NSFW - Fatback Media

See that? That is a salacious headline folks. I don’t like to brag, but they don’t teach that shit in journalism school. That comes from years of walking a beat, doing the research and following leads to get the story. Other bloggers may have fancy pants degrees from respected ivy covered liberal arts schools, but did they live blog the Vietnam War? No. No they did not. The key to writing a good story is coming up with a compelling headline that is evocative with just a hint of scandal, then diving right into the story so the readers will be instantly immersed in the narrative. Going on and on about unrelated or tangential information will only cause the reader to become disinterested and stop reading. Where was I?

Jamie and Lynne Spears arrived this morning at the County courthouse in downtown L.A. Sources say both parents are extremely concerned about the welfare of their daughter, and upset because Sam Lutfi is trying to call the shots on all matters Britney.

The court has the power to create a conservatorship, which would allow both Jamie and Lynne to make medical decisions on behalf of Britney. The conservatorship would also allow them to control Britney’s financial affairs. (Source)

What better way to show their love and support by taking control of her assets? It’s really kind of sweet, like Macbeth!

Sometime I feel sorry for Britney Spears because she is just the product of exploitative parents who whored out their daughter to the entertainment industry before she even finished high school - just to get her money. When I think about the tragic series of events that led up to Britney’s current situation it makes me melancholy. Then I remember that I am an elitist, judgmental bastard and it’s my job to make fun of Britney Spears and her fucked up, country-whore-come-to-town antics.

On Tuesday afternoon, she and Lutfi visited a nearby J. Crew, where an onlooker described her as “totally out of it.”

“She was talking in a slight accent. It was a little of a British accent,” says the eyewitness. “She kept to herself, quiet, she just wanted to go. She really wanted some Bubblelicious gum and she kept asking Sam for it and got frustrated when he didn’t have any. Her mood lifted when she found some in her bag.” (source)

What’s sick is this doesn’t even faze me anymore. What’s even sicker is that I would probably still bang her. She’s hot in a ’sad stripper in the light of day’ kinda way. You know I’m a sucker for a brokedown tramp who can smile through the tears.

Well not really. But she did get sent to the hospital this morning for being under the influence of something. I’m inclined to believe she is under the influence of Cheetoe dust and fried cake. Here’s what TMZ had to say:

Once in the ambulance, paramedics can be seen trying to strap her legs down before taking off.

We’re told Britney is being taken to a local hospital on a “medical hold” — essentially a mental evaluation. Cops found her earlier this evening at her home under the influence of an “unknown substance.”

Cops were called to the popnightmare’s home in Beverly Hills this evening, after she reportedly refused to return custody of her two kids to their father’s bodyguard. Oh, the insanity of it all!

Can’t someone just hit her on the head with a hammer? Why is this taking so long? She’s walks pretty slow. You could just leave a Starbucks Mochachino in the parking lot of a 7-11 and wait behind the dumpster. Like we did in Iraq. Oil Rulez!

More claw hammer fodder…

• Whose Boobs? Italian style! (LG)
• Kimberly Stewart got hot? (Bastardly)
• Guess whose gigantic rack this is. (SeriouslyOMG)
• 100’s of hot nude links. Except mine. Thanks jesus. (DS)
• Who would you rather bang? (Liquid Generation)
• Miranda Kerr and her Aussie boobies. (Jordan)
• Courtney Cox’s asshole. (Yeeeah)
• Jennifer Aniston’s ass in a thong. (IBBB)
• Lindsay Lohan is still a whore. (Allie)
• Vivica Fox cell phone blowjob. (Bumpshack)
• Coco. You got the whole camel in there? (Gone Hollywood)
• This nude chick is smokin’. No really she has a cigarette. (CH)