Hungry? I’m heading out to make some lunch. Slow cooked, sassy and tasty as a mofo. Like me! Here’s what’s-a-happenin’ hot-a-stuff.

Sexy hotness Tina from Glitterati is back in action and has some news about Colin Farrell at the Tonight Show. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to daydream about Tina. (Glitterati Gossip)

Naomi Cambell  trashed a boat. She’s fucking crazy. Why am I always drawn to the crazy ones? (Subvert Society)

Lindsay Lohan may be the latest fucking idiot person to convert to Scientology. (INO)

Michelle Rodriguez walked 47 miles of barbed wire and has a cobra snake for neck tie. Who do you love? (ICYDK)

GMMR has the TV version of 6 Degrees of Separation. Play, if you think you can hang. (GMMR)

Kate Hudson sued the National Enquirer for calling her skinny. What a fat pig. (Bricks and Stones)

For you NPR motherfuckers, Dustin has the review of Tsotsi. (Pajiba)

Tania do Nascimento has a dark nipple. (Star Power)

Paris Hilton is fucking crybaby. And a whore. A rich whore. (Tabloid Whore)

Rhianna in Giant Magazine (The Bastardly)

So much to see around the sites today. It’s Friday. It’s summer. You should be oiling up hotties on the beach (especially you ladies). So don’t do any work. Just settle in and enjoy the sexy, southern lovin’.

Hey guess what? Another candid shot of Paris Hilton’s vagina. Wow. That’s like getting more sand in my crack at the beach. Which doesn’t make sense, but neither does the way her thong is literally fleeing her vagina. Here’s a nice upskirt shot of her getting out of a car. Except I would change nice to ewww and the rest to OHMYFUCKINGGODNO. (I’m Not Obsessed)

The OC has sucked since season one. It finally got better when they killed Marissa. Now they’re trying to bring her back? Well, that means less screen time for not-really-a-teenager hotness Taylor Townsend (Autumn Reeser) (the Bastardly)

Pam Anderson checks the grill for crumbs. (ICYDK)

Lindsay Lohan doing yoga booty ballet reminds me of  Dwight Schrute doing karate. (Guilty Obsession)

Michelle Rodriguez licks her own armpit. Which is supposed to be gross but she’s scary because she can kick my ass and it kind of turns me on. Don’t judge me, bitch. (Bricks and Stones)

Jeff Goldblum is having sex with a bag of sticks. Or Nicole Ritchie. I can’t tell, but I smell smoke. (VHT)

Quote and gigantic boobie shot of the week goes to Subvert Society: “Jodie Marsh has just gone too far with her tits. Them shits is unruly and scary, yo. Boobs are nice, breasts are swell, we like them, they are fun to cup and play with, and drool over. All of that is fucking ruined when some cross-dressing circus clown gets new boobs sized 48WTF.”(Subvert Society)

Michelle Rodriguez, of ABC’s LOST, was just released from a short stint in a Hawaiian prison for a drunk driving conviction. The actress had a choice between 240 hours of community service or 5 days in jail and she chose the hardcore thug route: do the crime…take the time. According to reports she actually enjoyed the time behind bars.

Rodriguez says, “It was so cool. I love people, and it was a primal crew. The only thing that keeps them going is fighting for salt and making dice out of soap.

“It was an amazing experience. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

“I have a really good belief in destiny. It’s, like, if I’m gonna be killed in there, I’m gonna be killed in there. But people were cool.

“I represent the people, you know what I mean? If somebody picks on me, they’ll get what’s coming. I didn’t have to handle myself is what I’m saying. I had love in there. People got where I’m coming from.”

And Rodriguez spent her time behind bars creatively.

She adds, “Drawing pictures for everybody on their shirts. Writing poetry. And singing show tunes with the girls… I’m not surprised they kicked me out early.”(source)

Michelle Rodriguez simultaneously turns me on and scares the shit out of me. I mean, she’s smokin’ hot and Latin, and she looks like she could handle herself in knife fight. I guess I could get used to cuddling up in her strong protective arms every night after a violent round of combative yet exotically sensual sex. But I would always worry about pissing her off because she’d be all, “Mira. Homie, you know I’ll fuckin’ kill you, right?…I ain’t afraid to do the time, poppy. I used up my soap dice anyway, bitch”.

Share the naked celebrity goodness, y'all!

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