NSFW - Fatback Media

It’s rare to dig up some really good nudes of supermodels, so when our crack team of boobie hunters found these outback out-takes of Victoria secret supermodel Miranda Kerr, we were rightfully excited to throw another shrimp on the barbie and down a Fosters in celebration. G’day, tits!

This is Anna Friel who is a British chick who plays a girl named Chuck on Pushing Daisies; probably the most original show ever made for television. If you don’t watch it, don’t bother - you won’t get it. What you will get is that Anna Friel has a great rack and she’s British so that means she gets naked all time. I’d like to build a birdhouse in her soul.

Pushing Links:

• Kim Kardashian Nude in Playboy (Crave)
• Halloween hotties (FHM)
• Tracey Morgan is high (Crave Online)
• Tyra Banks has the monster mash in her crotch (IBBB)
• Devon Aoki dressed as an Asian whore, ’cause…well..(Bastardly)
• Petra Nemkova is a trampy Cleopatra (DS)

Except not really. No photoshop here right? I’ve seen more realistic photos in the Weekly World News. Like that bat kid that decided have sex with the fattest lady ever and they were friends with JFK and Hitler and when they went outside to look for el chupacabra, the clouds were shaped like the devil? The DEVIL. Makes you think.

Conspiratorial Update: There are some “behind the scenes” shots of this photoshoot that actually have Britney in them. Or do they? They made the moon landing look pretty convincing too.  (Allure)

 

Time to enter the wayback machine kids - way back to when Marisa Miller was doing more nudity. Besides the fact that I couldn’t send you through the weekend with the incredible hulk dog as the lead story, I was feeling a little nostalgic about a time in the not too distant past when tea was sweet, summer was hot and Marisa Miller was plenty nude. Good times.

Padma Lakshmi and controversial British author Salman Rushdie are getting a divorce. In case you missed it, because who gives a shit, Padma Lakshmi and Salman Rushidie got married in 2004. Salman Rushdie is the author of The Satanic Verses which caused a fatwa for his death to be issued by the Ayatollah Khomeini a while back and Padma Lakshmi is a model turned chef and tv host as well as the newly elected senator and former Queen of Naboo.

British author Salman Rushdie and his wife Padma Lakshmi, host of TV show “Top Chef,” are getting divorced, his spokeswoman said on Monday, just two weeks after he was awarded a controversial knighthood.

Rushdie, 60, is best known for his novel “The Satanic Verses,” which outraged many Muslims and sparked death threats that forced him to live in hiding for nine years.

He married Lakshmi, a former model born in 1970 in India, in 2004. She was his fourth wife and the couple had no children. (source)

Hm. Wonder why that didn’t work out? Padma Lakshmi is a smoking hot chef/model/tv host who looks like she could cook a mean curry right after stealing some documents from the embassy just in time to lie nude on the bearskin rug in front of the fire and Salman Rushdie looks like he would say “Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me…only money…”. This story would be boring except I love Indian food and nudity. And now Salman Rushdie nude. Except not.

 

Singer Avril Lavigne is stirring up gossip over her image for the June cover of Blender magazine, where she is featured seemingly naked from the waist up. Oooh, sinner.

Truth be told, Lavigne revealed to us before taking the stage last night, the photo shoot was a little more innocent than you think. “Actually, I’m not topless on the cover,” she said. “I was wearing a tube top, and they just kind of put a banner on top of it.”

Even if she’s not topless, the 22-year-old is still flaunting her inner bad girl. “The Blender shoot was really fun because it was super rock and roll — we had a bottle of [whiskey] and ate cupcakes,” she said. “Everyone was super cool. It was definitely a different kind of photo shoot for me.” (source)

Cupcakes are so fucking rock‘n’roll. I bet if you slice open Mick Jagger, (besides dust) you’d find a tourniquet, a stripper and dozens of tiny cupcakes. Chocolate ones, with fuckin’ sprinkles. Becuase nothing says rock like tiny baked confections. Except, not. Avril is anything but rock‘n’roll. She’s a 22 year old whino from Canada who thinks she’s badass because she cusses and dates sk8er bois. If she were a real rock chick, she’d be naked in that photo giving Joe Perry a handjob while another girl tongues her Lizard King breast tattoo. But most importantly, she wouldn’t be talking about it because she wouldn’t have to. Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak. Whores. Here’s Avril at the Maxim Hot 100 Party.

Rebecca Loos, nude? No. Really? Noooo. That’s right, here’s Rebecca Loos, the very famous actress, or um..singer, or… well come to think of it, she’s really just famous for being naked. Which means she’s a free spirit who celebrates the body electric and wants to share that incandescent enfranchisement with the world. Or, she’s just a whore.

You gotta hand it to the British, because where else can you find a big titted tart nestled right between the pages of your afternoon news? I think if we added some full frontal nudity into news stores about Iraq, people wouldn’t be so pissy about the war. They’d be all, “yeah people are dying senselessly everyday and the corporate pseudo-government agencies like Haliburton just keep getting richer and richer at the expense of so much American blood , but I found some titties in my Time Magazine today. Can you image? Titties!? Will wonders never cease?” Links, bitches.

• Britney Spears has tipped the whore/hottie scale in favor of hottie 51/49. (DS)
• Tattoos are whorish. That’s why I love Megan Fox. (Bastardly)
• Pics from some Maxim party where they lied to girls and told them they were pretty. (ICYDK)
• Terri Hatcher upskirt. IF YOU DARE. (Ninja Dude)
• The Spice Girls had group sex in London. Whatever. (Glunp)
• Jessica Alba musings. Hint: she doesn’t want to fuck you. (DH)
• Colleges have college girls. Girls have boobies. ERGO. Boobies. (CH)
• Happy Meal with a glass pipe and a 1/4 bag. (City rag)

“I think her names Lucy cause they all call her Loos…”

More Links Bitches.

• Okay. Yeah. People having sex while being tattooed. (Crave)
• Jamie Lynn Spears is a little lady. (IBBB)
• Mary Kate Olsen is kind of a whore. (Allie)
• Peter Petrelli is a hero… to all pervs. (Holy Candy)
• Bret Ratner banged Lindsay Lohan but don’t quote him on that. (Evil Beet)
• Sienna Miller nude and pissed. (Drunken stepfather)
• Giselle Bundtcake does GQ (Bastardly)
• Alexandra is the college girl of the week (College Humor)
• Pamela Anderson got married again. SEX TAPE! (Yeeeah)
• Ben Stiller’s new movie sucks wind - like a  queef. (Pajiba)
• Penelope Cruz Bikini pics (Jordan)

So yeah. Whatever. I thought my last post Britney Spears topless was going to pay my rent this month like Antonella Barba did last month. However, it turns out that paparazzi photos, or this case, ’stolen from someone who knows Britney’ photos cost 1G a pop. And what me havin’ bitches in tha livin’ room gettin’ on and they ain’t leavin’ till 6 in tha mo’nin’, I gotta hang on to these ends, yo. Anyway, buzzkill rent takers aside, there actually is some shit worth reading on the web today. I’m keeping it to myself though. Fuck you.

• Here are the Topless Britney Spears pictures in case you came here for them. Although I think I’d rather see Allie topless. Reeeow. Blogger boobies! (Allie)
• Kimberly Stewart at Coachella. Looking like a roachella. Yeah. That’s what I said. (Bastardly)
• Lindsay Lohan is a whore and she’s off the wagon. The whore wagon. (Don’t Judge me)
• Jesus take the wheeel. Or Sienna Miller’s nip slip. Whatevs, deity. (DS)
• They should call his mom GANJAYA SMOKALAR. That’s the name of my bong. (Bumpshack)
• More Britney Spears topless. Now with MORE DAISY! (Yeeeah)
• Speaking of boobies, these are NOT pictures of Britney Spears Boobs, they ARE pics of hot slutty college girls. (CH)
• Self referential link to another link post that a links back to my site and a picture of Jessica Simpson’s rack. (GoT)

More of Jamie Lynn Spears the cantankerous Spears sister. Wait, I meant cankerous.

So here’s (not exactly…see update) Britney Spears topless, and for some reason that just doesn’t have the “Oh” factor it had 4 tears ago. I’ll assume that these are recent because of the silly hat and the ridiculous “hair”, but for all I know this isn’t Britney Spears at all. However, because it’s more important to publish salacious headlines than to do any sort of research, I’m going with: it’s definitely Britney Spears topless. For those of you who just joined that’s called key word density.

Anyway. Not much is going on today except wars and famine and shit like that (totally not sexy) so Britney Spears topless will have to suffice. I guess she’s not fully topless because of the daisies, but you get the picture. Honestly it looks like the first frame of some Croatian porn I saw the other day. Those people just shoot porn anywhere and nobody gives a shit. They’ll be filming a DP scene at a park and a family will just walk by with a stroller and a kid eating ice cream like it was nothing. They film that shit everywhere. Grocery stores, outdoor restaurants, operating rooms during surgery, the morgue, the subway, somebody’s mom’s house- with their mom. Where am I going with this? Basically, Croatia kicks ass. Except for the genocide and war and car bombs and people burning furniture to stay warm. Other than that, they have pretty good porn.

BUZZKILL UPDATE: IMAGES REMOVED BY REQUEST:

Apparently you have to pay a bazillion dollars for pictures these days or they get all Law & Order on you. See the Britney Spears Topless images here. SEO WINS!