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Nicole Kidman is Pregnant: Redux

Fatback — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 14:15:42 +0000

Um. Okay. I guess Nicole Kidman really is pregnant this time. Maybe the first one (last week) didn’t take and she’s newly 12 weeks pregnant. Whatever.

Nicole Kidman and husband Keith Urban are expecting their first child, her rep confirms.

“The couple are thrilled,” Catherine Olim says in a statement. (source)

I’m glad she got pregnant after Tom Cruise instead of with Tom Cruise because then her baby would have to fight Katie Holmes’s baby and the winner would eat the loser baby and then destroy the earth. So, all in all, I think we dodged a bullet on that one. Even though I think she died 9 years ago at the hands of a vampire, Nicole Kidman still looks pretty fucking hot and you have to respect a girl that pale going out in the sunlight wearing see thru clothing.

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Better than Sanjaya’s Sister is An American Idol

Fatback — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 15:54:30 +0000

Actually she has two big ole American Idols right up front, right where the they should be. Sanjaya actually didn’t do that poorly last night so I voted for him again because he’s so pretty, but mostly because I want his sister to keep showing and doing what she’s doing in that top image. (Video here). I’ve never dated an Indian girl (I have pow-wowed with a Native American), but top back-handed racists agree that Indian girls are hot, and mostly virgins because they’ll be thrown into a fiery pit, otherwise. I saw that on Law & Order, and that shit is ripped from the headlines. True story. Anyway, Shayamali has a MySpace and I hope she’ll be adding me as her friend. I’d hate to have to tell her dad she’s a Hooter’s girl and get her in trouble. More Shyamali (my favorite is the Goodbye Girl pose) and LINKS!

Renee Zellweger looking hot in my hometown. (DS)
Amy Smart looking a little rough and tumbled, but that’s how I like ‘em. (Bastardly)
Alaina Alexander of Idol pulls an Antonella Barba. Sweet. (Celebrity Smack)
Old school image big breasted Oklahoma sluts at a game. Never gets old. (Bump Shack)
Nicole Kidman is pregnant. Wow. That means that Tom Cruise… OMG. You don’t think…? (GoT)
Sanjaya is a murderer. (IBBB)
I’m just linking to Holly Scoop because those chicks are hot. (HS)
Wanna see anyone listed here nude? (Mr. Skin)

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Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts on film together

Fatback — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 16:06:16 +0000

Two Aussies walk into a barâ€¦well it had all the makings of a good joke. Except, it didnâ€™t. Australian leading ladies (and BFF!) Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts will star together in a â€œsexy thrillerâ€?.

â€œNip/Tuckâ€? creator Ryan Murphy plans to spend this Fall shoot â€œNeedâ€? which has
Watts playing a psychiatrist, and Kidman as the unstable patient who steals the shrinkâ€™s husband.â€? (source)

I love Australia and I watch a lot of National Geographic HD so I’m pretty fucking smart about the Aussies. So when the headline reads something like, â€œKidman and Watts to star in a movie togetherâ€?, I’m all in. Two Australian hotties in the same film together sounds pretty amazing. You can only imagine my chagrin to learn that Nicole and Naomi won’t be dressed up as aborigines who play those long hollow sticks that go “waow-waow, waow waow”. Nor will the film include wallabies, tequila, vegimite, or the appropriate use of the phrase â€œthat’s a knifeâ€?, or “shrimps on the barbie”. Maybe it’s period piece? If weâ€™re lucky, however, Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts will talk funny to each other and giggle then make out. I donâ€™t generally watch foreign films unless they have gratuitous boobs, mood music or a character named â€œPierreâ€?, but it might be worth seeing.

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Better Than Bright Lights Big City

Fatback — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 03:02:53 +0000

I’m out of the office so to speak, so here’s some southern link love for my brethren and sistren.

Pam Anderson and Kid Rick get divorced over Borat. I am EXECUTE. (Yeeeah)
These Britney Spears raw snatch shots are everywhere but Jesus makes it seem just right. (Drunken Stepfather)
Scarlett Johansson and her rack at some event. No reason. Just go. (Bastardly)
Lindsay Lohan buys golden cuffs. (Smart)
Nicole Kidman is pregnant. Not mine! (Bumpshack)
Cindy Taylor doing her best to keep me from wondering who the hell she is. (Hollywood Tuna)
Jared Leto still hates bloggers, still a fucking weirdo. (Celebrity Smack)

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Kidman is Preggo, Mates

Fatback — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 10:49:27 +0000

G’day beautes! According to the ever so glamorous and accurate National Enquirer, Nicole Kidman is pregnant and recently announced the arrival to husband Keith Urban…in rehab! I love Hollywood! Urban is currently at the Betty Ford Clinic seeking treatment.

Two home pregnancy tests confirmed the 39-year-old actress is expecting her first child, sources say — but, ironically, her four-month marriage to country crooner Keith, 39, is in serious jeopardy. “Nicole’s dream of having a child finally came true when two home pregnancy tests came up positive,” an insider tells The ENQUIRER.

“But she’s devastated that Keith lied to her about kicking his addictions to booze and cocaine. She’s hoping the baby will save their relationship.” (source)

Mom “accidentally” dropped her diaphragm on a stack of open safety pins, thus “accidentally” poking a hole and I “accidentally” appeared nine months later. Apparently, a retired auto mechanic drawing disability was a solid candidate for fatherhood in spite of his penchant for stalking young women and his propensity for winding up in court. Naturally, that relationship didn’t last past breakfast and my presence only serves as a reminder that decisions are not best made while under the influence of Mad Dog 20/20 and Jerry Springer. The moral is: don’t have a baby to save your relationship unless you want that child to endure 13 years of therapy and countless sexual partners because you tried to make something out of nothing. I’m not bitter! No worries, Nicole, it’ll come good, love! Time for me to hit the turps. I speak Australian. I fucking rock!

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