Can this even be real? How can Pete Doherty still be alive? Are there any drugs left to do in England? It looks like now he’s just rubbing the shit on his face with a hand full of broken glass . The dude is scabby and bleeding from 1001 different spots, including his fingernails, he continues to do drugs and somehow he convinced a (former) supermodel that he’s a rockstar and not the grim specter of death. If I saw him on the street I would call the CDC with a level 5 containment emergency, not ask for his autograph. When people look like this in Africa they firebomb the whole village and call it day. Somehow, Pete and his hemorrhagic fever can still get gigs with his band and avoid prosecution for drug violations time after time. PS. Joe Black here, just announced his engagement at a recent show. Love is in the air. Oh, and so is a fine aerosol of diseased, pussey blood.

Suddenly skipping alongside him on stage was that other emblem of the druggie world, Kate Moss, making a fleeting appearance to support her man – the soiled supermodel had time enough to stick up a middle finger at the audience.

So ladylike. And there was Doherty telling the cheering crowd he was “dedicating this song to my fiancee”. (source)

Here’s Pete showing how close we all are to meeting out final repose. Ah, love. “O, how this spring of love resembleth
The uncertain glory of an April day…” (The rest of the pics are Marissa Miller so I don’t slash my wrists- ed.)

Paris Hilton never ceases to 1. amaze me, b. be naked, or Stardate 2517.09. be a filthy spoiled whore. That said, I think if she were held a little more as a child she probably wouldn’t be such a drugged out whore. She would just be a plain old vanilla whore like the rest of us. Speaking of filthy vanilla whores, here’s an oldie but nudey pic of Paris’s’s’s’s mom classin’ up tha jizzoint with some Baby Boomer titties. Rrreow. I love Cat Stevens. And apostrophes’.

• Sophia Bush at the Young Hollywood Top 20. Just because. (Bastardly)
• J-Lo’s dad is a Scientologist and a maker of hot latin asses. (Socialite’s Life)
• Eva Longoria is kind of a bitch. (Celeb Gossip Junkie)
• Pink says fur is for fatties. Kinda like her beave. (Pop on the Pop)
• Paris Hilton somehow remaina slutty after all these years. With VIDEO! (DS)
• Here’s QuiteFamo.us the Celebrity Search Engine. (QuiteFamo.us)
• Isaiah Washingtn is in Rehab for for being a bigot? But I thought he loved CRACK(ers)? (TMZ)
• Naked Collge Girl Boobies to crash your work internet filters. (College Humor)

Hey y’all. It’s Halloween, my favorite holiday and it’s time for the 1st annual FB&C Celebrity Halloween Costume Contest. Our panel of expert judges, mostly consisting of me, have reviewed the top celebrity costumes this year and we have decided on the winner. We’d like to thank the celebrities for all the really inspired costumes this year. We can’t say for sure, but from the look of things, most of our contestants planned out their costumes tens of minutes before leaving the house. Sweet! Here are the contestants. Continue after the jump.

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty. Grade: F. I can totally tell who they are. If they were going for baby genetics destroyers then they get a B-.

Rocker Pete Doherty and supermodel Kate Moss have announced their wedding date. Never a couple to let debilitating addiction stand on their way, the lush event will be held in January in Spain.

The day after Babyshambles announced they have postponed the rest of their tour to give Doherty more time for rehab, we now hear Pete and Kate have set a wedding date. The big event will apparently take place on January 16th, 2007 in the notorious party town of Ibiza, Spain. January 16th also happens to be Kate’s 33rd birthday. The event will cost an estimated $3.7 million dollars and will be attended by Sir Elton John, Sir Richard Branson, Jude Law and Jade Jagger. The couple plans to sell their wedding pictures to the highest bidder and then honeymoon in the United States. (source)

Holy shit, Pete Doherty is hot. But OMG not. I wish the best of luck to the emaciated, ghostly pair. Nothing like getting married in a raucous European party city to keep the rehab in check. I think you’d probably be more successful at scrubbing the crabs off your pubes with Paris Hilton’s pubes than you would staying off drugs in Ibiza. The last time I attended a junkie wedding in Europe, I woke up the next day with sticky hair, a hangover, a shamrock tattoo down there and a used IUD. Don’t ask. Do you suppose the party favors will include a needle and a spoon? I’m awful.

Pete Doherty, who has absolutely no reason to breath our air, got arrested again this week for drug possession. I don’t think I could be less surprised unless Paris Hilton was found with her mouth around a diseased Greek cock- on camera.

LONDON – Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty was arrested Thursday, hours after a court appearance on drugs possession, according to media reports.

Police said a 27-year-old man was stopped in east London just after 2 p.m. by plainclothes officers and arrested on suspicion of possession of drugs with intent to supply. They did not name the man arrested, but the British Broadcasting Corp. reported it was Doherty.

Earlier, Judge Jane McIvor had ordered Doherty to attend an 18-month drug rehabilitation program, placed him on two years’ probation and banned him from driving for six months because of drugs possession.(source)

Wow. Drugs? No. Drugs? Really? No. Drugs? Why do they even arrest him in the first place? They pop him for possession and he uses his one phone call to score coke for when he makes bail. “Roight, Ka’e. Bring th’stuff ’round in about phree ‘owers to me flat, luv. Oi, I’m in the clink, right? Fockin’ coppers. S’all barney, in’it? Jus’ fockin’ doo it, right?”

I hate to get all medieval on you today, but who will rid us of this meddlesome [bastard]? I can’t say what the fuck enough about this. But, what the fuck? For reals. What the fuck is with this guy? I can’t believe that he can walk down the street unscathed with that face. If I saw him in public I would spontaneously bludgeon him to death all 28 Days Later style. Totally involuntary reaction to his proximity. I don’t even think it’s a crime. It’s biological, man. Hypothalamus shit. I had to take two rohypnols just to stop myself from clawing the LCD screen from my laptop as I wrote this. Which sucks because, how am I going to let chicks date rape me if I’m out of roofies?

I rarely ever throw around my weight as an internet super star but if someone will beat him senseless and pay a homeless person to ass rape him with a broken Mad Dog 20/20 bottle I will give you a Fatback and Collards T-Shirt. For real.

Disclaimer: Not that I’m worried about Pete having a lawyer or anything, but that was obviously not a real incitement of violence towards him. I mean, it’s not like he’d be hanging around the Thames Magistrate Court in London for his arraignment or anything so I wouldn’t look there at all. Peace is the answer. Oi.