Rebecca Loos, nude? No. Really? Noooo. That’s right, here’s Rebecca Loos, the very famous actress, or um..singer, or… well come to think of it, she’s really just famous for being naked. Which means she’s a free spirit who celebrates the body electric and wants to share that incandescent enfranchisement with the world. Or, she’s just a whore.

You gotta hand it to the British, because where else can you find a big titted tart nestled right between the pages of your afternoon news? I think if we added some full frontal nudity into news stores about Iraq, people wouldn’t be so pissy about the war. They’d be all, “yeah people are dying senselessly everyday and the corporate pseudo-government agencies like Haliburton just keep getting richer and richer at the expense of so much American blood , but I found some titties in my Time Magazine today. Can you image? Titties!? Will wonders never cease?” Links, bitches.

• Britney Spears has tipped the whore/hottie scale in favor of hottie 51/49. (DS)
• Tattoos are whorish. That’s why I love Megan Fox. (Bastardly)
• Pics from some Maxim party where they lied to girls and told them they were pretty. (ICYDK)
• Terri Hatcher upskirt. IF YOU DARE. (Ninja Dude)
• The Spice Girls had group sex in London. Whatever. (Glunp)
• Jessica Alba musings. Hint: she doesn’t want to fuck you. (DH)
• Colleges have college girls. Girls have boobies. ERGO. Boobies. (CH)
• Happy Meal with a glass pipe and a 1/4 bag. (City rag)

“I think her names Lucy cause they all call her Loos…”

More Links Bitches.

• Okay. Yeah. People having sex while being tattooed. (Crave)
• Jamie Lynn Spears is a little lady. (IBBB)
• Mary Kate Olsen is kind of a whore. (Allie)
• Peter Petrelli is a hero… to all pervs. (Holy Candy)
• Bret Ratner banged Lindsay Lohan but don’t quote him on that. (Evil Beet)
• Sienna Miller nude and pissed. (Drunken stepfather)
• Giselle Bundtcake does GQ (Bastardly)
• Alexandra is the college girl of the week (College Humor)
• Pamela Anderson got married again. SEX TAPE! (Yeeeah)
• Ben Stiller’s new movie sucks wind – like a  queef. (Pajiba)
• Penelope Cruz Bikini pics (Jordan)

Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 Days in jail for violating the terms of her probation for a driving under the influence arrest. You remember, right? That’s the one where she drove to court on a suspended license? Yeah, that one. Although Paris was reportedly quite the picture of the contrite sweet young girl run afoul, but in the end, the judge (like the rest of the world) wasn’t buying it.

“I’m very sorry, and from now on I’m going to pay complete attention to everything. I’m sorry, and I did not do it on purpose at all.” (source)

Which probably would have gone over well if she hadn’t thrown her publicist Elliot Mintz under the bus right after that.

The judge called out [Paris'] rep Elliot Mintz in court, describing his testimony as “completely worthless.” He also told Paris that he did not believe that she was unaware of her license suspension, adding that she had paperwork in her car stating that her license was suspended. (source)

I was going to throw a Paris in jail countdown party and revel in the fact that a spoiled rich brat who shits on people all the time, but never expects any consequences was finally going to get her comeuppance and the world would be set right, but then I remembered that the world sucks and Paris’ family is rich so she’ll probably only serve a day or two in jail. They’ll chalk it up to “overcrowding” and let her go. Meanwhile the single mom who was arrested for shoplifting baby formula will serve her full term while her children get to stay in the sweet facilities down at the LA Social Services offices. Justice is blind baby, unless you stuff a wad of cash in her g-string. Whore. Speaking of…here’s another ubiquitous Paris Hilton upskirt. Yawn.