NSFW – Fatback Media

Hey isn’t that Paris Hilton driving?  “But golly“, you might say (because you’re so naive and stupid),”she has a suspended license, FOR DUI and she was already arrested for driving under suspension. She can’t have been granted driving privileges this soon.” Well guess what dumbass? She did. In case you forgot, the world is completely fucked up and rich whores like this always win and people who try to do the right thing always get fucked in the ass by the rich whore’s daddy.

Hilton was spotted behind the wheel of her Bentley again early this morning, sparking reports in the US that she had broken the law once more. However, her lawyer Howard Weitzman confirmed to TMZ.com that her driving suspension had been lifted, allowing her back on the road. (source)

I’m from South Carolina and we have the loosest DUI laws in the land. Everyone drives drunk. It’s not uncommon to get another DUI on the way to your DUI hearing. Free ride! You can literally be in court for your 12th DUI and, as long as you didn’t kill anyone, you can go home that day on a personal recognizance bond. You get to go home, but you know what they don’t give you? A god damn drivers license. You lose that shit forever. But somehow in LA, if you’re a bazillionaire, they just wipe the dead guy’s blood of the lamination, clean the hair and bone fragments out of your grill and send you on your way. Toodles!

I have no idea what this is from, but I am 1000% sure that I don’t care. Jessica Alba, tan and falling out of a bikini is enough to make me want to quit my job and fucking move to an island. How many times do you have to watch Office Space to realize that you’re that guy? Some days I just think, man this place would really fucking burn. LINKS!

• Jessica Alba in her underwear to make you hate your job even more. (IDLYITW)
• The entire movie Office Space reshot using Peeps. FUCKING PEEPS! I love peeps. (Youtube)
• Cameron Diaz in a bikini showing a little easter egg. She’s religious. (DS)
• David Duchovny is constipated. (Glitterati)
• Larry Birkhead, first redneck in history to claim his own bastard. (IBBB)
• Paris Hilton is a whore, and some other stuff blahblahblah. (Yeeeah)
• Jolene Blalock got some big ass…..(Bastardly)

Okay. I’m not a doctor but I think we can all agree that Paris Hilton got breast implants. Big luscious tits filled with salty, salty water or liquid caulking material. HOTT! What I can’t figure out is why she waited so long. She would have been taken much more seriously as whore had she done this 4 years ago. Big boobs make even the skinniest whore that much more attractive. Nobody likes a skanky girl with little boobies. True story.

Everyone knows that breast implants automatically can make even the most average looking girl slightly hotter. Kinda like what The Members Only jacket does for us gents. I say kudos Paris Hilton. You’re a real whore’s whore. Hell, I’d probably sleep with you now. Yeah, no. No I wouldn’t. But that Kathy Hilton. Reeeow. Cougar alert!

Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays   …

It’s Monday. I’m still drunk and I hate Irish whiskey from now on. Period. I prefer my whisky sans e, like it was meant to be. Anyway. Here’s Sophia Bush, for no pa’tic’lar reason except that she’s so pretty and I just want to comb her hair and sing to her on a warm summer night with a bottle of ’82 Margeaux and a bucket of KFC -Original Recipe, cuz I’m old school. No duct tape or anything. She wouldn’t run like the others. I just know it.

LINKS! Muthafuckahs.

• Joss Stone upskirt. When she get so nasty hot? (DS)
• Are you dark & lovely? A gent in the street but a thug in the bed? Wanna bang some luscious white soccer moms while their ineffectual husbands jerk off? You could be a MANDINGO! (Details)
• Michelle Marsh, British chick famous for being naked, naked in Maxim UK. (Phun)
• Paris Hilton is dating some dude who I think is on tv or something. (PopBytes)
• NCAA Girls and their boobies (CH)
• Shooter was pretty good in a 24 kind of way. Dustin, you rogue. (Pajiba)