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Brad Pitt has reportedly purchased Vintage Cartier rings for his upcoming "marriage" to girlfriend Angelina Jolie.

Brad Pitt turned 42 on Sunday and reportedly has celebrated his birthday in style by purchasing a Cartier wedding ring for Angelina Jolie.

Pitt reportedly purchased a set of rings earlier this week in Beverly Hills. Brad grabbed his motorcycle ripped up Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills on a shopping spree and purchased the rings, according to one published report

The UK Sun cites sources that dish that Brad and Angie are planning a Buddhist-style ceremony at his Malibu mansion.

The Buddhist style wedding reportedly involves the exchanging of rings and Buddhist prayers in the presence of a Buddhist Priest. I don’t know about you, but wearing a $40,000 Cartier diamond ring at a Buddhist wedding doesn’t exactly scream commitment to your religion. Hollywood stars just amaze me. Buddhism was founded by a guy who gave up his worldly possessions and rank to achieve enlightenment. Hollywood stars pretend to be Buddhist, Kabbalist and Scientologists to achieve self- absorption and pat themselves on the back when they have drug-fueled sex parties or decide to snatch small children from foreign countries.

I also don’t think Angelina is the wedding ring "type" anyway.  She seems more like a "blood is thicker than water" type, literally. If I were Brad Pitt, I would be less worried about the estate diamond and more  worried walking into a honeymoon suite with plastic taped to the walls.

Lake Bell, star of the underrated NBC series "Surface", has been slated to play Colin Farell’s wife in the upcoming drama "Pride and Glory".

Former "Boston Legal" co-star Lake Bell is in negotiations to play
Colin Farrell’s wife in "Pride and Glory," a drama about a family of
police officers.

Ed Norton, Nick Nolte, Samantha Morton and Noah
Emmerich also have been cast in the New Line movie, which goes before
cameras in February in New York. Gavin O’Connor directs.

Written
by O’Connor and Joe Carnahan, "Pride" revolves around a
three-generation family of officers torn apart by a corruption scandal.
Bell will play Megan, who is married to tough cop Jimmy Egan (Farrell).
When she discovers her husband’s complicity in a police corruption
scandal that her brother (Norton) is investigating, she must choose
between her husband and her family.

Ed Norton is rarely ever associated with crap productions so this movie may end up being good. Although, having Nick Nolte and Colin Farrell on the same movie set is probably about as smart as throwing  burning babies  into a dog fight. Yeah, they stop for second but when the flames go down they just go crazy. And, because I finally have an excuse to post them…more of Lake Bell and all her Pride and Glory after the Jump.

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Apparently, Jessica Simpson has been quite busy lately having a long string of affairs to help her through the hard times. She has already been linked with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera, the latest is that she had a fling with Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine.

According to a well-placed Lowdown spy,
Simpson and Levine had their forbidden tryst in early September 2004,
after a long night of partying with Jessica’s personal assistant, CaCee
Cobb, and M5 drummer Ryan Dusick at L.A.’s Sunset Marquis Hotel.

"Jessica and Adam were very close in the booth, and she kept putting
her hand on his leg," says the eyewitness. "It was obvious … that
something weird was going on. A few days later, Adam was talking about
how he and Jessica had ‘gotten it on’ in the hotel that night.
Apparently it was just kind of a fling."

And if my math serves me, that would put her right at 3 months pregnant. But my money is still on Johnny Knoxville as the baby-daddy. I have done some deep soul searching and I can not, for life of me, see why Jessica would unleash the glory contained in her MaidenForm for a snively little whiner like Adam Levine. He is the vocal equivalent of a velicoraptor. Not even a velociraptor though, just that little skull cavity fossil that they found in Jurassic Park 3. Except more nasal. My girlfriend thinks he’s hot and loves his music. My girlfriend could also kick his ass with one sexy hand tied behind her back.

UPDATE: So kickass reader c-diddy realized that my math may not be right-on. The alleged affair happened back in 2004 not in Sept. of this year. In my defense, I am insane. I still think she is pregnant with Johnny Knoxville’s spawn. 2004, 2005…whatever it takes.

Or not. Whatever. According to the probably not-reliable-but-who-really-cares Post-Chronicle, Jessica Simpson has become pregnant to save her marriage. If the info is inaccurate then I am officially debunking this story. If it’s true then I stand behind the fact that I am a world class journalist bringing you the all top stories every 15 minutes.

According to a report in the upcoming Star,
Jessica Simpson is about six weeks pregnant.  Hubby Nick Lachey is
reportedly so happy he must be ‘convinced’ he’s the father,’ writes Howard Gensler.

"She’s also hanging on Nick like they’re on a second honeymoon," the Star quotes a source as saying.

"… she’s eating like a horse," says another source."

I really don’t care if she’s pregnant or not, I just wanted to post that picture of her in the Marshall Tucker Band T-shirt. (South Cackalackee Repra-ZENT!) Besides, I’m not sure getting pregnant is the right thing to do to keep your man, when you are already an insufferable bitch with a creepy dad. Especially, when your husband has been spending a lot of time in the company of other women.

I’m no expert but according to Dr. Phil, "trap him" should not be a added to your list of bad relationship solutions. He also says that I should "get real"and stop listening to the voices coming from my electrical outlets too. But the voices stop the lasers coming through the walls, duh. And, I have repeatedly told you through my television that they make me feel better when I wake up from the black-outs covered in blood. How else would I know to burn my clothes and bathe in bleach, doctor?

UPDATE: So it looks like Nick and Jessica are finally breaking up (officially). I really don’t care and I have Collard Greens to eat and I am pretty sure I may get into a chainsaw fight today. Read all about the total non-surprise story over at AllThisNonsense.com.