NSFW – Fatback Media

Summer is flyin’ by, don’t miss anything while you’re changing into your speedos.

-JJ Abrams just signed eleventy bazillion dollar deals with Paramount Pictures and Warner Bros. TV. The only thing that better come out of his office better have Sydney Bristow or Captain James T. Fucking Kirk. (ICYDK)

-The Bastardly lady of the day is Andrea. She’s Czech. 100% woman with curves that could start a war. She’s way to much for you to handle so she’s mine. I’ll probably die. (The Bastardly)

-Christina Aguilera didn’t wear a bra and went out in public. I applaud her for her individuality, self-determination, moxy and large perky boobies. (Yeeeah)

-The cast of The Office just reported back to work in order to make your fall season less suicidal. GMMR has the inside scoop and some pics of the cast that don’t involve bikinis. That’s for you ladies! (GMMR)

-Mischa Barton and her strikingly wierd nipple-slip. (the nipple not the slip) (Bricks and Stones)

-The Miss Universe contestants are trying to make the best of the current world situation. Miss Israel and Miss Lebanon are great friends and so are Miss Turkey and Miss Greece. Unfortunately, Miss Australia called Miss New Zealand a “bloody kiwi whore” and they got into a fist fight and were disqualified. Not really. Peace rulez! (TMZ.com)

-Pam Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married and Kid Rock is getting hepatitis. (Tabloid Whore)

(ed. note: You G’ville SC mullafuckas better get ready ’cause I’ll be there Wed. night)

Popsugar had these awesome photos of new mom Jennifer Garner before a taping of David Letterman that airs later this week. Jennifer Garner, who series Alias finishes up it’s five year run this week was somewhat reflective when asked about the show’s end.

“I feel very much like a college senior,” she said. “Kinda, ‘When will this ever end? I’m never going to get out of here!’ and at the same time, `Oh, don’t let it end. Who am I without it? I don’t want it to end! I love these people.’”(source)

Jennifer Garner couldn’t be any cuter if she was holding a basket full of pink bunnies that clucked like chickens and kittens with little wool hats on. Jennifer Garner is probably the cutest hot celebrity in Hollywood next to Reese Witherspoon. I think that if Jennifer Garner and Reese Witherspoon ever hung out and talked all southern and giggled to each other like, ” I KNOW, girl!” “I KNOW!”, it would be so cute that it would cure cancer. Here are some images of Jennifer going to the David Letterman show looking all Suth’n Sophisicate (source) and some images of Reese and Jennifer in New Orleans this close to “cute-ing” away Hurrcane Katrina’s shittiness.(source)

Tonight ABC’s Alias returns after a long hiatus due to star Jennifer Garner’s pregnancy. The 2 hour opener begins the final 4 episodes that are reported to end the series for good. ABC reports that several familiar faces will be back including the not-so-dead Michael Vaughn (Michael Vartan), Will Tippin (Bradley Cooper) and Anna Espinoza (Gina Torres). Also, it is reported that a male APO agent will be killed in a heroic way.

I have to admit that I really like Alias. It’s great show with good writing and acting that also has scantily clad hottie spy chicks kick-boxing each other on a regular basis. And hot chicks kickboxing is sexy. I keep telling my hot Eastern European chick spy friends that instead of always trying to poison my drink, or garrote me in the shower, or shoot me with a silenced Tokarev, that we should just have wild kickboxing sex threesomes (the good kind) in the interest of international relations. In a world of intrigue and danger where nothing is what it seems, no one can be trusted and your body is the only thing you can share…or trust…what else do we have?

In a follow up story to this one, it seems that some parents actually have time to take their kids to the doctor when they are injured. Recently, Violet Ann, the new daughter of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, was rushed to the hospital when her parents noticed that she was having trouble breathing.

In Touch Weekly is reporting that on April 8 the 4-month-old adorable little girl had to be rushed to a medical building in Century City, Calif.

It seems Violet was having difficulty breathing, says an insider, who adds that the baby was also tested for asthma.

The weekly tabloid cites an eyewitness that said, “Ben and Jen looked so worried. As Ben carried Violet, Jen kept peering into the blanket to check on her.” …

They got their little girl in for care and about an hour later, a much calmer family emerged, and they headed straight home with Violet.(source)(image)

I don’t have any kids, but I’m reasonably sure that if they were having trouble breathing or say, had a cracked skull, I would probably take them to the hospital right away. Especially if the hospital was near the all-nude strip club like it is my neighborhood. Two birds. One stone.

I’m pretty psyched that Alias is finally coming back next week after the long hiatus because my quotient of spy hotties has been low lately. Unless you count my Swedish ice skater girlfriend. But she technically doesn’t count because she really didn’t have to defect from Sweden like I made her do. I just told her that so I could bang her and make her cook for me. Jennifer Garner is super-sexy spy heat- even after the baby. Matter of fact, I think she may be a little hotter now that she has little more up front. And I’m an ass man. Well, ass and boobies. Ooh, and teeth. They gotta have ‘em all. I’m sophisticated like that. And now. Spy hotness.