NSFW – Fatback Media

 

Singer Avril Lavigne is stirring up gossip over her image for the June cover of Blender magazine, where she is featured seemingly naked from the waist up. Oooh, sinner.

Truth be told, Lavigne revealed to us before taking the stage last night, the photo shoot was a little more innocent than you think. “Actually, I’m not topless on the cover,” she said. “I was wearing a tube top, and they just kind of put a banner on top of it.”

Even if she’s not topless, the 22-year-old is still flaunting her inner bad girl. “The Blender shoot was really fun because it was super rock and roll — we had a bottle of [whiskey] and ate cupcakes,” she said. “Everyone was super cool. It was definitely a different kind of photo shoot for me.” (source)

Cupcakes are so fucking rock‘n’roll. I bet if you slice open Mick Jagger, (besides dust) you’d find a tourniquet, a stripper and dozens of tiny cupcakes. Chocolate ones, with fuckin’ sprinkles. Becuase nothing says rock like tiny baked confections. Except, not. Avril is anything but rock‘n’roll. She’s a 22 year old whino from Canada who thinks she’s badass because she cusses and dates sk8er bois. If she were a real rock chick, she’d be naked in that photo giving Joe Perry a handjob while another girl tongues her Lizard King breast tattoo. But most importantly, she wouldn’t be talking about it because she wouldn’t have to. Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak. Whores. Here’s Avril at the Maxim Hot 100 Party.

Petra Nemcova was the main attraction at the her charity event for Helping Hearts Fund which supports underprivileged kids in Asia. The fund raiser which was held at the Gramercy Park Hotel, was packed with supporters and some A-List stars like Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, whose mere presence apparently saves children all over the world.

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones literally did one lap around the rooftop and posed for a quick a photo-op with Nemcova before leaving less than five minutes after arriving. Radar later asked Nemcova how much Douglas and Jones donated to her charity: “Oh, their presence here is enough of a donation,” said the tactful beauty. So does that mean they didn’t pony up any cash? “No, they didn’t make an actual donation.” (source)

In their defense, they report that they did not realize that it was a fund raiser and besides they probably have charities that they give to in private. Like me. I support single moms by getting my hair cut at Great Clips or Hair Cuttery. I also support child hunger by getting extra lap dances from strippers who I can tell are still lactating. Think globally. Act locally.

More Petra because Michael Douglass see through makes me vomit in my mouth a little bit.

Miss America and former party girl Tara Conner is out of rehab and into spinning some PR. Matt Lauer of the Today Show will get the only scheduled live interview on Thursday and a taped interview for Dateline will air Thursday night. In a pre-interview statement picked up by E! news, Tara expounds on being a role model, finding inner peace and her stint in rehab.

“I would not change my past, because it gave me my future,” she told NBC News in preparation for her chat with Lauer. “I learned the tools to live a clean and sober life of recovery. From rehab, I gain sobriety.” (source)

Fuck that. She’s a 21 year old religiously oppressed southern girl with a great rack and an appetite for destruction. Of course she partied when she got to the big city. That’s what they do. Sending a horny 21 year old model to rehab for sex and drugs is like cutting off a unicorn’s horn and stabbing him in the eye with it. Then giving him an eye-patch to wear so he thinks that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t really mean to do it. Then you laugh at him in front of the other mythical beasts. And he just cries silent tears from his one good eye that hit the ground and turn into black rainbows of dispair as the magic leaves this world forever. Because he’s a pussy.

“I think her name’s Lucy cuz they all call her Loos…”

This is Rebecca Loos nude on a beach full of people who are not nude. From what I hear, the only reason she’s famous is because she had an affair with David Beckham, which apparently in Europe makes you a superstar. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good whore and a good whore story, it’s just that this one is about as exciting as watching someone masturbate a pig. Anyway, the dude she’s with is Matt Ridge, who besides having a Soap Opera name and a six pack like me, plays rugby for some team somewhere. Or something. According to Wikipedia, Rebecca is not only a hot, mostly naked tramp, she also speaks 4 languages and is bi-sexual, making her a real whore’s whore. And my personal hero. Here’s more of Rebecca “I’m not that” Loos and some other whores from around the web.

I’ll have to post the rest later because my server is being raped by all of you today. Also it’s hard to type with one hand. And now: Internet whores.

• Thor is back baby. Nice hammer. (Gutter Bleed)
• Gay Phone sex operators (Crave)
• College Whores (College Humor)
• Jessica Beil: Drunken StepWhore (DS)
• Joanna Krupa: Fur Whore (Yeeeah)
• Doda Rabczewska: Polish Whore. (Bastardly)
• Tom Brady: Your defense choked Whore. (Bumpshack)
• Mena Suvari nude: American Pie Whore (Subvert)