NSFW – Fatback Media

Miss America and former party girl Tara Conner is out of rehab and into spinning some PR. Matt Lauer of the Today Show will get the only scheduled live interview on Thursday and a taped interview for Dateline will air Thursday night. In a pre-interview statement picked up by E! news, Tara expounds on being a role model, finding inner peace and her stint in rehab.

“I would not change my past, because it gave me my future,” she told NBC News in preparation for her chat with Lauer. “I learned the tools to live a clean and sober life of recovery. From rehab, I gain sobriety.” (source)

Fuck that. She’s a 21 year old religiously oppressed southern girl with a great rack and an appetite for destruction. Of course she partied when she got to the big city. That’s what they do. Sending a horny 21 year old model to rehab for sex and drugs is like cutting off a unicorn’s horn and stabbing him in the eye with it. Then giving him an eye-patch to wear so he thinks that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t really mean to do it. Then you laugh at him in front of the other mythical beasts. And he just cries silent tears from his one good eye that hit the ground and turn into black rainbows of dispair as the magic leaves this world forever. Because he’s a pussy.

Paris Hilton never ceases to 1. amaze me, b. be naked, or Stardate 2517.09. be a filthy spoiled whore. That said, I think if she were held a little more as a child she probably wouldn’t be such a drugged out whore. She would just be a plain old vanilla whore like the rest of us. Speaking of filthy vanilla whores, here’s an oldie but nudey pic of Paris’s’s’s’s mom classin’ up tha jizzoint with some Baby Boomer titties. Rrreow. I love Cat Stevens. And apostrophes’.

• Sophia Bush at the Young Hollywood Top 20. Just because. (Bastardly)
• J-Lo’s dad is a Scientologist and a maker of hot latin asses. (Socialite’s Life)
• Eva Longoria is kind of a bitch. (Celeb Gossip Junkie)
• Pink says fur is for fatties. Kinda like her beave. (Pop on the Pop)
• Paris Hilton somehow remaina slutty after all these years. With VIDEO! (DS)
• Here’s QuiteFamo.us the Celebrity Search Engine. (QuiteFamo.us)
• Isaiah Washingtn is in Rehab for for being a bigot? But I thought he loved CRACK(ers)? (TMZ)
• Naked Collge Girl Boobies to crash your work internet filters. (College Humor)

“I think her name’s Lucy cuz they all call her Loos…”

This is Rebecca Loos nude on a beach full of people who are not nude. From what I hear, the only reason she’s famous is because she had an affair with David Beckham, which apparently in Europe makes you a superstar. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good whore and a good whore story, it’s just that this one is about as exciting as watching someone masturbate a pig. Anyway, the dude she’s with is Matt Ridge, who besides having a Soap Opera name and a six pack like me, plays rugby for some team somewhere. Or something. According to Wikipedia, Rebecca is not only a hot, mostly naked tramp, she also speaks 4 languages and is bi-sexual, making her a real whore’s whore. And my personal hero. Here’s more of Rebecca “I’m not that” Loos and some other whores from around the web.

I’ll have to post the rest later because my server is being raped by all of you today. Also it’s hard to type with one hand. And now: Internet whores.

• Thor is back baby. Nice hammer. (Gutter Bleed)
• Gay Phone sex operators (Crave)
• College Whores (College Humor)
• Jessica Beil: Drunken StepWhore (DS)
• Joanna Krupa: Fur Whore (Yeeeah)
• Doda Rabczewska: Polish Whore. (Bastardly)
• Tom Brady: Your defense choked Whore. (Bumpshack)
• Mena Suvari nude: American Pie Whore (Subvert)

Sci-Fi star Trisha Helfer sets aside the “Six-y” Cylon world to pose for Playboy. See what I did there? Who says girls can’t love sci-fi?

Tricia Helfer plays an evil machine on “Battlestar Galactica,” but the sexy Cylon may cause her fans to short-circuit when they see the latest edition of Playboy.

“I hope people like them,” Helfer told The Post of her 10-page nude pictorial shot by famed shutterbug Sante D’Orazio. “I know I do.” (source)

I’m not surprised. It’s always the unsuspecting ones, like the Sci-Fi chick, or the Catholic school English teacher, the burger joint French fry queen…your mom. Trekkie convention is just a glorified name for orgy and Deep Space Nine sounds like low-budget porn on Cinemax After Dark (PPV!). And the Twelve Colonies of Kobol are simply nudist, self-indulgent, hedonistic havens. Regardless, Trisha’s hot and I would park my Enterprise in her Final Frontier any day. Let’s just say I’ll take a ‘ NumberSix’ with ‘7 of 9′ any day. I don’t know, whatever, just go with it. Nerd. Get your game hand ready, here’s more science fictionly cyborg semi-nakedness. By the way, these photos are not from Playboy.

UPDATE: PLAYBOY IMAGES REMOVED BY REQUEST

And by request, I mean Tatyana from Playboy Inc complained to my hosting company, Godaddy, instead of contacting me and they shut my site down. I moved to a new server, but the images from this post only exist in my mind. And in Tatyana’s mind. Because she’s dirty. If you have any royalty free Tricia Helfer’s let me know.