pretend if you need to.

Paris Hilton: hot or not?
Hot.

Cocaine?
Not.

MTV’s The Hills?
Not.

Hot Food?
Tuna tartar… although not literally.

Hot sexual position?
Depends on my mood, but girl-on-top… uh, is my dad gonna read this?

Hot schwag you bagged for free?
A $50,000 diamond ring from Sol Rafael—they just gave it to me, and no, I’m not engaged.

Hot celebrity baby?
Gwen Stefani’s — I love her.

Hot prescription drug?
Adderall, although that’s been around a while. I’m not saying I take it or anything.

What’s your fallback plan for when you inevitably lose your hotness?
I hope that I’ll be hot for a long time so I can make a lot of money and I can retire early and just travel. So, hopefully that will happen. (full interview)

Always nice to see that today’s ultra-privileged youth aren’t losing their unbelievable sense of entitlement. It’s really an inspiration to us all to see an apple cheeked rich girl who has never wanted for anything in her life or ever shed a tear of disappointment, talk about retiring at the ripe old age of 30 to “just travel”. I usually tell that story to my “kids” to make them appreciate what they have. They get it. They just cry through the smiles and keep sowing the sneakers like good little workers.