So it looks like LA Law may be poised to surpass the Teletubbies in overall toughness and have called Paris Hilton back to court to discuss the validity of her recent release. TMZ report from yesterday:

Late today, L.A. City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo filed paperwork demanding a hearing before Judge Michael Sauer to determine why the Sheriff’s Department allowed Paris to get out of jail when the judge had expressly ordered her to serve out her entire sentence.

The hearing is scheduled for 9:00 AM PDT on Friday. (source)

A hearing. Man. She must be shaking in her Jimmy Choo Strappy sandals. I bet the lawyers have filed some really concise motions and the judge is prepared to hear their briefs in detail. Eeeek! I hope she’s okay!

If it was anybody else, Dog the Bounty Hunter would have broken the door down and hog tied you with cable ties faster than you could snap into a slim jim. Macho Man Randy Savage does play Dog the Bounty Hunter on TV right? ON THAT NOTE… Why does Stacy Kiebler insist on wearing so many clothes? That’s the true crime here.

R&B star and Kim Kardashian sex tape co-star (?) Ray J has dreams of becoming Mayor of Carson California, not a huge stretch considering Ahnold is the guvnah and Sonny Bono was a member of Congress. Except, Ray J is a naughty, naughty boy and his sex tape controversy may be keeping him out of office.

The singer/actor has huge political ambitions and his leaked sex tape, in which he cavorted with socialite Kim Kardashian, wrecked his bid to become Carson’s mayor this year (07) – but he isn’t giving up. He tells Sister 2 Sister magazine, “I might do it at the next election and let all of this controversy die down and then hit them harder.”

“I want people to look at other things besides rapping and singing… Young people 18 and older don’t vote. When I get people to start voting and start uplifting themselves in the political side of life… I’m making a change in the world. “I’m going to keep going. I’m going for president of the United States of America.” (source)

Ahh hahaha, “hit them harder”. That’s what she said. Seriously though, I’m all for electing porn stars to public offices. John Holmes can be the Thruster of the House. Linda Lovelace can play Bush. And Elisha Cuthbert can be the Fist Lady. (Okay I know she isn’t a porn star, but she played one once and that’s basically the same thing.) Sessions of Congress would really just be consecutive days of orgies and the State of the Union addresses would be broadcasts of classic hits like Ally McFeal, Nightmare on Dyke Street and Dial A for Anal. Holy shit, the ideas are rolling…where’s my pen??

Oh. Umm. We at FB&C acknowledge free love and its consequences so before you tag it, bag it. No glove, no love. And so on. Holla!