Call your mother. So she can slap your ass and spray-paint your panties ‘cause I’M BACK, BITCHES! Your favorite potty-mouthed sweetcake has resurfaced for some sexy, southern action and I figure there’s no better comeback than a nip-slip! Former “OC”? star Mischa Barton was caught by cameras last night in London at The Berkeley Hotel. Thank you, sweet cameraman…err, cameraperson, or whore. Whatever. We’re not sexist here at FB&C. Oh fuck it, yes we are.

I’ve traveled abroad, and it’s something about the jet lag and cheap first-class champagne that makes you want to show your tits on the street corner. Or maybe that’s just me? Cheerio! NSFW after the jump you dirty birds.

Random Posts

• A Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip
• Elle Macpherson See thru is Nosferatu
• Lake bell is an actress
• Keith Richards: Drug Cannibal
• Jessica Biel will kick Cameron Diaz’ ass

National Enquirer is about as reliable as a condom with rug burns. That said, they have a rumor that young actress Mischa Barton is depressed. Since leaving “The O.C.”, she feels as though her life is growing out of control.

Troubled beauty Mischa Barton has been so depressed she’s threatened suicide, even saying she’d kill her beloved dog, according to gossip blogger Janet Charlton.

However, Mischa’s publicist Dominique Appel denies that Mischa was suicidal or had threatened her dog. Appel told The ENQUIRER that “the bandaged wrist was the result of her accidental encounter with a broken glass.”

But a source told The ENQUIRER: “She’s in a bad place right now.” (source)

Aww. Depwessed? Bad Pwace? Bad place my ass. Jesus girl, the dog too? You’re pretty well fucked up, but what does that have to do with your dog?  I guess money, success and beauty can’t buy happiness. Whatever. You’re rich, pretty and really, really famous. I have some therapy for you. Suck. It. Up. Please shut the fuck up and stay away from your dog.

It’s always the skinny, white rich bitches who cry the loudest. You know that fat chick with the pizza face who works at the food court when you go on $20K shopping sprees? Yeah, well she would carve out and eat her own liver to live one day in your entitled, undeserving strappy sandals. You don’t need counseling, you need a god damn black eye. Let me see you out whining about anything. I will physically tackle you, girl. I promise. Brat.

Random Posts

• Britney: You can take girl outta the Trailer Park…
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt like to be naked
• The Hills are at the Beach
• Better Than Fried Turkey and Wild Turkey (101)
• Prince Harry cops a royal feel

Here is a “naked” photo of Mischa Barton in a new movie titled The Oh in Ohio, a film about a woman who has never experienced orgasm (bless her heart!). It’s a glorified nip-slip, except without the nips. I’m a good critic of the female anatomy, (since I’m intimately familiar with my own) and I’m quite sure two little somethings are missing from these photos. Take a closer look just to be sure. Stare, if you have to. Maybe we should have this be our first Photoshop contest. Photoshop the nips into this slip. You’ll win a prize. Or masturbate. Either way that’s a winner!
Screening website Kids-in-Mind reviews and rates the movie as strong sex & nudity and even describes some of the risque scenes. I’ll be front row, bitches! I would have posted more of these but my head hurts so much from trying to see her nipples that I need to lie down.

Random Posts

• Miss USA Tara Conner in a Bikini
• Better than Bringing Sexy Back
• Maggie Rizer, Nude Supermodel
• Avril Frolicks in Miami
• Molly Sims is athletic

Super hungry today. let’s see what everybody else is cooking.

Victoria Beckham had the last of her cybernetic implants placed yesterday. 2% human! (IDLYITW)

Mischa Barton wears clothes instead of a ragged scarf for a change. At least she’s up to the ’80s in fashion era now. (Yeeeah)

Jenna Jameson is still hot matter what you guys say. She’s a director! (Bastardly)

Anna Nicole Smith did what any new mother from the south would do. Marry the first guy to come along. They should go ahead and stock up on the Zoloft for their daughter when she hits puberty. Ouch. Did I go too far? (Glitterati)

Lindsay Lohan. Mother Trucker. (Smart)

Jessica Alba has a bad hair day. It’s bed head. If you see her tell her I need my iPod back. Fucking thief. (Gossip or Truth)

Random Posts

• Chevy Chase’s mom was a bitch
• Kenney Chesney is not a gay man
• Sophia Bush: Cutest Girl. Ever.
• Better than Fried Chicken Livers and Hot Sauce
• I said God Damn Jessica: Part 2

Mischa Barton disappears from promo posters for The O.C. Coincidence? Or do they just fucking hate her like everyone else? (I’m not obsessed)

Sophia Bush Mega Post from the Teen Choice Awards. Sophia has been under my radar till now since I refuse to watch WB shows because the network sucks. She is so pretty that it’s an abomination. She makes angels weep with envy. (Guilty Obsession)

Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong shave each other’s chests and frolic. Hot man love ensues! Or jogging. Whatever. (Gossip or Truth)

Whorish actresses and models in photo shoots trying to look natural but ending up looking whorishly stupid. Except for Elisha Cuthbert. (NSFW) (Drunken Stepfather)

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo hit the pool while visions of a girl that doesn’t have noassitol dance in his head.(The Bastardly)

Jesus H. Macy would like to kick Lindsay Lohan’s ass. The bring her bruised shit home for a three way with Felicity. (Yeeeah!)

Invincible is an inspiring story about love, life and giving it all you got- if you’re a Disney exec. Otherwise it’s just eh. (Pajiba)

Random Posts

• Colin Farrell and Lake Bell Married?
• Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz Split?
• Marisa Miller likes the beach
• Leila A Has Eyes As Blue As The Ocean
• Anna Friel is Pushing Nudity