NSFW - Fatback Media

This is Eva Mendes nude in Italian Vogue. I’m not much of an art critic so I can’t really tell you what’s going here but I’ll assume that photographer is going for a ’60s, North by Northwest slash Sophia Loren feel with a little S&M thrown in. I’ll also assume he wore a beret, had a pencil thin upturned mustache,  and smoked cigarettes through one of those long black filter things. More Eva Mendes nude, you art house dandy.

I love biker rallies. And that’s because biker rallies have biker rally chicks. Where else can you find completely hot slutty women willing to get naked and do incredibly nasty things with foreign objects for a group of filthy, greasy, toothless redneck biker motherfuckers? These are from a rally at a bar called the Suck, Bang, Blow. True story.

This is PEOPLE magazine. With a naked chick who has a perfectly formed rack. PEOPLE. Magazine. This happens to be the Australian version, which drives a deeper stake into American journalism whose puritanical readers would rather peruse articles about a country fried teenage pregnant whore than see some tits. Here’s what PEOPLE Magazine (USA version) has today.

“Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another,” says Schweitzer, adding, “While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger.” (source)

I fell asleep just thinking about clicking that link. Aussie PEOPLE has full frontal nudity. Because you know what? Naked people are PEOPLE too. Advantage: Nudity.

Links if you made it this far:

• Paris Hilton is banging this Buddhist monk actor from those movies. (Bastardly)
• Lindsay’s not pregnant, it’s the HPV swelling that makes her look fat (DS)
• Paris Hilton topless but less sexy than you’d probably imagine (Jordan)
• Sex and The City still ruining New York (Webster)
• Gnarls Barkley wans to give you seizures. (Celebrity Smack)
• Angelina Jolie is pregnant with twins. No shit. (Allie)
• Madison Healy is the Cute College girl this week. (CH)
• Lisa Marie Presley is pregnant…with a peanut butter n’ nanner sam’ich (yeeeah)

Hey y’all. We’ve got some big changes we’re going to be rolling out over the next few days. We’re launching a new site called Fatback Media that will be much more celebrity gossip focused and we’re changing some things around over here at Fatback and Collards. The reason for all this is that Fatback and Collards has become a dirty (sexy!) pariah to search engines and ad companies alike so we needed to create a safe-for-work (barely!) version for those readers that like to get their steaming hot, southern gossip on their desktops at work. Lennox Miller, our sexy head writer, will still write for both sites and continue her scandalous video gossip recaps from her bedroom every week, as well.

So what will happen to F&C? I’m glad you asked, dearest reader. We’re going to continue to bring the NSFW version of celebrity gossip, hi res pictures and foul mouthed commentary to your grubby little monitor screen 24/7 with no holds barred. It’s like a figure-4 to your brain. Basically, if your IT group banned Fatback and Collards, then read Fatback Media, then when you get home come see us here for the boobies.If you are one of our beloved link partners already or you’re a regular linker feel free to add www.FatbackMedia.com to your Blogroll. We already added you to our blogroll because we’re whores like that.

Now to celebrate journalistic freedom, here are some tits.

Links for my real frineds. Whores.

• More naked Adrianne Curry (Fatback and Collards)
• Amy Winehouse, banned in the USA!(Fatback Media)
• I’m not a lesbian, I’m a Chris…ian! (Dolly Mix )
• Man vs Girls Gone Wild! (College Humor)
• Keely Hazell next to statues made of dooky (Drunkenstepfather)
• Gwyneth Paltrow still dresses like shit (Bastardly)
• Halle Berry has a merkin for hair (Allie)
• Natasha Bedingfield in a bikini. (Jordan)
• Charlize Theron at Harvard with cross dressers (Gone Hollywood)
• Tyra banks shit herself (Yeeeah)

I’d like to talk you folks about nudity. I like it. You like it. You know who doesn’t like it? Google. And apparently every other ad company in the business doesn’t like it either. At least on this site. Ad companies are running away like boobies are the plague. Well, sir that is a disease I’d like to have. Figuratively, of course. Just the plague if it were boobies. But not on me, per se, just near me. Does that make sense? Does it even have to? I say no and good day. Enjoy the tits.

These are old school semi-pervy pics of Diora Baird and her 100% natural born 32 DD’s. Ever notice you can’t spell Google with DD’s? Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

• Katie Rees, Miss Nevada arrested for being a drunken whore. (Fatback Media)
• Eli Manning telling Tom Brady what a pussy he is (LG)
• Britney’s shit got stolen when she went to rehab (D-Listed)
• Pete Wentz will still cry at the end of the superbowl. (Yeeeah)
• Porn Star or pop star? Your guess is as good as mine. (LG)
• Guess the rack, before they had implants (LG)
• Brad Renfro is still dead. (Celebrity Satan)
• Cloverfield ate the box office. (Zed’s Dead)
• Real vigilantes dressing up like superheroes, except they mostly get their asses kicked. (Gutterbleed)
• Lindsay Lohan has a nice ass. (DS)
• Celebrate MLK day with the some old school Megan Fox. (Bastardly)
• Gosh, Pamela Anderson is hot. (Allie)
• Rihanna topless in FHM. OMG. (Jordan)
• Britney wants to dance her troubles away. (Holly Scoop)
• Nude photography requires a steady hand (College Humor)
• Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress exploded into fashion vomit. (Webster)

Ok. The day’s been pretty depressing, so here goes. I have no idea who Natalie Denning is, but she’s nude and British and that’s enough for me. I took a look at the Wikipedia to see if the truth sleuths over there had anything on her. Did they? You bet you sweet narrator’s licensing ass they did. To wit:

Natalie Denning is a British glamour model born in 1983, Worcester, England. Natalie first found fame in the British reality TV series Poor Little Rich Girls and has since gone on to pose topless in many of the major British lads mag’s including Nuts, ZOO, Loaded and Maximum.

In recent years Natalie has branched out into other types of modeling including presenting prizes on British Game shows such as The Price Is Right and Gameshow Marathon. (Source)

I would have printed more, but apparently the only thing this chick does is get naked, so the article was pretty short. Like your attention span, knuckle dragger. Here’s more of Natalie Denning and her friend doing what all girls do when left to their own devices. Right? Right?

• Allie is a hot wife who lets her husband bang other chicks on video. Definitely wife material. (Naughty Allie)
• Porn Star or pop star? Your guess is as good as mine. (LG)
• Mas Rebecca Loos desnuda (Phun)
• Guess the rack, before they had implants (LG)
• Brad Refro is still dead. (Celebrity Satan)
• Cloverfield ate the box office. (Zed’s Dead)
• Real vigilantes dressing up like superheroes, except they mostly get their asses kicked. (Gutterbleed)
• Lindsay Lohan has a nice ass. (DS)
• Celebrate MLK day with the some old school Megan Fox. (Bastardly)
• Gosh, Pamela Anderson is hot. (Allie)
• Rihanna topless in FHM. OMG. (Jordan)
• Britney wants to dance her troubles away. (Holly Scoop)
• Nude photography requires a steady hand (College Humor)
• Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress exploded into fashion vomit. (Webster)
• This chick gets naked and freaky in dressing rooms (NA)

 

Megan Fox continues to amaze me with her generosity and kindness - and also with her nipple that keeps poking out of her shirt. Most people have trouble in these situations. They see a hot chick with a button unbuttoned or a nipple hanging out and they get all awkward and try not to look at it to be polite. Well, girls don’t dress this way unless they want your full attention on the goods.That’s a true fact from a southern gentleman, folks. So instead of staring at the ceiling or my shoelaces when I see a a hot girl with too much rack hanging out I walk right up to her, look her right in the eyes, and introduce myself. Then I motorboat the shit out of her boobies. Problem solved. Chivalry lives!

More creamy goodness for the brethren and sistren.

• Kid PWNED by railing. Hilarious! (Crave)
• New punisher Movie may kick ass for real (Gutter Bleed)
• Jessica Alba flips the bird. Fatty. (Speed Monkey)
• Fetish Model Bianca Beauchamp (Crave)
• This week’s edition of ‘Whose Boobs?’ (LG)
• Tokyo Drift in a Jeep becomes Redneck Rollover. (Crave)
• Katie Holmes says that Tom Cruise is “straight…as something that is straight…or something. HELP!” (Yeeeah)
• Tony Parker eez aveen an afffaai *cough* RRRrrrr. (Deceiver)
• God Damn Kelly Clarkson (Allie)
• Ike Turner is dead. But Tina still has to the EAT THE CAKE. (DS)
• Nell McAndrew in a bikini, just ’cause. (Bastardly)
• Ever player in MLB is on steroids. RRRRAAAH! (Bumpshack)
• Tara Reid is busted up and torn like an old dollar bill. (Jordan)

Wow. Alert. Instead of news about Britney Spears and her relentless effort to get rid of her kids you get a hot British chick with her nipple showing. I’m bored with Britney and I like hot British chicks - especially those with their nipples out. And you know I’m serious because I used a hyphen. Semicolons are for pussies. Anyway, this is Sarah Harding and she’s British and she’s constantly drunk wearing sexy clothes. Heart = stolen. I have no idea what her job is but I think it involves blowing sexy kisses to me; which is actually quite noble.

This is Anna Friel who is a British chick who plays a girl named Chuck on Pushing Daisies; probably the most original show ever made for television. If you don’t watch it, don’t bother - you won’t get it. What you will get is that Anna Friel has a great rack and she’s British so that means she gets naked all time. I’d like to build a birdhouse in her soul.

Pushing Links:

• Kim Kardashian Nude in Playboy (Crave)
• Halloween hotties (FHM)
• Tracey Morgan is high (Crave Online)
• Tyra Banks has the monster mash in her crotch (IBBB)
• Devon Aoki dressed as an Asian whore, ’cause…well..(Bastardly)
• Petra Nemkova is a trampy Cleopatra (DS)

This is the perpetually nude Joanna Krupa in her new calendar which features her nude - of all things. Normally, I would rail against this type of thing because it’s just this sort of objectification of women that is perpetuating the cycle of anorexic young girls whoring it up to over-stimulated testosterone fueled meatheads in a society where the “bitch-slap” is in common parlance. But, you know, I really like her tits. Bitch.

Links, sugar.

• How to drive like an asshole. Or “How to be from Massachusetts” (Crave)
• How to score with chicks. (CO)
• Revenge is sweet. And cold. (College Humor)
• Britney got the clap…in her eye. Whore. (Yeeeah)
• Britney Spears is fucking lady, bitches. (Allie)
• Kat Von D’s vagina. Whoever the fuck that is. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Eva Mendes will be mine bitches. (Bastardly)
• Paris Hilton. Stupid Rich Whore Philanthropist. (IBBB)
• Laura Weston is smoking hot, mate. (FHM)
• J-LO-Hew gots some big ass tit-tays. (Notorious)