I only watch American Idol because I’m drunk by 9:00 on any given night and I can’t find my remote so I just watch whatever channel happens to be on. Last night was a so-called “elimination” night where they make everyone cry, then humiliate the eliminated contestant by making them sing while balling their eyes out. Great fun.

So last night, Tony Bennet was supposed to sing, but I guess his sundown syndrome wore off and he fucking never showed up. So they called Michael Bublé to fill in. Apparently the call rang his cell phone at a bar, because as it turns out, Michael was completely drunk and had just done a rail of coke. It was hilarious. He stumbled around on stage and sang like shit and when he was done he asked Ryan Seacrest if he was wasting his vote by still voting for Antonella Barba. Not at Michael. Not. At. All.

• Hayden Panetierre wearing seethru. Go ahead and click it perv. She may be 16, but she smokes and whores around with Paris Hilton. Innocence lost. (DS)
• I’m a famous blogger. Go ahead. Ask me. (One Blog A Day)
• Britney Spears got divorced and she’s paying K-Fed 25K a month to babysit her kids 4 days a week. (Yeeeah)
• Abigail Clancy is a hot coke whore model who bangs sports stars. Like your mom. (Bumpshack)
• Some chick on an MTV show nobody watches got some new tits. (IBBB)
• Lucy Pinder, wait for it…naked. I know, right? So unlike her. (JIMH)
• Rose Mcgowan and Rosario Dawson naked with bullets. Pants. Just. Exploded. (Bastardly)
• Hot college stripper asses. (CH)

Ok. So I know that pic is not of Antonella Barba. But Google shut down my Adsense for those pics in an earlier post. Google is awesome. I want them to fuck me in the ass. Wait they already did.

Alright chil’ren. Simmer down. I’ve been down south honky-tonkin’ for 10 days and I have never been so drunk. I went down and Bible-thumped my way through the south eating at every greasy spoon I could find by day and drinking till dawn in every bar that had live music. The posting has been for shit and I am currently trying out a new server situation because of traffic. You bitches are slowing me down, and the Freebird’s gotta fly, right?

Speaking of down south, I just got the Erin Daily (of Television Without Pity fame) interview completed. It is almost 100% not made up. Erin is the recapper for my former favorite show, Alias. Currently she lives in my neck of the woods (Charleston, SC) and she answered my questions for our kissing cousin site, GiveMeMyRemote.com Forums. Read the full text of the interview here.

Bustah Rhymes body guard killed by gunfire. (Glitterati Gossip) Is there any other way for a gangsta rapper’s body guard to die? Henessey for my fallen homies, yo.

Nikki Cox and her ginormous frontal regions is engaged to Jay Mohr. (WWTDD).

Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow have split. (All This Nonsense). I guess he’s her second favorite mistake.

Fatback and Collards at MySpace: Join the southern fried fun over at our MySpace account. It’s better than grits n’ gravy.

Watch out girlz! Jessica Simpson may be switching sides. (Subvert Society)

Kristen Bell, claims things are not as
exciting in her private life. "I have no social or personal life
because of the show. It’s a commitment," she admits. "I’m lucky to have
this job and I love it, but you definitely sacrifice your personal life
when you’re doing one-hour television, and I don’t think I realized
that.

Veronica Mars hasn’t really been given the credit it is due, despite good writing and the high percentage of supposedly teen-aged hotties. That’s why it makes it so bittersweet that Kristen doesn’t have time for a social life. I have repeatedly told her that I can work around her schedule. She always has the same lame ass excuse. I just don’t get it. I don’t even know what a restraining order is. But that’s what the cops keep asking me when they beat me with their night sticks. She’s just playing hard to get. Just to show my love for VMars there are more pics of the Neptune High ladies after the jump.(WARNING: Some are NSFW)

ABC’s Alias could use a boost, as the show has dropped down to 70th place (7.2 million) for the week ended Sunday, per Nielsen Media Research.

Fans have been very vocal about the studio’s decision to move the Jennifer Garner spy series to Thursday nights, where it’s up against such shows as Survivor, and the producers have heard complaints about the sudden departure of Michael Vartan, whose character Michael Vaughn was supposedly killed in the season five premiere.

The deal officially closed late last week and Vartan returned to work on the Alias set yesterday.

A lot of the readers of this site are women and I have heard some whispers here and there that this site is too geared toward the male readers. Poppycock, I say! Just look how I put that picture of Michael Vartan up there for all the ladies to swoon over. Granted he sitting in the crotch of a sexy spy, who, from what I understand, refuses to wear underwear, but I digress… The point is: I am all for equal rights and treament and shit like that. So, if you’re a girl, then just stare at Michael Vartan up there and pay noattention to the hot pictures of Jennifer Garner below. See?. I rock.