NSFW – Fatback Media

Jet lag is killing me. I’ve had so much coffee and Red Bulls that I can’t even make a fist. Check out the stuff from around the web.

Meg Ryan is moving to Martha’s Vinyard. (Glitterati)

Hot or not: Jenna Fischer? (I vote hot) (The Bastardly)

My homie GMMR is teaming up with Buddytv.com to TVj The Office tonight. (GMMR)

Kate Bosworth goes to live in Flatland (that’s a physics joke, for you nerds) (INO)

Jennifer Aniston = not engaged. Me = doesn’t give a shit. (ICYDK)

Jerry Springer is going to dance with the stars. Then throw a turkey at them. (Subvert)

Lindsay Lohan boozes and parties with her mother. Just like my mom!. (Bricks and Stones)

Holla, y’all! See? That’s how you know I have street creds. I seamlessly combine seemingly random patois from two different subcultures and, not only proffer a tongue-in-cheek, yet innocent jab at each, but also generate another neologism in what is becoming a veritable omnium-gatherum of salient vernacular. Indeed. So here’s what’s going on around the out-hizzle, y’all. Damn. I’m good.

The newest “The Office”Toon is up at GMMR. That Jim and Pam. I swear… (GMMR)

“Dirty” Joe Simpson was a little too good at stalking Nick Lachey. (Tabloid Whore)

And for your afternoon pleasure: Giant Boobies. Jennifer Tilly still keeping it real. (The Bastardly)

Ryan Gosling talks about love and Rachel McAdams as butterflies and rainbows fly out of his ass while he rides a unicorn through fields of poppies. Dear diary. Unicorns are almost as ahhssiiiim as my girlfriend Rachel McAdams. (ICYDK)

Mary Kate Olsen has that disease where really young people look old before their time and they stoop way over. It’s a condition known as being a lazy whore. (VHT)

Jessica Biel offers a date with herself for a charity cause. The date includes, dinner a movie and a coupon for one free massage with release. (Subvert Society)

Remember what you were saying about that movie you just saw? Well, shut the fuck up and read Pajiba. They said it better. Plus nobody gives a shit that you still have a mint condition Megatron still in the original packaging. Ass. (Pajiba)

I would have linked to one of sexy Vera’s (easy fellas, she’s taken) posts over at I’m Not Obsessed, but her server crashed from too much love. Check her out over at her MySpace until she gets her self all migrated. (INO MySpace)

Not much going on today around the town so check out these links while I make up some good lies.

Jenna Jameson has the same size boobs as Victoria Beckham. Jenna Jameson is dirty hot and Victoria Beckham looks like a broom handle that sprouted volleyballs. (I’m Not Obsessed)

Looks like the British “The Office” is going to cameo on the American “The Office”. The synergistic effect of that much comedy “crossing streams” -as it were- could destroy the universe. Or else you might pee in your pants.(GMMR)

I like my girls like I like my savior: thin, bloody, crown of thorns and ready to get the fuck  down. Asia Argento can probably speak Aramaic too. (The Bastardly)

Chris Daughtry signed a record deal. I also ate a fried shrimp Po’ Boy today. Which one of those do you think I care about the most? (Tabloid Whore)

Angelina just got new tattoo of a tiger on her back because she is a Yakusa assassin. Or she’s dirty. Either way, it turns me on. (ICYDK)

Kathy Griffin’s husband stole her money so she divorced him. I would have cut his hand off. But I’m eastern that way. (Subvert Society)

(ed. note: No real reason for the Anne Hathaway shot except, she will be mine.)