NSFW - Fatback Media » Halloween http://www.fatbackmedia.com/nsfw Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:15:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 en hourly 1 Celebrity Halloween Costume Contest: 1st Annual http://www.fatbackmedia.com/nsfw/2006/10/31/celebrity-halloween-costume-contest-1st-annual/ http://www.fatbackmedia.com/nsfw/2006/10/31/celebrity-halloween-costume-contest-1st-annual/#comments Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:11:46 +0000 Fatback http://www.fatbackmedia.com/nsfw/2006/10/31/celebrity-halloween-costume-contest-1st-annual/ Halloween is for pussies. Let's do coke.

Hey y’all. It’s Halloween, my favorite holiday and it’s time for the 1st annual FB&C Celebrity Halloween Costume Contest. Our panel of expert judges, mostly consisting of me, have reviewed the top celebrity costumes this year and we have decided on the winner. We’d like to thank the celebrities for all the really inspired costumes this year. We can’t say for sure, but from the look of things, most of our contestants planned out their costumes tens of minutes before leaving the house. Sweet! Here are the contestants. Continue after the jump.


Junkie and his girlfriend the future terrible mom. Grade B-. Need to see the needle in the arm.

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty. Grade: F. I can totally tell who they are. If they were going for baby genetics destroyers then they get a B-.

Hi I'm a pizza. You failed asshole.
Hi I’m Chris Klein. The pizza! Terrible. F.

I'm a sweaty drunk. So I win right?
Bill Maher as Steve Irwin. Zero points asshole. Sweaty drunk? B+.

I'm Hilary Duff. The gypsy whore. I'll take your money.
Let me read your fortune Hilary Duff. Your costume sucks. You look like the chick that works at Wiccan Wicks Candle Store. D-.

Let's get physical physical. Let me hear you're body talk, your body talk.
What the hell is Hailey Duff wearing? Is that a 80’s jazzercise outfit with ski boots? Way to use shit from your own wardrobe. F.

Again with the leotard? Hey I'm a slut. Check out my camel toe.
Hey I’m Lindsay Lohan. I’m dressed as a whore in a leotard. Let’s do coke and jazzercise. I love the 80’s. C-.

I like to wear an old man's silk pajamas. It makes me feel safe.
Here’s Lindsay Lohan again. She dressed like my grandfather after dinner and a spongebath from his nurse. If you were trying to be Old Hollywood sexy then you failed. You make me want to take out my teeth and watch Matlock. F.

Fairy Whore Mother
Here’s one of the Girls Next Door. I’m guessing she’s trying to be a dirty fairy god mother. Well, that still equals whore. B-.

I will physically scare you to death. My gaze is deadly.
Chloe Sevigny’s gorgon gaze will turn you to stone. It’s not even really a costume, but it scares the shit out of me. B+.

Only 3lbs of flesh. Almost. There.
Nicole Ritchie as a skeleton. Terrible. Way too much meat on your bones fatty. D-.

A tramp dressed as a tramp! My head hurts.
Wow. Paris Hilton went all out. She’s a slut dressed as a sluttier slut. The irony of that may destroy the space-time continuum. F–.

Madonna dressed as a child theif.
Madonna dressed as British kidnapper complete with real live kidnapped baby. Good effort but I can still smell Detroit, dummy. D+.

Jared Leto is lost to this world.
Jared Leto dressed a fucking insane person. Good effort, but you need to lose the expensive bag. Real crazy people use trash bags. Nice research. Idiot. D.

Robin Hibbard nude and bubbly. Still no clue who you are.
Robin Hibbard is dressed as someone who’s famous. No chance. F.

Fifteen dollah get you anyteen you want, GI.
Mariah Carey as a well fed prostitute. B+.

Fergie can I get some sandies, princess?
WTF, Fergie? A princess, girl scout whore? Failure. F+

Me. Dressed as sexy me the last timeI wore these clothes.Brillant. Winner.
Me. Dressed as sexy me the last time I wore these clothes. Brillant. A+. Winner.

So there you have it. I’d like to thank everyone who competed in this year’s contest and I’d especially like to thank myself for being the sexy winner. Oh, if any of you Smarty McSmartypants noticed that this post is very similar to Maddox’s children’s drawings post then you’d be right. Good writers imitate. Great writers tie you up and murder your fucking family. Happy Halloween. Candy corn rulez.Sexy Southern Update Y’all! These are some last minute contestants who decided to get in on the action.

Clockwork Wrong. Cute, but wrong.I guess Elisha Cuthbert was going for Clockwork Orange. Clockwork Wrong. Terrible. C+ (she’s still cute)

I'm the only person ever to pull this off.Alyssa Milano as a fairy princess. Actually not bad. Not really much to say but, make a wish. B+UPDATE: Eagle eyed Jenny noticed that Alyssa has her wings on upside down. Failure. Automatically disqualified, dummy. No grade.

I'm incredibly drunk.Hi, I’m completely drunk. I fell in the makeup and I have blue lipstick on my teeth. Funny so, B-.

I'm 42 years old and I can kick!Cindy Margolis as an aging sanctimonious internet star who finally decided to shut the fuck up and finally show us the goods. A-.

Ok so I'm a little too old for this. Admit it. You want my shit.
Dana Delaney. Cougar(?) School girl. Works for me. B+.

I wore this in a Playboy video 6 years ago
Slutty French Maid, huh? Yawn. Stick to farting on guys and leave the creativity to the smart people. F.

Hi. I sold my soul to get this shit. 6 years to go!
What the fuck is this? If you were trying to go for sexy dead couple then you failed. Are ‘dirty clothes’ considered a costume? Six years left on your deal with the devil, dude. Then she’s mine. F-.

Wonder Woman? Wonder where the fuck I've been...
Rhona Mitra as Wonder Woman. More like wonder where the fuck I’ve been. I didn’t realize that Wonder Woman was such a slut. Looks like she banged the entire Justice League of America before coming to the party. Nice fishnets. Whore. C+

Well, looks like Cindy almost had me there at the last minute. After a quick rundown with the judges, I still win. Happy Halloween, muthafuckas.

Share the naked celebrity goodness, y'all! StumbleUpon Twitter Tumblr del.icio.us Facebook Fark Yahoo! Buzz MySpace

]]> http://www.fatbackmedia.com/nsfw/2006/10/31/celebrity-halloween-costume-contest-1st-annual/feed/ 12