NSFW - Fatback Media

It appears that on the heels of her underwhelming sex-tape release by Vivid and the news that she may be pregnant in jail, Jessica Sierra is now not pregnant. I didn’t think they allowed coat hangers in lockdown.

A source close to Sierra’s family tells TMZ former “American Idol” star Jessica Sierra is no longer pregnant, though they would not confirm exactly what happened.

Sierra’s pregnancy was revealed in December, while the former reality star was in jail. (source)

This chick is a train wreck, but I have to give her some entrepreneurial spirit creds for capitalizing on her 15 minutes of fame by making a sex tape and getting arrested a few times. Also, for letting a dude stick his thumb in her ass while he was hitting it from behind. Jessica Sierra is a true American Idol.

Four years and a million cigarettes ago that would have been a sexy headline. Now it sounds like something I’d see played in the background of the Suck! Bang! Blow! club in Myrtle Beach. Apparently, former Idol contestant Jessica Sierra made a sex tape and a porn company is trying to market it. Is this another tragedy beset on an already downward spiraling young girl, or attempt to make bail money? YOU BE THE JUDGE.

Just when Jessica Sierra thought that facing eleven years in prison was the worst news of the week, the “American Idol” finalist learned that a major porn company has obtained a sex tape featuring Jess — and they’re preparing to distribute it.

Sources tell TMZ that the video, shot sometime this year, will be released before the end of the year, and just in time for the kickoff of “Idol’s” seventh season.

The classy Miss Sierra was arrested earlier this week for disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence. In a new audio tape of a jailhouse phone call, Sierra can be heard calling those same cops “crackers.” (source)

Is it just me or has the quality of sex tapes gone down in the past few years? When a sex tape gets leaked I want to see some raw amateur sex action with lots of freaky-deaky, not think about my mom crying in the bathtub. And because I can’t round up any pictures of my mom in the bathtub here’s another American Idol: Katherine McPhee’s rack.

PORN TRAILER UPDATE: Here it is bitches.

Completely unrelated: Get pwned by a real street fighter.

• Collen Shannon nude doing a nude video interview. Nude. (CO)
• My girlfriend just randomly sends me nude pictures to make me think of her! How could you possibly forget? (CH)
• Another edition of “Who would you rather” bang (LG)
• More Suicide girls. Nothing like slutty death to get you going. (Crave)

Vanessa Hudgens may have a cellphone sextape that stars her and hyperhetero boyfriend Zac Efron. The National Ledger reported today that a secret cellphone sex tape may be out there showing Vanessa Hudgens nude with Zac Efron. The title of the National Ledger article is Vanessa Hudgens Sex Tape With Zac Efron? Nude Photos Mess Continues.

THAT’s how you write a headline, people. Salacious!

Is there now a Vanessa Hudgens sex tape starring the pint sized hottie and her beau Zac Efron? While the photos scandal continues to burn up bandwidth, there are reports that say that the High School Musical star has a cell phone video and a short clip floating around. (source)

In other news, Cingular is now AT&T wireless. Now with more bars than ever. Buy an iPhone and pay hundreds extra to get the same shitty customer service as the rest of the USA. Poor people are stupid. Technology rulez.

Sara Evans is back in the news over her bitter divorce from Craig Schelske. Apparently, her husband is suing her for having sex with every single musician, band member and roadie on the face of the earth.

The document, filed Tuesday in Williamson County chancery court by attorneys for Evans’ husband, Craig Schelske, asks Evans to admit to affairs or romantic relationships with at least 11 people, including members of her band, members of the band 3 Doors Down, Kenny Chesney, Richard Marx and Tony Dovolani, her former Dancing With The Stars partner. (Source)

Richard Marx. WTF? God damn, Sara Evans. You’d think if she was that slutty there would be more nude photos of her on the internet. But maybe she used a pseudonym like me. Just don’t Google big black cocks in that lilly white ass or you might get a glimpse of me in action. Ladies, call me.

More Sara Evans MILFing it up with her dance instructor. Who’s gay. But she apparently slept with him too.

R&B star and Kim Kardashian sex tape co-star (?) Ray J has dreams of becoming Mayor of Carson California, not a huge stretch considering Ahnold is the guvnah and Sonny Bono was a member of Congress. Except, Ray J is a naughty, naughty boy and his sex tape controversy may be keeping him out of office.

The singer/actor has huge political ambitions and his leaked sex tape, in which he cavorted with socialite Kim Kardashian, wrecked his bid to become Carson’s mayor this year (07) - but he isn’t giving up. He tells Sister 2 Sister magazine, “I might do it at the next election and let all of this controversy die down and then hit them harder.”

“I want people to look at other things besides rapping and singing… Young people 18 and older don’t vote. When I get people to start voting and start uplifting themselves in the political side of life… I’m making a change in the world. “I’m going to keep going. I’m going for president of the United States of America.” (source)

Ahh hahaha, “hit them harder”. That’s what she said. Seriously though, I’m all for electing porn stars to public offices. John Holmes can be the Thruster of the House. Linda Lovelace can play Bush. And Elisha Cuthbert can be the Fist Lady. (Okay I know she isn’t a porn star, but she played one once and that’s basically the same thing.) Sessions of Congress would really just be consecutive days of orgies and the State of the Union addresses would be broadcasts of classic hits like Ally McFeal, Nightmare on Dyke Street and Dial A for Anal. Holy shit, the ideas are rolling…where’s my pen??

Oh. Umm. We at FB&C acknowledge free love and its consequences so before you tag it, bag it. No glove, no love. And so on. Holla!

Katie Holmes is pissed. New York Post reports that a young virgin has changed her name to Katee Holmes and will be starting a porn career, in which she will lose her virginity in her first film. Get it? Katie, Katee? Duh.

“It’s a really cheap shot,” a rep for the actress, who’s married to Tom Cruise, told Page Six. But Shy Love, an adult film vet who manages the 5-foot-9, 122-pound Katee - a small-town girl from Illinois - insisted: “Katee is using the name as a tribute to Katie, who has always portrayed an innocence in everything she’s done, beginning with ‘Dawson’s Creek.’ ”

“I know it’s pretty extreme to lose my virginity on camera, but I like the fulfillment and excitement I get from watching porn, so I figured [a movie] was the best place for me to lose it,” the not-that-innocent Katee said. “How many people wished they could relive their first experience, if not to remember it but to learn from it, right?” (source)

Man, what a whore. But guys love whores. I think they’re taken aside at an early age and shown cheap porn mags like Cheri, or Oui, forever conditioning them to hit on the cheapest, sluttiest girl in the bar. That being said, it’s like Katee stole the idea right out of my goddamned head. No doubt you will be lined up to see this nubile, young thing lose her love flower, wishing you were the one giving her the bulging love stick. What the fuck did I just say? Anyway, instead, you are crying, realizing you just lost your virginity to the 19 year-old hag babysitter who punched you in the face as she called you the wrong name. Then she made you get her McDonalds. Sucked to be you. Loser. More Katee. I mean Katie. I mean Kate.

Marilyn Manson’s new video was just released and, much like my set of assless chaps, it’s causing some raised eyebrows. Apparently Marilyn and barely legal girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood are actually having sex in the video.

It begins with a lengthy sex sequence in which Wood, who is 19, reaches a loud climax (no word on whether that’s fake). There’s also a segment in which the starlet, dressed as Lolita, rubs her crotch while watching Manson perform onstage, and another in which she lies drenched in blood.

According to a source close to the production crew, Manson and Wood elected not to fake their intercourse. Though their naughty bits are concealed on-screen by bedclothes and each other’s bodies, the logistics of the shoot ensured the crew members had an intimate view of the proceedings. (source)

I’m a pretty freaky guy. I’ll admit it. I like sexy Vampire chicks and blood and all that stuff - in the right context. The wrong context is a bloody Lolita who bangs Marilyn Manson. That just fucks up this whole Kate Beckinsale vampire thing I have had, forever. Plus, I used to like Evan Rachel Wood, but now she’s damaged goods. It’s like if you had a cute little kitten, all soft and sweet and then you let a Romanian Wolfhound fuck it in the ass. Yeah, it’s still cute, but no matter how much you were nice to it, you could never top that Wolfhound anal. That makes about as much sense as this video. If you get a boner, you’re going to hell. Like me.

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Well the Kim Kardashian sex tape brouhaha is about to be put to rest because apparently Kim Kardashian has settled with Vivid and they are pulling the tape.  I’m psyched, not only because I got to say brouhaha (say it!), but also because a) I watched for free (thanks internet!) and b) besides getting to see her big rack and her swallowing the happy ending, the vids were kinda weak.

Socialite Kim Kardashian has dropped a law suit against Vivid Entertainment for the release of Kim Kardashian Superstar, a sex video she made with her lover of three years, R&B artist Ray J, after Vivid agreed to pay her a financial settlement.

“We are pleased that Kim has dropped her legal action against us,” said Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment in a statement released to Star. “We met with her several times and finally reached a financial arrangement that we both feel is fair.” The agreement is for Vivid to Kim for her hard work — a lump sum financial settlement for the sale of the DVDs.  (SOURCE)

So what’s the difference between a jobless, snotnose socialite who gets paid to have sex and a streetwalking whore? Marketing. Here’s Kim doing nothing and being famous for it. Maybe if I give her $100 bill she’ll take of her top. I think that’s fair.

By now you’ve probably heard about the latest former American Idol contestant to embarrass her family and generally act like a drunken piece of trash, Jessica Sierra. It seems that ole’ Jess got herself into a bit of trouble on Saturday night when she got into a bar fight in Tampa and was found to have some Bolivian marching powder in her purse. She was reportedly abusive to the arresting officers after she threw a cocktail glass at a fellow booze hound.

It appears that since she was kicked off of Idol, Jessica Sierra (porno name, anyone?) has tried to get a record contact and has been WORKING AT HOOTERS. Let’s see: cocaine, alcohol, trampy name, reality show cast-off, and now my favorite delightfully tacky, yet unrefined restaurant. This girl’s life reads like a Mad Libs of American white trash. To complete the sweep, she might as well release a sex tape that was filmed in her single-wide where she smokes Kools and chugs Boone’s Farm straight from the bottle. God bless Tampa, home of 94% of America’s whores, and God bless Jessica Sierra and the plate of curly fries and wings she is currently serving to a trucker.

While I wouldn’t fuck Jessica Sierra with Kelly Clarkson’s dick, I do have a soft spot for the lovely Ms. Carrie Underwood. Something tells me that Carrie’s never donned orange hot pants and a tank top. [Ed. note: Shooter, I just know she has. If there is a a god in heaven...]

 

The not-so-anticipated sex tape of The Hills star Lauren Conrad (LC to you and me baby) and Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler, has been permanently shelved according to reports. Maybe her daddy can step in make it all better for his little angel.

A TMZ source said the alleged tape, news of which first broke on Perez Hilton, is “very vanilla” with “no hard core sex.” The source adds that LC and Jason are basically “messing around.” (source)

Fuckin’ rich kids. All that good breeding and training and they can’t even be left alone to make a proper sex tape. No hard core? WTF? Why even film it? Nobody wants to see a spoiled rich brat fumble with a bra for 10 minutes, then bust a nut while he’s trying to take his wang out of his designer jeans. In my house we don’t take lens cap off unless we’re about to break some fucking laws. This why rich women always run off with the pool boy or the gardener (or the sexy internet writer). While you rich guys are thinking about money and bitches, we’re having fun living paycheck to paycheck, drinking your scotch and fucking your wife.