NSFW – Fatback Media

According an article this morning, Michael Vartan is returning to ABC’s Alias.

ABC’s Alias could use a boost, as the show has dropped down to 70th place (7.2 million) for the week ended Sunday, per Nielsen Media Research.

Fans have been very vocal about the studio’s decision to move the Jennifer Garner spy series to Thursday nights, where it’s up against such shows as Survivor, and the producers have heard complaints about the sudden departure of Michael Vartan, whose character Michael Vaughn was supposedly killed in the season five premiere.

The deal officially closed late last week and Vartan returned to work on the Alias set yesterday.

A lot of the readers of this site are women and I have heard some whispers here and there that this site is too geared toward the male readers. Poppycock, I say! Just look how I put that picture of Michael Vartan up there for all the ladies to swoon over. Granted he sitting in the crotch of a sexy spy, who, from what I understand, refuses to wear underwear, but I digress… The point is: I am all for equal rights and treament and shit like that. So, if you’re a girl, then just stare at Michael Vartan up there and pay noattention to the hot pictures of Jennifer Garner below. See?. I rock.

In a setback earlier this week, the person accused of planting a bug at Nicole Kidman’s Sydney Australia home, won an appeal and will not have to provide a DNA sample for the local police.

One of Kidman’s security guards spotted the device near a sidewalk
outside the Oscar-winning actress’ lavish harbor-front mansion in
January.

Police later alleged that celebrity photographer Jamie Fawcett, 43,
had been captured on security camera footage near the house around the
time the bug was planted.

The Waverley Local Court in April ordered Fawcett to supply police with
a DNA sample to be compared with samples allegedly found on the
listening device.

Apparently, Jamie forgot the first rule of espionage: Don’t pleasure yourself on the bug you’re planting at the target’s house, wait till you get back to the van. Its pretty simple to follow.Here’s a good way to find out where you’re going wrong. Right after you connect the audio leads to the junction box, STOP. Now look down. If your pants are down and your right hand is in your underwear, then you fucked up. It happens to best of us. (Sorry about your window Mindy).

The interesting thing about this article is how awesome Australian laws are. Even though a bug was planted by the photographer on camera,

"There was no evidence before the court that the device was ever
used or caused to be used to record or listen to a conversation," Judge
Michael Grove said in his judgment.

He also ordered Detective Malcolm Nimmo, who brought the matter to court, to pay Fawcett’s legal costs.

That just shows you how much better the legal system is in Australia. If I weren’t the subject of litigation right now I would tell that hard-nosed, gumshoe at the 27th Precinct to kiss my ass.

Susan Sarandon is "shocked" at the recent press coverage os renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesnee. According to this article:

Film veteran SUSAN SARANDON was horrified by the amount of press attention devoted to the short-lived marriage of RENEE ZELLWEGER and KENNY CHESNEY, while millions of people are suffering in Sudan.

The DEAD MAN WALKING star is disgusted by the frivolous content of magazines, at the expense of stories of the tens of thousands of people killed in the troubled Darfur region of the African nation.

Sarandon says, "It really blows my mind how the media is using language these days.

"When Renee Zellweger married Kenny Chesney after only knowing him briefly, I couldn’t believe how many people said they were ’stunned’ she would do something that impulsive.

"Stunned! I’ll tell you what I find stunning: how many thousands, if not millions, of people are dying in Darfur and there’s barely any press coverage of that carnage. Now that’s stunning."

I disagree. I am not stunned by the lack of press coverage in Darfur.There’s no oil there, duh. Plus, most of the Darfurian marriages are arranged anyway. Where’s the excitment in that? And, when’s the last time a child star from Darfur showed up drunk at a red carpet event and flashed her boobies. Never. That’s when. I’m not saying we don’t need a strong military presence in Darfur, I’m just saying some drunken red carpet antics wouldn’t hurt their case.

Just to show that I am a diplomat of world peace and international relations. I have posted a nice picture of Susan Sarandon in the Galleries. (NSFW after the jump)

*Update: Just so I don’t get the ususal hate mail from angry readers and/or Ms. Sarandon’s attorney, fell free to help out the people I have just made fun of here:
https://app.etapestry.com/hosted/SaveDarfurCoalition/OnlineGiving.html

Score one for the good guys. Or something.

OK! Magazine has reportedly lost out on the bid for exclusive rights to the Dirty Vegas Sean Preston pics.

According to PageSix.com, OK! magazine has lost out in the bidding to
publish the first pictures of Britney Spears’ baby, Sean Preston Spears
Federline. The magazine which paid a reported 3 million for black and
white wedding photos of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher was said to have
offered up to $2 million for exclusives of Britney Spears, hubby Kevin
Federline and baby Sean Preston Spears Federline.

Britney Spears favorite magazine – People Magazine will publish the
first offical photos. A rep for People declined comment, but a rep for
Spears said, "If this is true, they will probably donate the money to
charity."

That sounds about right. Except I would change the donate to "keep all to themselves" and charity to Kevin Federline.

In other news Britney has reportedly said she will spend millions on personal trainers and nutritionists to get back into the shape she was before she got pregnant. I think she looks great now-especially in that picture above. But then again, I think the girls stumbling out of the strip club at 7:00 am that I see on my way to work every morning look good too. They just need a friend, you know. I can be that friend. Then we won’t need the duct tape.