So it looks like LA Law may be poised to surpass the Teletubbies in overall toughness and have called Paris Hilton back to court to discuss the validity of her recent release. TMZ report from yesterday:

Late today, L.A. City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo filed paperwork demanding a hearing before Judge Michael Sauer to determine why the Sheriff’s Department allowed Paris to get out of jail when the judge had expressly ordered her to serve out her entire sentence.

The hearing is scheduled for 9:00 AM PDT on Friday. (source)

A hearing. Man. She must be shaking in her Jimmy Choo Strappy sandals. I bet the lawyers have filed some really concise motions and the judge is prepared to hear their briefs in detail. Eeeek! I hope she’s okay!

If it was anybody else, Dog the Bounty Hunter would have broken the door down and hog tied you with cable ties faster than you could snap into a slim jim. Macho Man Randy Savage does play Dog the Bounty Hunter on TV right? ON THAT NOTE… Why does Stacy Kiebler insist on wearing so many clothes? That’s the true crime here.

A lot has been going on this week and my crack team of slaves writers is working on some blistering stories for your sexy southern perusal. I was in New York City the past couple of days promoting Sexy Southernness™ to a bevy of hot PR and Marketing execs. If there’s anything I’ve learned about the marketing industry it’s that you get a VP title when you walk in the door and all the chicks are hot. But I digress.

Stacy Keibler hasn’t been making headlines lately, meaning she hasn’t been high kicking her way into the hearts and minds of red blooded Americans while wearing little more than a scarf tied around chest. That’s American pride people. Every time Stacy Keibler did a high kick on Dancing with The Stars, a Taliban terrorist was tortured and killed by the CIA. She’s just that good. Again, digressing…

The point of this post is that Stacy Keibler should fire her publicist for letting her out in public in this dress. She might as well be going to an Amish dance. All she needs is a butter churn. Wait, that sounds kind of sexy. ANYWAY. I prefer Stacy in nothing but skin and a small amount of cotton. And not in the Hannibal Lecter way. The sexy way.

Amish = Not sexy.

Not Amish = Sexy.

Here’s a nice link post from the west saiyeed! Between the jet lag and the supermodels, I’m a bit tired, spent, and my nose won’t stop bleeding, but I have to keep it real for the kids, man. For the kids.

Zach Braff is trying to bang Rachel Bilson. Wait. that might have been me last night at an industry party. Zach is starring in a movie with her. Yeah, that’s it. (GMMR)

Britney Spears obviously didn’t get that we were laughing at her, not with her about the mumus. (Glitterati)

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are still together. Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Vince. Way to work it through. (I’m not obsessed)

Melanie Griffith lights her 17 year old daughter’s cigarette for her. Next she shows her how to be a whore and burn out way before her time. Good times. (Bricks and stones)

Stacey Keibler still hot at the ripe of old age of sexy. (Guilty Obsession)

Lindsay Lohan smoking. (The Bastardly)

It’s Friday. And that’s Pimp day. With the new site design some of the old links aren’t getting redirected properly so I’ve posted the top traffic pages here as well as some links to my blog pimps an’ ho’s. Holla.

Miss Kentucky “Lizzie” Arnold pics and images (Fatback)

More Lizzie Arnold scroll down (fatback)

Stacy Keibler and more Stacy Keibler (fatback)

The Office Supersized (GMMR) The final ep of the office could be extended…if you go and vote for it here.

Eva Mendez is dating Joaquin Phoenix. (Subvert Society) GO ahead, say it. HWAH-keeen!

Scarlett Johannson is… (IDLYITW) Doesn’t really matter what. The post has pics of Scarlett, and that’ enough for me.

Lindsay Lohan is a coke head idiot. (Yeeeah) Or something like that. Check the pics of her partying with her teeny-bopper friends.

Some chick named “Six” from some show called Blossom is a stripper. (Dark Hat) Skinemax rulez.

Pretty much worthless boy, Drew Lachey recently won the Dancing With The Stars Competition. I am not sure who Cheryl Brook is but I guess she is some kind of star in some circles.

Together with his pro partner Cheryl Burke, they foot-loosed to Hound Dog, which ended when Drew leaped over Cheryl’s shoulders; a move which during practice, they seemed skittish about pulling off during the live performance.(source)

The real news here, is not that the no-name brother of a no-name singer from a crap “boy-band” frolicked around the stage and won the big prize. The news here is that Stacy Keibler has the badonkadonk and legs so long that it makes me weep silently to myself into my pillow at night. I think that people like Stacy, who fight the good fight but never get the prize are the real heroes here. Wait, maybe that’s retarded kids. Whatever. Just look at Stacy and know she’s winner in book. And knowing is half the battle.

Update: Thanks to the Eagle Eyed Glitterati Gossip reader who noticed that I forgot to cite The Gorgeous Glitterati Gals as the source of the above quote. Oops! Alliteration rulez! Plagiarism is for losers.

Stacy Keibler Full Size Images. Scroll to see all images.