NSFW – Fatback Media

Megan Fox, who sports several sassy tattoos, is currently having one removed because the ‘artist’ who gave it to her was high at the time. She stated that she’ll be more careful next time she picks an artist. The tattoo was apparently supposed to be tribal but ended up a smudged mess.

The Transformers star says, “The guy was smoking weed while he tattooed me and he didn’t do it correctly. Now it’s nothing and I’m gonna get it removed. I was told he was a really amazing tattoo artist but he wasn’t on his game that night. He was distracted.” (source)

First. It’s absolutely ridiculous how hot Megan Fox is. She probably just looks at herself in the mirror for hours everyday saying, God DAMN. I’m REALLY pretty. I think she may be a scientific experiment by the devil.

Second. Of course the guy was nervous. He was tattooing Megan Fox. Most men would have just passed out because their penis exploded. I, on the other hand would make her oatmeal raisin cookies (her fave!), then we would play with my Spyro Gyro kit (hours of drawing fun!), then we would watch RENT (and cry!), and then we would have a pillow fight and fall asleep together on my couch. Where I would carve my name on her ass with my Mortimer Ichabod Marker pen – because whores like her need to be marked. More Megan!

This is the ridiculously hot Megan Fox at a recent Transformers press conference. Her Egyptian potato sack (?) dress is revealing one of her several tattoos. I’m not one to judge, but it’s well known tattoos are for whores. They don’t call it a ho’ stamp for nothing. True story. Here’s what she said in FHM about her ink.

Fox has said of her tattoos: “I have five. Anytime I have a feeling about anything, I get tattooed. I have a poem I wrote on my ribcage and a symbol for strength on my neck, and my boyfriend Brian’s name tattooed next to my pie.”

That one one her back there is a version of a quote from King Lear (for you literary muthafuckas), but its kinda creepy because that’s what King Lear said to his daughter in the touching scene where they are led off to prison. So is this ironic? Or literal? Is she the tragic gilded butterfly for whom a fatherly figure (Daddy? David Austin Greene? Hollywood?) must suffer as he sees her caged, never to fly, and ultimately fall too soon for her years? Or was this scrawled in eyeliner pencil on the bathroom stall just above the toilet seat when she chopped up that last coke rail?

‘How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child.’

I never watch awards shows because they are so so contrived, coddling and asinine. Apparently, this year was no different, except they made special effort to suck out the feeling. I was so bored reading highlights of the show that I almost committed seppuku with my 8″ Rachel Ray santoku chef’s knife. So sharp.

Normally, movie stars either don’t show up and we see a prerecorded acceptance speech from “the set of their new movie” which oddly looks like the bar at Chili’s, or they show up in shorts and flip flops drunk. This year, however, somehow MTV duped the actors into thinking that this was a real awards show and that an astronaut trophy would look great next to their People’s Choice award. (Oscars are for uppity assholes right?) Anyway, the bottom line was a big ole bucket of boring, sexless drivel. Much like Paris Hilton in prison. Zing!

So here’s Megan Fox, who in spite of the ridiculous dress, manages to class up the place with a whole lotta sex appeal. I just hope that that tattoo is for her boyfriend and not her daddy. Because it’s creepin’ me out Cordelia. (bonus if you got the reference!)

Rebecca Loos, nude? No. Really? Noooo. That’s right, here’s Rebecca Loos, the very famous actress, or um..singer, or… well come to think of it, she’s really just famous for being naked. Which means she’s a free spirit who celebrates the body electric and wants to share that incandescent enfranchisement with the world. Or, she’s just a whore.

You gotta hand it to the British, because where else can you find a big titted tart nestled right between the pages of your afternoon news? I think if we added some full frontal nudity into news stores about Iraq, people wouldn’t be so pissy about the war. They’d be all, “yeah people are dying senselessly everyday and the corporate pseudo-government agencies like Haliburton just keep getting richer and richer at the expense of so much American blood , but I found some titties in my Time Magazine today. Can you image? Titties!? Will wonders never cease?” Links, bitches.

• Britney Spears has tipped the whore/hottie scale in favor of hottie 51/49. (DS)
• Tattoos are whorish. That’s why I love Megan Fox. (Bastardly)
• Pics from some Maxim party where they lied to girls and told them they were pretty. (ICYDK)
• Terri Hatcher upskirt. IF YOU DARE. (Ninja Dude)
• The Spice Girls had group sex in London. Whatever. (Glunp)
• Jessica Alba musings. Hint: she doesn’t want to fuck you. (DH)
• Colleges have college girls. Girls have boobies. ERGO. Boobies. (CH)
• Happy Meal with a glass pipe and a 1/4 bag. (City rag)

“I think her names Lucy cause they all call her Loos…”

More Links Bitches.

• Okay. Yeah. People having sex while being tattooed. (Crave)
• Jamie Lynn Spears is a little lady. (IBBB)
• Mary Kate Olsen is kind of a whore. (Allie)
• Peter Petrelli is a hero… to all pervs. (Holy Candy)
• Bret Ratner banged Lindsay Lohan but don’t quote him on that. (Evil Beet)
• Sienna Miller nude and pissed. (Drunken stepfather)
• Giselle Bundtcake does GQ (Bastardly)
• Alexandra is the college girl of the week (College Humor)
• Pamela Anderson got married again. SEX TAPE! (Yeeeah)
• Ben Stiller’s new movie sucks wind – like a  queef. (Pajiba)
• Penelope Cruz Bikini pics (Jordan)