NSFW – Fatback Media

In the no-shit-sherlock news event of the year, Angelina Jolie is pregnant. Really? Nooo. Really, for reals? Well, no shit. You know, I hate to beat a dead horse but I’m pretty sure we have all known that for weeks. In fact, my homie KS over at AllThisNonsense.com broke this story from a super secret and reliable source weeks ago; even though some of our elders would have you believe differently. I even added my own spin to the whole situation shortly thereafter. But no harm no foul right? Much love to our  betters. Here’s what People magazine had to say:

Angelina Jolie, 30, is expecting a baby this summer with Brad Pitt, 42,
PEOPLE reports in its latest issue. "Yes, I’m pregnant," Jolie said
Monday, shortly after arriving in the Dominican Republic. She is there
filming The Good Shepard with Matt Damon and is working with the charity Yele Haiti. Jolie and Pitt are already the parents of Maddox, 4, and Zahara, 1.

I just wonder how the natural child will be treated compared to the adopted children. Because you know how that works. Once  little ‘Aryan’ gets older, Brad and Angelina will start to favor him more and more. Pretty soon Maddox and Zahara are wearing uniforms and cleaning up after Master Jolie-Pitt and living in the attic telling each other stories of what it will be like when their real mommies and daddies, who are undoubtedly princes and princesses, come back to rescue them. They’ll come back one day, Maddie! I just know it! It’s okay Zahara…have you ever seen a unicorn cry?

Oh yeah, just so I don’t get my inbox flooded with hatemail. I am, uh…happy for them or something.

"Assuredly we bring not innocence not the world, we
bring impurity much rather: that which purifies us is trial, and trial
is by what is contrary." – John Milton.

UPDATE: The effervescently sexy gals over at Glitterati Gossip are reporting that AJ is due in May, which means she got pregnant last fall, which is what I have been saying all along.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are going to outer space. In a space ship. To outer space. Hm. Apparently the couple is planning to ride along with other celebs on the space voyage planned for 2010.

Space cadets Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have convinced Richard Branson to allow them to be aboard his Virgin Galactic Spaceship which will lift off in 2010.

The couple have paid £115,000(~$200,000 USD) each to ensure they have a seat on the jet; they will be in the company of Sigourney Weaver, Moby, Robbie Williams and William Shatner among others.

A source told the Daily Star: “Angelina and Brad are fascinated by outer space.”

“The couple will begin astronaut training in two years.”

Holy shit, Captain Kirk and Ripley? Nice. I’m not so sure I would want to be riding on the maiden voyage of a ship called the Virgin Galactic Spaceship. Besides the fact that the name sounds like something from Spaceballs, the Galactic part really scares me. I mean, at best you will probably only skim the upper atmosphere, so even the term outer space is probably a stretch. You have to be wary about overachieving eccentrics with too much time on their hands. You don’t have to watch The Last Starfighter 467 times to know you don’t get into vehicles with crazy rich guys who say they just want to go around the block a couple of times. That can only lead to clinic visits and a confusing time and during your 20’s. Wait. What? Forget it.

According to this report, Angelina Jolie used black magic to secure her relationship with Brad Pitt.

Doctor Snake, the author of cult best-seller “Voodoo Spellbook”, claims that Jolie is working voodoo on Brad. “That vial sounds suspiciously like a voodoo ‘mojo hand’, or magical charm”, he says, according to Softpedia.

Snake is skeptical that the charm is for warding off accidents, as voodoo spells using ingredients from bats are normally used as he says in the workings of a black magic love spell.

“One dark voodoo spell uses Bat’s Heart Incense, which is burnt to break up a love affair or marriage”, the Doctor says.

I am not a very religious person, but considering I grew up Southern Baptist, I know a thing or two about snakes. This “Doctor Snake” is obviously an idiot and a charlatan and should be burned at the stake. Everyone knows that ‘mojo hand’ is bullshit. You have to use a gris-gris and wrap it up real tight, ‘cher. Den you go down t’da bayou and bring back da Vodoun witch. She’ll set ya right, chile. She’ll set ya right.

Most of you have probably never heard of the the new NBC show ‘Surface’ because, if you are smart you are over watching Arrested Development while this show is on. I just got a new DVR, so I am seeing how the other half lives by watching alternate shows while recoring my fave’s. If you haven’t seen Surface here’s what the official NBC site has to say:

“Surface” is an expansive drama series that centers on the appearance
of mysterious sea creatures in the deep ocean — and tracks the lives
of a variety of characters.

I usually go for the sci-fi genre, being a quantum physical chemist and all, so this show seemed right up my alley. The heroine of the show Dr. Laura Daughtry’s (Lake Bell) character is a refreshing take on the usual stereotypical “nerd-scientist” role normally seen in in the banal, hackneyed shows on prime time tv. And by refreshing, I mean she has ginormous boobies. Ginormous. And they’re always in center frame. The producers are not sexist though, the show portrays Daughtry as:

[A] young oceanographer who discovers the secret; Government Scientist Dr.
Aleksander Cirko and Pentagon Official
Davis Lee , who both try to keep things
under wraps

One thing they don’t keep under wraps? Right, her boobies. The entire show is shot in down south near Wilmington NC and the animal effects are developed in LA. Lake Bell reportedly doesn’t like the water so the scenes in the scenes on th boat were particularly hard to shoot.

“I’m not a big fan of the ocean because
I’m scared of what lies beneath,” Bell said recently during a break in
filming of NBC’s “Surface.” Among her fears: undertow and Portuguese
man-of-war jellyfish.

“But as a pseudo-action star, I have to jump in … to literally jump in and go,” she said.

And on “Surface,” that means working on the water – be it in the ocean, on a boat or hanging out poolside.

Its slow day so I really don’t know where I am going with this but here are some more pictures of Lake Bell (after the jump).

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