Hey, ya’ll. It’s been a great week for news so I wanted to throw in some sexy southern weekend links for you hungover slobs who won’t be leaving the house today. To wit.

• Drew Barrymore bikini pics. Not bad for an old chick. (DS)
• Naked college girl from my old school. Go Cocks. Classy as usual. (CH)
• Seacrest is out. Well not really but wants Matt Lauer’s junk. (Glitterati)
• AntonellaBarba poll: Are the BJ pics for real? You decide. (Bastardly)
• Sharon Stone cougars it up in Paris. I’d hit it. I like the crazy ones. (Smart)
• Jennifer Aniston Topless video. Prolly fake, but it’s still boobies. (Gossip or Truth)
• Anna Kornikova has a case of the Mondays (Jordan)
• Anna Nicole’s body is rotting (Derek Hail)
• Get you very own NSFW T-Shirt you dirty bitches. (FBC)
• Pink in a bikini. I’m turned on but a little frightened. Hold me. (Allie)

Paris Hilton never ceases to 1. amaze me, b. be naked, or Stardate 2517.09. be a filthy spoiled whore. That said, I think if she were held a little more as a child she probably wouldn’t be such a drugged out whore. She would just be a plain old vanilla whore like the rest of us. Speaking of filthy vanilla whores, here’s an oldie but nudey pic of Paris’s’s’s’s mom classin’ up tha jizzoint with some Baby Boomer titties. Rrreow. I love Cat Stevens. And apostrophes’.

• Sophia Bush at the Young Hollywood Top 20. Just because. (Bastardly)
• J-Lo’s dad is a Scientologist and a maker of hot latin asses. (Socialite’s Life)
• Eva Longoria is kind of a bitch. (Celeb Gossip Junkie)
• Pink says fur is for fatties. Kinda like her beave. (Pop on the Pop)
• Paris Hilton somehow remaina slutty after all these years. With VIDEO! (DS)
• Here’s QuiteFamo.us the Celebrity Search Engine. (QuiteFamo.us)
• Isaiah Washingtn is in Rehab for for being a bigot? But I thought he loved CRACK(ers)? (TMZ)
• Naked Collge Girl Boobies to crash your work internet filters. (College Humor)

Nothing like some old School Rose McGowan see-thru action circa Marilyn Manson to get you through a Thursday. Like my granny would say, ‘ain’t no tellin’ what’s been up in there’. (The Bastardly)

Donald Trump fired Carolyn Lepcher for being a bitch. He hired his daughter Ivanka because she’s hot and he wants to bang her in a rude, fatherly way. (Glitterati)

Gay’s on a plane! John Travolta seen kissing his boyfriend before boarding plane. So I guess a “no d’uh” is in order. And also, who gives a shit that he’s gay? I do call dibs on Kelly Preston. I am a scientology sorcerer. Of love.(IDLYITW)

Office Thursday on GiveMeMyRemote.com. Two weeks till you find out Jim’s banging “Lan Jevinson” and Pam is pregnant. Suckers.(GMMR)

Pink looks hot for once. Although I admit I was a little turned on when she pissed in the parking lot. I like ‘em dirty. (INO)

Lindsay Lohan In Maui in a bikini doesn’t make her less of a whore. (Drunken Stepfather)

I already get some weird search traffic but this will probably set my servers on fire. Ever the lady, here’s the often maligned, but constantly elegant singer Pink, relieving herself from a parked car on the pavement at the beach. Apparently there is a whole section of porn dedicated to this sort of thing. Personally, I’ve never really been into it. I stopped most of that really crazy shit a few years ago after a visit to La Casa del Burro del Diablo in Mexico. I drank a lot of tequila and I don’t really remember much after they put me in that leather swing under the donkey. I know we never wrote, but we had a connection.

British opera singer Charlotte Church is reportedly lashing out at Pink after she made some disparaging comments about her boyfriend. The voluptuous singer intimated that the insults were nothing more that a publicity stunt for Pink’s new album.

Charlotte Church has hit back at Pink after the singer recently slammed her boyfriend, Welsh rugby ace Gavin Henson, as “extremely vain”.

Just Like Pill singer Pink accused Henson of commanding a cameraman to show his face on the monitor so he could see “how good” he looked when they met on British TV’s Friday Night With Jonathan Ross show.

But Church says, “She’s desperate for PR, what with her new album.

“I think she said it because Gav turned down an offer to be in her next video.

“We were stunned because after the show, she posed for pictures with him and gave him loads of her CDs. Why do that if she didn’t like him?”.(source)

First of all, what? Who is Gavin Henson? Why were Pink and Charlotte Church even talking? Charlotte is all PBS and Pink is all Public Access. I think that they should fight it out. At my house. Naked. No blades allowed. I’ll have to say though, that I think Pink can probably kick Charlotte’s ass, but then again, she could probably kick my ass.

Charlotte Church is one of the few child performers that has successfully passed from jalbait to full-on woman with all her curves intact and junk securely stowed in the trunk. She’s got just the right ratio of lady lumps vs. badonkadonk. I like my women well fed.

More images of Charlotte after the jump. Some are NSFW!

UPDATE: Thanks to Brian for reminding me once again that I can’t type for shit and I need a copy editor.