Summer Glau, who most of you may know as the kung fu fighting hottie from Firefly and Serenity (and as my clingy ex-girlfriend), is set to be in a new sci-fi series in 2008 called The Sarah Conner Chronicles which is based on the the time between the second and third Terminator movies. Lena Headey will play Sarah Connor.

Setting after the event “Terminator 2: Judgment Day.” After the sacrifices of Dr. Miles Dyson and T-800 Model 101 Terminator, the Connors find themselves once again being stalked by Skynet’s agents from the future once again. Realizes that their nightmare isn’t over, they decide to stop running and focus on preventing the birth of Skynet. With the aid of the beautiful Cameron Phillips [Glau], who has a mysterious past that also link to the future, they began a quest stop the United States military from creating the program that will bring humanity to an end. (IMDB)

Man that’s pretty original. So Summer will really have to stretch her acting chops to be in a sci-fi series where she’s a beautiful girl with a mysterious past. I have a mysterious past too. Like it’s a mystery to me how my mom thought it was okay to live in a trailer park, never cook and go shopping in worn out sweats and giant curlers in her hair. If she wasn’t old and hagish, I’d think my mom was Britney Spears. True mystery!

Links for the Browncoats.

• Norwegian Chinese (Chiweegian?) hottie Natassia Malthe practically naked. (FHM)
• Wanna see a celebrity gossip site that has it’s shit together? (Dotspotter)
• Jesse from Marshall University is the cute college girl this week. MARSHALL! (CH)
• Maggie Grace still cute as ever. (Bastardly)
• Sienna Miller scraps with Kate Moss. The fur was flying. (Yeeeah)
• Sienna Miller wheelbarrowing Keira Knightly. Those brits! (Gone Hollywood)
• Jason from The Hills got engaged. I’m sorry…who did a what in the what? (IBBB)
• More from Dita Von Shutthefuckup. (Allie)
• Hillary Duff has a blended orgasm. I like mine whisked. (City rag)
• Lindsay Lohan is a rehab whore. And not the good kind. (Evil Beet)
• Victoria Beckham will be a Pussycat doll. Snore. (GoT)
• Indiana Jones 4 Spoiler Alert! They all die before the Vietnam war. Losers. (SOMG)
• Hear the voice of Jesus as he chastises Paris Hilton in Montreal. (Drunken Stepfather)
• I thought the Family Guy Star Wars ep was funny. I guess I’m a fucking loser. (BWE)
• Jessica Simpson ins short shorts. Me likee. (Jordan)

Megan Fox is all wet and she’s holding hands with Gillian Anderson. Right now, all over the planet, dudes are ruining their Comic Con T-Shirts. However, this is just a scene from the movie How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, which is currently in production. The movie stars Simon Pegg (from the amazing Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz), so by all rights this will be an hilarious movie. That said, it can’t hurt your odds to have Megan Fox and Gillian Anderson hold hands. What can hurt are your thoughtless words. Sometimes these foolish game can cut like a knife, you know? Hold me.

Luke Skywalker (actor Mark Hamill) says he envies the the actors who worked on the Star Wars prequels because they got to be near Natalie Portman. He even admitted that he finds Natalie more attractive than Carrie Fisher, who played Princess Leia.

He says: “Nothing against Carrie – because I had a great crush on her as well – but there’s just something about Natalie’s stilted dialogue. She’s gorgeous and one of the great beauties of the world.” (source)

Dude. Padme is your mom and Princess Leia is your sister. That’s like Galactic Taboo Porn. That would be all fucked up, except for the fact that Star Wars isn’t real and I thought Mark Hamill was gay? The real question is: who’s hotter- Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia back in the day or Natalie Portman as Queen Amidala? I’ll have to consult the Jedi council and my penis for this one.

Sci-Fi star Trisha Helfer sets aside the “Six-y” Cylon world to pose for Playboy. See what I did there? Who says girls can’t love sci-fi?

Tricia Helfer plays an evil machine on “Battlestar Galactica,” but the sexy Cylon may cause her fans to short-circuit when they see the latest edition of Playboy.

“I hope people like them,” Helfer told The Post of her 10-page nude pictorial shot by famed shutterbug Sante D’Orazio. “I know I do.” (source)

I’m not surprised. It’s always the unsuspecting ones, like the Sci-Fi chick, or the Catholic school English teacher, the burger joint French fry queen…your mom. Trekkie convention is just a glorified name for orgy and Deep Space Nine sounds like low-budget porn on Cinemax After Dark (PPV!). And the Twelve Colonies of Kobol are simply nudist, self-indulgent, hedonistic havens. Regardless, Trisha’s hot and I would park my Enterprise in her Final Frontier any day. Let’s just say I’ll take a ‘ NumberSix’ with ‘7 of 9′ any day. I don’t know, whatever, just go with it. Nerd. Get your game hand ready, here’s more science fictionly cyborg semi-nakedness. By the way, these photos are not from Playboy.

UPDATE: PLAYBOY IMAGES REMOVED BY REQUEST

And by request, I mean Tatyana from Playboy Inc complained to my hosting company, Godaddy, instead of contacting me and they shut my site down. I moved to a new server, but the images from this post only exist in my mind. And in Tatyana’s mind. Because she’s dirty. If you have any royalty free Tricia Helfer’s let me know.

Angelina Jolie, 30, is expecting a baby this summer with Brad Pitt, 42,
PEOPLE reports in its latest issue. "Yes, I’m pregnant," Jolie said
Monday, shortly after arriving in the Dominican Republic. She is there
filming The Good Shepard with Matt Damon and is working with the charity Yele Haiti. Jolie and Pitt are already the parents of Maddox, 4, and Zahara, 1.

I just wonder how the natural child will be treated compared to the adopted children. Because you know how that works. Once  little ‘Aryan’ gets older, Brad and Angelina will start to favor him more and more. Pretty soon Maddox and Zahara are wearing uniforms and cleaning up after Master Jolie-Pitt and living in the attic telling each other stories of what it will be like when their real mommies and daddies, who are undoubtedly princes and princesses, come back to rescue them. They’ll come back one day, Maddie! I just know it! It’s okay Zahara…have you ever seen a unicorn cry?

Oh yeah, just so I don’t get my inbox flooded with hatemail. I am, uh…happy for them or something.

"Assuredly we bring not innocence not the world, we
bring impurity much rather: that which purifies us is trial, and trial
is by what is contrary." – John Milton.

UPDATE: The effervescently sexy gals over at Glitterati Gossip are reporting that AJ is due in May, which means she got pregnant last fall, which is what I have been saying all along.