NSFW – Fatback Media

Scarlett Johansson’s ex-boyfriend Jack Antonoff is not happy with her and he has immortalized this in a new song by his band The Steel Train. The song reportedly mentions Scarlett by name.

The Steel Train singer accuses the lost in Translation beauty her of letting fame go to her head.

He even names her in the song Better Love: “This girl had it kinda sweet / Till fame swept her off her feet / She sees nothing she did before / Hey, Scarlett, you’re not the same.” (source)

That Jack Antonoff is wickedly manly. He really showed her. Writing a song about the girl who dumped you in order to get her back or make her pay is about the most flaccid, unrealistic way to get a girl back. It has no passion. It has no flair. I prefer to kidnap her family as a show of my undying devotion. See! See how much I love you? Once they’re all taped up they can’t laugh at you for wearing her dresses anymore. Who’s laughing now, dad?

So, sexy midwest hotness Tina over at Glitterati scooped me on this but I though that it warranted comment anyway. Apparently, Katie Cassidy is going to be Lucy Ewing and the role will not go to Jessica Simpson or Scarlett Johansson. I reported this story a few weeks ago so I will again proclaim that have magical powers and that I can see into the future. That doesn’t really make sense but neither does making a feature length film based on a 1980′s series that was 80% cast with aging alcoholic actors with story lines that at best were hackneyed re-hashes of Bonanza and Big Valley plotlines drowned with Jim Beam and southern drawls.

Although the show is considered to be the most successful prime time soap opera ever, it arguably jumped the shark in the 1979-80 season (Season 2) during the ‘Who Shot JR?’ story line that, despite the fact that it captivated an entire nation of viewers and even the Turkish Parliament, received backlash by critics for a backfilled script that seemed written after the fact. I was sleeping in Incredible Hulk Underoos, in my General Lee replica bed with Dukes of Hazzard sheets at the time so I can only go with what the old folks tell me happened. God bless ‘em. So, if that isn’t boring enough for you, check out the insanely accurate Wikipedia for more on Dallas.

Oh. Here are some more images of the insanely cute and powder fresh, Katie Cassidy.

Early morning munchies have got me. Take a look around the yard and see what’s going on.

Lass Bass is gay. So fucking what? (Glitterati)

Veronica Mars at ComicCon. Kristen Bell just got 117.89% hotter. (GMMR)

Halle Berry is pregnant with a hot male model’s baby. (And no, it’s not me) (I’m not obsessed)

Scarlett Johansson at the Scoop premier. (ICYDK)

Tori Spelling at the pawn shop because her mother is bitch. (Bricks and Stones)

Eva Longoria is a man-handed midget. (The Bastardly)

Review of Clerks II (Pajiba)

Breaking News! Well not really. I always wanted to say that. Scarlett Johansson has reportedly been given the role of Lucy Ewing in the upcoming, and completely unnecessary, film Dallas. We last reported that the role would go to sultry Katie Cassidy but apparently that has changed.

LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) – Scarlett Johansson is reportedly set to star in the new ‘Dallas’ movie.

The actress isView the profile for Paris Hilton on Celebrity Spotlight being tipped for the role of Lucy Ewing in the big screen version of the hit 80s soap opera.

It is believed Scarlett beat off stiff competition from Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for the coveted role.

A source told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “Scarlett can act the pants off Paris and Nicole.” (source)

A source once told me that Scarlett could act my pants off too, but it mostly happens with my hands when I look at sexy pictures of her. I’ve got the magic touch ladies. Here are a couple of lo-res screen caps from her new movie Scoop.