NSFW - Fatback Media

I don’t think I’ve made it a secret how I feel about Katharine McPhee and her two American Idols, but I think I may have just converted to an Assman. Katharine McPhee is set to play a supporting role in the new Anna Faris film House Bunny, where she’ll play a sorority girl with a little problem.

“I am the hippie girl who is free-spirited and gets knocked up and has no father around. I think my whole gimmick is being pregnant,” she said of her role in the comedy, which centers on a former Playboy Playmate (Anna Faris) who signs up to be the house mother at a sorority. “We have all these outfits that I wear that no pregnant woman — I don’t care how hot you are — should ever be wearing.” (source)

Who says pregnant chicks can’t be hot n’ sexy? Pregnant women are glowing and radiant and full of life. They’re also fat and mean with hairy stomachs and an outtie that looks like a Vienna sausage and sometimes they try to kill their babies. Rreeeow.

Besides Sanjaya, who’s a total dreamboat, Haley Scarnato is the hottest Idol contestant left. (Well, there is that chick that kinda looks like chocolate Shrek. Reeeow. )Point is, Haley may have the nicest rack in American Idol history. Katharine Mcphee is a close second. It’s cool though. She’s used to second place. Zing!

China (THE COMMUNIST COUNTRY) is starting their own version of Idol that, from these reports, may just be spicier than General Gao’s Chicken with extra ginger. It’s going to be called Boys Happy Voice, which sounds like a play I was in at Catholic School. I don’t like to talk about it.

Tears, wild hair and unhealthy songs are banned when China’s latest version of “American Idol” goes on the air next month.

“No weirdness, no vulgarity, no low taste,” the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television said Friday in a notice to the producers of “Boys Happy Voice,” according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

The talent show, to be broadcast beginning May 1, is a sequel to the hugely popular TV contest “Super Girls Voice” in 2005, which drew more than 400 million viewers. The woman who won that contest became a popular singer in China….

“Happy Boys Voice” should include only “healthy and ethically inspiring” songs and avoid scenes of screaming fans or losing contestants in tears,” the regulator was quoted as saying. (source)

The officals were also quoted as saying that, instead of being forced to sing (while crying )when they are eliminated, ousted contestants will be crushed by Red Army Tanks to show their Happy Fun Patriotism and Conformity. More Haley proving that some animals are more equal than others…

Shazam. This is the best season of American Idol. EVER. Katharine McPhee’s yellow dress malfunction pales in comparison to Antonella Barba, and now Alaina Alexander nudes. Of course these are not fully nude or else Alaina’s MySpace profile would be taken down. You know what posting semi-nudes on MySpace gets you?

Hope.

I thought all the hope had left this world after The Departed and 300. But half naked pictures of wannabe singers on MySpace means there are some whole-naked pictures on somebody’s hard drive somewhere, just waiting to be released into the wilds of the internet. And naked pictures, my friends are like secrets and STD’s, they’re bound to come out sometime (usually after putting something where it shouldn’t have been). That doesn’t make sense at all. But what does make sense is how hot Alaina Alexander is. I asked her to be my MySpace friend and I invited her to a Gmail account. I have a good feeling about this one. If Axl Rose has taught me anything, it’s that the LA music scene is a veritable “jungle” and you have to do drugs and porn or “you gonna die”. You. Gonna. Die.

Just this one more. Promise. Then I’m done.

Idol castoff Antonella Barba is speaking out in interviews about her time at Idol and the infamous nude pictures. Although she was kicked off by America because she couldn’t sing, she’ll always be my funny Jersey valentine.

How hard was it to deal with all the controversy that was going on around you when you were on the show?
It was definitely difficult and it wasn’t how I intended things to go, but I tried to block it out as much as possible and stay focused on the competition. All that other stuff was completely irrelevant to the fact that I’m here to sing.

Visibility is important – does part of you feel that there’s no such thing as bad publicity?
Yes, it’s true that my name is more well-known because of it, but I’m not known for the things that I would like to be known for right now. I wanted to make a name for myself in singing. The pictures that have been released of me – the ones that actually are me – they were very personal and that is not how I intended to portray myself. I’d rather promote myself in a more classy way. And, again, that was private – that was not for the public eye.

Were you approached to pose in Playboy?
I heard about it but I was never approached.  (source)

She was also asked if she was dating anyone, to which she replied, “No, not really, I want to focus on my career”. I think we all know that she means she’s really into a certain sexy internet writer. I sent her a NSFW t-shirt and everything.

Is there really any other kind? Well, I guess there’s always Myrtle Beach girls? ANYWAY. American Idol is back, baby. And now it’s all nude, all the time. Katharine McPhee’s yellow dress malfunction pales in comparison to a Jersey girl in heat. The standout this season, and not for her voice, is bitchy Jersey Shore Rat Antonella Barba, who came out of the gate with semi nude pics of her friends on the beach and of herself taking a piss. And they said grace died with Anna Nicole Smith.

The interesting thing about all this is that Antonella’s BFF (who was eliminated early on in the Idol competition) is rumored to have released the photos herself. Best. Friend. Ever. I’ve met girls like that before and I’ve ususallu lost my wallet and my insurance benefits. She sounds the kind of girl that would blow her best friend’s boyfriend on the way to a funeral. Because really, without love, where would we be?

Steaming hot links and filth.

• Top 10 shortest celebrity hotties. (Uni brow)
• More Cloverfield monster details (Zed’s Dead)
• More Silver Surfer action.(Gutterbleed)
• Celebrity Photo hunt. Sexy style! (LG)
• Pamela Anderson is pregnant and her fetus has HEP C. (Yeeeah)
• Katherine Heigl should STFU and let the bloggers give the opinions around here. (Webster)
• Britney Spears gets fucked by photographer. Not in the good way. (Allie)
• People are bagging on Kim Catrall, but I would rip that shit to cougar pieces. (HolyCandy)
• Penelope Cruz’s lesbian incest kiss was a fake. But you can still rub one out to it. (City rag)
• Famous people are fucking gullible idiots. (Glitterati)
• Bar Rafaeli topless. Kinda. (Jordan)
• Stacey Kiebler is still alive. (Bastardly)
• Heidi Montag poses in a bikini. (DS)

…or at least those boots are. Damn Girl. Thats’s the album cover for Krazy Kat’s new album, which drops today and is filed under the genres of “Sucks” and “Who Cares”. And don’t be thinking I’m some kind of Kat Hater or Talyor Hicks luvah. I just hate shitty music.

I’m quite sure I defied the laws of physics trying to see under Katharine’s dress. But I have an eerie feeling when I got under there, I’d find a chastity belt of pure American steel that reads, “Not this rainbow, fucker� then she’d summon the scientology aliens to leave me in a lust-induced coma and walk away with my wallet. That’s the mark of a pure sexpot. Lure you in then stab you right in the balls. Aside from that, my only complaint is lack of plunging neckline and copious cleavage. If you got it, flaunt it, sista. I know I do.

More of that DYN-O-MITE cleave.

American Idol runner-up and unceasingly sexy, Katharine McPhee recently stated that she took some scientology courses because she was obsessed with a guy who was into it.

“I took a couple of courses. It was really all about a guy.” McPhee, 22, said. “It was a guy that I was totally obsessed with — not obsessed with but totally into and, you know, guys and girls can do that to our lives and make us think we’re into something that we’re not.” (source)

Obsession can be a bitch. Especially when that bitch waits outside your apt with a loaded .38, a mix CD and note pinned to her chest that says, I told you not to fuck with me, I could’ve changed for you. Can I help it if the ladies are swooned by my liquid green eyes, roguish charm and Deluxe Wustoff Knife set?

Here’s Katharine Mcphee last week out and about with no makeup on which makes me want to pillow fight her after breakfast in bed on a Sunday morning.

Even on the 50″ Plasma screen that I have in the bathroom of my secret island hideout, American Idol still sucks. How about Jewel being a rotten bitch? I guess all that time living in van, giving handjobs for chilli-cheese fries made her kinda jaded. What doesn’t suck is Katharine McPhee’s giant rack. Yeah, I guess she can sing and all, but just by seeing her cleavage at the Golden Globes after party I think I cured a future prostate cancer and I just got out of my wheelchair for the first time in 3 years. I want a puppy. Here are some more images of the healing powers of Katharine’s rack. I think it’s just four copies of the same picture though. Be healed.

Apparently American Idol runner-up, Katharine McPhee is more human than we thought behind that apple-cheeked smile and much talked about cleavage. She recently spoke to Blender magazine about American Idol, being labeled stuck-up and even waking up puking red wine soaked Pad Thai on herself. So refreshing. So real.

In an interview with Blender, Katharine says, while touring can be tiring, “the good outweighs the bad. Even if I think to myself, ‘Oh, man, I gotta sing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ again?’ I see the little faces smiling at me and they’re all excited, so it becomes new to me.”

While that’s very sweet, she also shows that she’s human. Some “non-fans” may think she’s “overly confident or stuck-up” or “a snob,” Katharine says, “because during Idol I would talk back to the judges. Trust me, I could’ve said a lot worse things.” She also says she’s “a big flirt. It doesn’t get me into trouble — well, maybe it does sometimes. But yeah, I just love men.”

When asked about the last time she vomited, Katherine says, “I don’t think people want to read that. [Laughs] I’m supposed to be the sweet all-American girl from American Idol.” But she relents and explains that she visited a friend and drank a bunch of wine, and says, “I remember barfing all night long. I would wake up and I would already have barfed, and I didn’t even know I was barfing. And to top it off, everything was just bright purple. Like, the pad Thai noodles were purple.” (source)

Wow. She said that while being photographed for a “sexy” Blender layout? That just takes the sex appeal right off that whole conversation. It’s like if you were on a bear skin rug naked with a super model pouring champagne all over each other and you start talking dirty and kissing and then she leans in to kiss you and says,”Don’t you think your mom is sexy. She’s always had a really hot ass. Mmmmm.” Buzz. Kill.

Speaking of… What the hell happened to Katharine McPhee’s rack? I know she’s been dressing like 20’s flapper lately, but this dress is basically draped across what should be a voluptuous display of boobies. And yet, I’m turning my monitor left and right and I can’t see anything. It looks like she starved the boobies right off her body. She has a good voice and all and she seems nice enough but I think we all know what takes to make in this business. And to think just a year ago her rack crashed my server. Give this girl some groceries.

Katharine McPhee and The real American Idol, her rack, will not be performing at the first few American Idol concerts due to “illness”. Recent singing for her new album and rehearsals for AI have reportedly taken their toll on her vocal cords.

“American Idols Live” kicked off their U.S. tour Wednesday without sultry runner-up Katharine McPhee, who’s been struck down with severe bronchitis and laryngitis, according to the Associated Press. McPhee, 23, whose doctor has ordered “total voice rest,” will not be performing at the concerts Wednesday and Thursday night.

“That’s the most difficult part, not talking!” McPhee “said” in a released statement. She also wrote that she was disappointed she wouldn’t be performing, but “I need to follow my doctor’s orders to recuperate and reunite with the rest of the idols.”(source)

That’s a lame excuse if I ever heard one. Besides, people aren’t buying tickets to AI concerts to see her giant, beautiful and perfect in every way vocal cords. She needs to work on her back story a bit. You have to have plausible deniability. Like the time I said that I didn’t show up for work because the Mossad had kidnapped me in a black Ford van and held me prisoner for 6 days in a warm sunny climate; which is why I had a tan. Oh, and they made me do body shots with sexy secret agents and gave me lots of food (obviously drugged) which is why I gained 10 lbs. See? I think things through. Here are some shots of Katharine when she sang with Meatloaf. Meatloaf has been Photoshopped out so I don’t vomit bile on my keyboard.