NSFW – Fatback Media

This is Majandra Delfino wearing a see through, tattered wife-beater to a red carpet event. I had never heard of her before I saw the pictures, but apparently she was on a show on the ultra-not-watched WB network. I heard that she’s like a meaner, hotter, trashy younger version of Scarlett Johansson. I actually heard that just now when I said it. She’s probably one of those girls that gets really mad at you when you have sex like it’s a street fight. Which usually ends up with you crying in the shower in a pool of blood and hair wondering why the phone cord is ripped out of the wall and the windows are spray painted black.
I was feeling kinda pervy when I posted these because she looks like she’s in the 9th grade, but it turns out that she’s actually older than Scarlett so I can skip the cilice for today.

Tuesday is the new Monday on a holiday week. So, I guess a few of you have case of the Tuesdays… Here’s something to cheer you right up. Links!

• Paris Hilton smokes the dank and remains above the law. She.Must.Be.Stopped. (Bumpshack)
• Abi Titmuss is half-nakedly writing another post in a bastardly way. (Bastardly)
• Cocaine: The energy drink! It’s got flavor crystals, but don’t snort it. (College Humor)
• Vince Vaughn makes out with a serious bunny in an elevator. Always double-down on 11. (Yeeeah)
• Scarlett Johansson gets an HIV test 2 times a year with the rest of the whores, strippers and porn stars. But she’s monogamous!(I’m Not Obsessed)
• Jessica Simpson’s dad gets creepier by the minute. (Derek Hail)
• Jessica Biel can bunch up her butt cheeks and rip ya dick off… (IDLYITW)
• Brook Hogan minus the grillz, and partially nude is kinda hot. (Subvert)

Shout out to Columbus for giving all of you a day off yesterday and introducing disease and weird hair to the new world.

Super hot Scarlett Johansson was honored with Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” Award and she will grace the pages of the upcoming mid-October issue of the fashion magazine. The magazine decided to take a different approach with the photo-shoot and go for a decidely non-glamorous look.

On the cover, she wears a bra and a white Calvin Klein mini-dress; In a series of photos inside (showing her as an “enigmatic trailer-park temptress,” the magazine says), she wears cleavage-baring black lingerie paired with an open white robe, among other get-ups. (source)

The subject was purposely obfuscated in these pictures because Esquire was running a “who is she?” campaign at Esquire.com in order to generate buzz for the issue. First of all, I think my penis speaks for for everyone when I say that we called that one from the start. I’m rarely ever wrong about a great rack or a great ass. Although, there was that tall chick with the big adam’s apple at that Mexican Cowboy bar in San Jose. Turns out Juan is NOT a nickname for Juanita. Tequila is anti-bacterial, right?

Scarlett Johansson recently told Life & Style Magazine that she likes her womanly curves and doesn’t aspire to be ridiculously skinny like other girls in Hollywood; even going so far as to admit that she doesn’t always watch what she eats (like Snickers bars) to keep her figure.

“I’m curvy – I’m never going to be 5′ 11″ and 120 pounds,” she says. “But I feel lucky to have what I’ve got.”

The 21-year-old Black Dahlia star says her favorite indulgence is a slice of veggie pizza and a Diet Coke or a wedge of homemade key lime pie (she loves baking). A typical dinner is Chinese takeout: “A little white rice, a little chicken, some egg drop soup …”
(source)

It’s really refreshing to see such a naturally beautiful woman have that attitude and feel comfortable with her body the way Scarlett does. Of course it’s easy to not exercise and eat like shit when you’re 21 and look like you were carved from Italian marble. Unfortunately, there’s something that Scarlett doesn’t know about yet. It’s called turning 25. At 25, all that shit you’ve been eating starts to hang around and get comfortable on places like your ass and your thighs and pretty soon those stretch pants don’t seem like such a good idea. And all the tantric sex in the world won’t do a god damn thing. Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale realized this early and that’s why they work every day to be fit, yet maintain their curves. I’m not saying that Scarlett needs to start working out, I’m saying that I only date girls who are under 25. Call me ladies.