I’m from down south, and down south they say, “you’ve got to stand for something.” I don’t remember how the rest goes because I don’t listen to my elders, I don’t go to church and don’t generally listen to country music which pretty much means I have no moral compass. Which has worked out so far. But that’s not good enough for the devil – or record producers in Nashville.

The thing that’s fucking all that up is hot chicks like The Wreckers singing country music. I’m pretty sure I was going to hell anyway but I planned on hitch hiking and taking my time. This puts me on the quick path to eternal Hellfire in the passenger seat of a demon Peterbuilt that runs on white crosses and Jack Daniels. It’s kinda like how the Republicans convinced middle America that helping the rich get richer and the poor get poorer was what Jesus wanted and that mini-vans are cool and NASCAR is a sport. Except here, the devil is convincing me that it’s okay to listen to country music by using hot chicks with angelic voices who dress like gypsies and have nose rings. I’m a sucker for a hard livin’, gypsy chick with a hard luck story and a nose ring. True story.

Links, for the damned.

• Check out Today’s Big Thing. (TBT)
• Cheryl Tweedy Cole singing because she is apparently person who sings (Drunken Stepfather)
• 10 ways to save money money on dates. You cheap bastard. (Crave)
• Kiera Knightly nude. She looks like me at 12. Nice rack. (Yeeeah)
• America’s Top model is still on? (IBBB)
• Rumer Willis is the Bizzaro Willis. (Allie)
• Lauren Conrad bikini pics for the Republicans. (Jordan)
• Linda Cardellini still refusing to show her sweet rack. (Bastardly)