NSFW – Fatback Media

Eva Longoria reportedly used a racial slur against the police officer who confronted the Desperate Housewives star and her boyfriend Tony Parker (San Antonio Spurs) when they "impeded traffic" over the Holiday weekend. According to AP and The National Ledger:

After seeing a car stopped, a bicycle
officer indicated that it was impeding traffic. When the car didn’t
move, the officer rapped the hood with the palm of his hand, according
to a police report.

Parker, who was behind the wheel, questioned why the officer touched
the car, and the couple "began screaming in a verbally abusive and
demeaning manner," police said.

The officer who wrote the citations said
Parker complained: "This is all the cops do, just mess with people,"
and that Longoria shouted from the car:

"He’s just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph."

Wait. What? But isn’t she…? Huh? I mean…huh?  After the incident Eva back peddled:

"It’s a shame that one officer conducted
himself in such an inappropriate and disorderly manner. I never made
any sort of racial slurs, let alone made any comments about the officer
being Mexican, as a Mexican myself," Longoria said through her
publicist.

What’s a shame is that Eva Longoria thinks that her spicy hotness will let her get away with using racial slurs. I mean, I wouldn’t let her call me a dirty redneck cracker and get away with it. Wait. Yes I would. But then again, I am a dirty redneck cracker. Maybe I just have a shitty publicist.

The long list of men asscociated with Jessica Simpson is getting longer by the day. We have all heard about the Johnny Knoxville rumors, and Bam Margera, and Adam Levine, but now it appears that Jessica as added Trace Ayala to her harem.

She’s been linked in reports to her Dukes of Hazzard co-star Johnny Knoxville, as well as his bad-boy Jackass buddy and skateboard star Bam Margera. But Jessica’s latest boytoy may be Trace Ayala, 25, Justin Timberlake‘s business partner in the William Rast clothing line, who she’s been spotted cozying up to in L.A. since mid-November.

A rep for Simpson insists that Ayala, who recently split with fiancée and 24 actress Elisha Cuthbert, 23, is close friends with Jess’ best friend and assistant CaCee Cobb. "That’s a complete hoax," a Simpson source tells Star.
"I think Trace is hanging around Jess because he wants to be her
boyfriend," the source says. "But Jessica told Trace she can’t date him
‘publicly’ for at least six months. Trace is gaga for Jessica, so he’ll
go along with anything at this point."

See that’s where guys go wrong. When a married girl says we can’t be seen in public together, but come back later when my husband isn’t around, you know you’re in for trouble. It starts out with you bringing her cigarettes at 3:00 in the morning after a fight. Next thing you know you’re meeting her anywhere she requests and bringing the strange items she’s asked for. You’re missing work. You’re not sleeping. But you’re in love. Right? Everything begins to blur into a foggy haze until one day you’re standing over her husband with a gun in your hand and she’s all "what’d you do?!".

At least that’s what I take from the quote you are about to read. Apparently Ms. Johansson thinks that monagamy is not a natural human instinct. Sometimes the news just writes itself folks (the rest of the time I just make it up.)

"I don’t think human beings are
monogamous by nature. It’s difficult – you have to put a lot of effort
into a relationship. I think it’s hard for actors to date each other
because they are so damn moody.

You are away from people constantly and having a relationship that
is strictly by phone, it is miserable. Or if you say to him/her, ‘Hey,
(even though) I am doing a very sexy scene with this very sexy
girl/boy, I love you and I’m going to be thinking of you when I am
rolling around in bed with this person!’"

It took me 8 hours of staring at that quote to write this post. It’s ironic because most of my screenplays involve Scarlett Johannson in a sexy scene with a girl rolling around in bed, except she keeps calling out my name and not Josh Hartnett.

Besides the obvious, which is, "guess what Josh Hartnett, I am fucking around on you with any number of actors and/or actresses", this only confirms my theory that all actors sleep with each other on set. I actually think it’s mandated in the SAG bylaws. SAG rulez.

A Super-sexy reader and now full-time spy for FB&CG sent in this exclusive story about singer Jon Secada.  MB, so pseudonym’d because of her penchant for fine, strappy footwear, related this little tale about her night with Latin singer Jon Secada a few weeks ago.

"So ya, Jon [Secada] smooched me in the VIP room of his after party
after performing w/ Ricky Martin (who was surprisingly good) and the new kid
who sings "More Than Words". Frankie J? Whatever
- lame, who cares? We took some photos
and drank WAY to much before he asked if we wanted to "take the party back
to his hotel room" when the party was winding down. HELLS YA! Me, my [girl] friend JC [who is affiliated with Jon's show] and [another person] go back
to [Jon's] room where he proceeds to FEED me
alcohol and [was] holding my drink for me so I can’t see how much I’m drinking. He kept filling a water bottle for me. Nice. So he was trying to get me and JC to
make out for a while until he just took it upon himself to do the job. My
favorite part of the night might have been when he was telling us that the very
first love song he wrote for someone (which he still sings and JC knows well)
was actually written for someone named [MB]. Now personally, I think that’s the biggest bunch of bull anyone’s ever
tried to pull, but I gotta tell ya… didn’t care – worked like a charm. Next thing I knew, I was flat on my back, legs in the air, screaming my
head off. NO! I was a very good girl. Actually, I was kind of an asshole. We were making out for a while when I started
asking about his kids.  Truth be told, JC is actually a really good [girl] friend of mine and I’ll probably see their next
show in town. I didn’t need to be that girl,
I already had a great time that night so I opted out of the bang of my life. So the next day JC tells me [Jon's] the
biggest thing since anaconda and I shoulda ridden him like a chopper. Now she tells me!"

My first love song was written for you. Nice. I’m not much into male Latin singers so I have to admit I had never even heard of Jon Secada before this. So, at first I wasn’t impressed, but considering that he is on the Today show today, I thought I would lay it out for you. Feliz Navidad!