NSFW - Fatback Media

Newsflash: Nicole is still skinny. Except now she might be not eating for two. Rumors are stirring that Nicole might be preggers.

Richie recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, reports Life and Style, which reports that the tests “confirmed she is pregnant.”

Richie’s rep didn’t respond to requests for comment from either L&S or The Scoop, but on May 30, the star was photographed at a reproductive clinic, and the mag quotes an “insider” as saying, “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.” (source)

How is that even physiologically possible? I’m pretty sure in order to carry a baby, you need to have some percentage of body fat and Nicole’s -7% isn’t cutting it. Furthermore, who the fuck could be coked-out, booze saturated and/or have received enough blunt force trauma to bang that bag of bones?

Well, if she is pregnant then the baby could theoretically survive by eating Nicole’s entrails until it finally just rips its way out and goes after Ripley. Ease down, you’re just grinding transaxle.

UPDATE: The NY Post says she’s a fat fatty.

Here’s Joanna Krupa at Fever Nightclub in Atlanta Ga. There’s really no reason except I like eastern European chicks and she’s partying down south in Hotlanta where it’s warm and dirty. Just like my martinis. Today is dedicated zero talk about American Idol or Antonella Barba or whether or not those pics are her. Promise. Unless some new untagged images land in my inbox. For reals.

In other even sexier news, we’re looking for writers here at FB&C so if you’re sexy, southern and funny drop us a line on the tips page and tell us why. You don’t really have to be southern, but you do have to be sexy and I’m a very harsh critic so photographic eveidence is probably best. Unless you’re a dude. The pay is shit, but I’ll make ya famous. Figure out why these links are better than my site:

• Cameron D smokin’ a fatass J. (IDLYITW)
• Eliza Dushku in a thong, thong, thong,thong, thong. (DS)
• GMMR was at the set of The Office yesterday. She told Rashida Jones I wanted her shit. I’m totally in. (GMMR)
• Kim Kardashian will not release sex tape. But she will destroy the Bajorans. (Bastardly)
• Angelina Jolie is jealous bitch. I guess I ruined her. Sometimes I can be so cruel. (Yeeeah)
• Movies released in February suck, duh. Even if the trailer was freakin’ awesome. (Pajiba)
• Nicole Ritchie might marry Joel Madden. Jimmy smokes crack and I don’t care. (Hail)
• Paris smoked crack and I don’t care. (City Rag)
• Spring is close so look at some trashy collge girl boobies (CH)

Images: source

Mega music and hot daughter producer Quincy Jones recently commented about Nicole Ritchie’s current predicament, citing the pressures of stardom on young people. Jones who is a personal friend of (and former producer for) Nicole’s dad Lionel Ritchie has known her since she was a little girl.

“You get caught up in the peer pressure and the hoopla – it’s a media frenzy. It’s insane. Success doesn’t help,” Jones, 73, told PEOPLE Thursday… in Los Angeles. “Processing success is a major, major, major process.”

Jones, who has seven kids – six of them daughters – added, “I try to tell the young kids there are two cardinal rules: You should approach creativity with humility and have your success with grace. It’s a gift from God. You don’t deserve it. You are a vehicle of a higher power. Don’t abuse it.” (People)

Yawn. The only redeeming quality about this story [that really isn't even about this story] is that Quincy Jones and his bombshell former wife (Peggy Lipton) produced Rashida Jones, who is one of several hot daughters to come out of the Quincy Jones hot daughter factory. I’m not trying to start any conspiracy theories but, Rashida Jones is the master race. HOw else can you explain it? Her dad is a musical genius and mom is a beautiful model actress. Her genetics are so good I think she may have special powers. Take that Hitler.

Ok, it’s the holidays and things are slow so I’m going through the posting queue and pulling out some also-rans. Enjoy the stale news bitches.

Repeat after me: Nicole Richie was not in rehab. She was in rehab, wasn’t she?

Nicole Richie wants to clear the air once and for all!

An eyewitness tells Life & Style that the skinny starlet, who had reportedly gone into rehab to seek help for her weight, marched up to gossip blogger Perez Hilton today at LA’s Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and insisted to him: “I was NOT in rehab! Everyone was wrong. I did not go to rehab.” (source)

While probably laden with swimming pools, tennis courts, caviar and movie stars, I’m still pretty sure that building is considered an institution. And your seminar on ‘how to eat more than 6 raisins’ is probably considered therapy. And your 78-pound frame is almost certainly considered to be the cause of an eating disorder. I’m not a doctor, but I have watched several episodes of Grey’s Anatomy so I’m quite sure that qualifies me to make these judgments. Now I’m off to eat a cheeseburger (extra mayo!) while watching my “stories”. Here are some pictures of April Scott a woman who knows what curves are supposed look like.
 

Well not really, but it really helps the self esteem of girls with image problems when you confront them with their fears. Wait. Maybe that makes them suicidal binge eaters who cry and cry and never shut the fuck up. I can’t be expected to remember everything from medical school now can I?

“Nicole Richie has decided to undergo diagnostic treatment to determine why she’s not been putting on any weight,” her rep tells PEOPLE in a statement. “She is working with a team of doctors and specialists whose focus is nutrition. It is important to Nicole that she achieves this goal in a healthy way as this is not a treatment for an eating disorder.” (source)

I have the solution to her problem. FUCKING EAT. Problem solved. I just saved you $300,000 dollars and I saved the public 6 more months of watching you die one day at a time, Karen Carpenter. It’s not magic folks. I’m just that smart. All I did was make a wish and Jambi appeared and made me the smartest boy in the WHOLE world. Here are two NSFW images of Nicole back when she had a little J-in-the-T.