Thora Birch has a great dad

Fatback — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 15:18:58 +0000

Thora Birch, who is currently filming the true crime flick, “The Winter of Frozen Dreams” in upstate NY, is getting some acting help on set from her well adjusted and not-crazy-at-all dad. On sex scenes. Normally sex scenes are shot on a closed set with only essential crew and the actors, but apparently Thora’s dad, Jack Birch feels that nude, simulated sex is a family affair.

The crew making “The Winter of Frozen Dreams” in upstate Schenectady was horrified when the father/manager of star lady Thora Birch insisted on watching the filming of her sex scenes with Dean Winters.

Jack Birch – who met Thora’s mother, Carol Connors, as her co-star in “Deep Throat” – demanded to be present as his daughter and Winters simulated intercourse last week.

“It was so wrong,” said one insider. “The director is saying, ‘Harder! Faster!’ and the father is giving Winters the thumbs up.”

Her dad, who “looks like Charles Manson” in a “full-length leather coat and wraparound sunglasses, even at night” – was described in a review of his “Road of Death” (1973) as “a muscle-stud . . . so unphotogenic you can’t take your eyes off him.”

Jack Birch was on the set every day giving orders – even telling director Eric Mandelbaum where to place his camera so that Thora would look her best. Mandelbaum was about to shoot the first sex scene Monday when, “all of a sudden, the front door is being kicked in. Her father was threatening to kill the assistant directors. Then he threatens to pull her from the movie with three days of shooting left.”

Making matters worse, a problem with the focus on the camera necessitated 14 takes.

“It was the most bizarre, perverse scene,” said our witness. “One girl on the crew broke down crying.”(source)

Thora Birch is cute-hot and has an amazing rack. That’s the end of the non-creepy part of this story. Her parents were porn stars, her dad dresses like a serial killer and urges actors to ram his daughter in sex scenes. (Big boobs, porn star parents, daddy issues. Tramp trifecta!) That’s the kind of thing that can get you a Hallmark filled with Anthrax in my neighborhood. The good news is that she’s probably a whore. So that counts for something. Here’s some jerk material for her dad. PS. The one that looks fake was taken on my yacht. I’m rich.

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Thora Birch has a great dad

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